I remember when plaid could only be seen in flannel shirts. It seemed to be worn only by those who wanted to hike in the woods or hunt. (Or as your grandfather’s favorite piece of clothing!)

But now, multicolored plaid is everywhere. It shows up in coats, shirts, skirts and shoes in many color variations. In fact, when you see some of the color combinations, it makes you ask— what are they thinking?

And the only plaid that continues to be cool (and expensive) is the Burberry plaid in black and red. You see this exclusive plaid in coat linings, scarves or umbrellas.

So, if you want to be in the fashion savvy group, you can add some plaid to your wardrobe. But make sure it doesn’t look like you raided your grandfather’s closet.

It is so easy today to be upset with work challenges. Especially when you know jobs are tough to come by or when you have a co-worker or client that is continuing to give you a hard time or is treating you poorly.

How about the person who doesn’t return a phone call? Or the person who says negative things about you. It may be a one time incident or a constant problem.

You always want to take the high road unless it is a life threatening situation. Once you’ve said or done something, it’s tough to take it back.

You may have to work with that person, department or organization again. We have seen this happen these last few weeks with Obama and Fox news. Instead of it going away it has gotten larger than life. I know these parties have quite a bit of clout so you might think they can get away with it.

I still that say that some day these folks will need each other and they may regret what has been said.

Halloween is the second most decorated holiday in the U.S. You see everything from house décor to party paraphernalia in the Halloween colors of orange and black.

Dr. Morton Power tells us the color orange stimulates creativity, ambition and pride. However, too much orange can produce nervousness and restless behavior.

I love the color orange but I know a little of it goes a long way.

Orange looks great with rust, brown, gray and navy. So, when you want to get in the spirit of Halloween, you can match orange with these colors.

Also, shirts or jackets highlight orange best. Never use orange in a full outfit. You don’t want to look like you’re in jail or working an intersection as a crossing guard.

And never wear black with orange. If you do, you know which holiday you’ll look like!

When you receive or give a compliment what usually happens? The compliment recipient begins to diminish the gift by suggesting they do not deserve it. Or, they rattle off a list of reasons why someone else deserves it instead.

Why is it so hard to accept compliments or awards? I think many of us, especially women, are taught it is not acceptable to mention our own success. Instead we’re taught to be modest.

We saw a classic example a few weeks ago when President Obama received the Noble Peace Prize.  I cringed when he said he did not feel that he deserved the award.

It’s an affront when you say something like this to the organization that presents the award. Don’t do it. A truly elegant and classy thing to say would be—I thank those who gave me this award and I promise to live up to it.

Of course, there are the exceptions. Think of the Oscars and Emmy and other entertainment awards where the thanks goes on too long!

So, when given an award accept it graciously by saying thank you. Share some of the details of the events leading up to the accomplishment or award. Thank the other critical people who helped you.

This is the classy way to accept an award.

Google came up with 80,200,000 hits for how to accept thank you for an award in 021 seconds.

Much has been said and written about women’s shoes.

But now may be a good time to comment on men’s shoes. The color and style of shoes can tell you a lot about a man.

For example, a man walked into the elevator I was riding. He wore cordovan, high shine wings. You knew immediately that this guy was a no nonsense executive.

This reminds me about a single male client who was attracting all the wrong types of women (he is now happily married). The women he was meeting were outdoorsy. However, a four star hotel was his vision of roughing it.

He wore very casual brown shoes even with a suit. It was only when he began to wear black, high gloss stylish shoes that his true essence was captured.  It was then that he began attracting the type of women who also thought roughing it included a four star hotel.

So, while men’s shoes are not as daring as women’s, they have changed dramatically over the last five years. Now they come in all shapes and colors. In fact, here in the States (not Italy!) a shoe manufacturer will create custom shoes for a man for $3500.

You can visit www.zappo.com or www.nordstrom.com to find the right shoe to match your personality – you might be surprised how it can send just the right message, capture the right woman or win over the right audience for you.

So many problems in crucial conversations come from a failure to listen. We simply don’t listen to what the other person is saying.

Here are a few tools to help you listen:

Stay in the moment. This means to give your full attention to the speaker. Stop the mind from wondering where it will go. Keep your hands on the desk (not on the keyboard or a writing pad). Observe body language. In fact, stay so focused on the person that their message is all that exists at that moment.

Tune into the rhythm. Did you ever notice that with certain people, the conversational rhythm doesn’t feel right- you’re starting sentences simultaneously, speaking before the other is finished, interrupting, creating awkward pauses, etc?  The more you listen the more you can get into the flow of the other speaker’s conversational style and minimize these hiccups.

Refrain from preparing a response. While the other person is speaking is not the time to formulate a response. Having totally absorbed everything said, respond only when the speaker is through. You may be surprised at how articulate you sound after you’ve fully assimilated the entire impact of the conversation.

Ekhart  Tolle, who wrote the power of now, suggested that greatest gift you can give a fellow human being is to listen.

A successful professional and leader truly listens.

It was bad enough with plunging necklines and see through blouses.

But skirts really began to shrink this spring and summer. Style Magazine showed celebrities and folks on the streets wearing skirts that barely covered their you know what! Not to mention the  revealing skirts on Project Runway.

Granted, I understand those who want to display their shapely legs. But what about those legs that show best covered up?

Alas, fall brings cooler weather. And the good news about that is people tend to clothe their once exposed skin.

Women are beginning to wear dark hose, thigh high boots or leggings with their short skirts.

So, let me ask the women- Why not be remembered for your your face instead of your bust, butts or legs?

When you don’t get selected for a project, go through a demotion or get fired from a job, it’s tough.  It’s never easy to lose but be prepared when you do. The critical thing is that when it happens you want to lose with grace. Don’t allow too much of your heartache to show. Perception is everything.

When you lose a project, immediately thank the winner.

Don’t make excuses why you lost. You can do that later with your team. The lessons learned will help you so it won’t happen again with the next project.

When you’re demoted or fired, thank the folks you worked with.  Let them know you hope you can count on them for a reference if needed.

It is not easy to be faced with these situations. The main thing is to smile and lose graciously. If you do that, in the end you will come out a winner.

Chris Rock’s new movie, Good Hair, is coming out in October. It’s about black women’s hair and it serves as a reminder that hair for most women and men can define our looks as either good or bad.

If you interviewed 1000 folks, I’ll bet 99% would tell you what they don’t like about their hair! In fact, it seems that everyone wants to have another’s hair color, style and texture. Because of that, it’s good that our personal hair style is only limited by our imagination.

These are the hair questions I receive on an ongoing basis:

• Should I dye my hair or let it go gray (from both men and women)?
• How long can hair be for women and men to still be taken seriously in a business setting?
• What is considered a comb-over for men?
• Is bald beautiful?

Do a Google search for hair. You’ll get back 104,000,000 links in about .042 seconds. This tells us hair is a personal and controversial subject of deep interest to all of us.

Whenever you present be it for a large of small group, it’s critical to engage the audience.

Here are a few key things to remember:

– Treat the audience as if you were having a one on one conversation.

– Gaze into someone’s eyes (the friendliest ones of course). It will help you seem more sincere.

– Allow questions during your presentation (Note: If you prefer to leave questions to the end, be sure to end your presentation after the question and answer period. This leaves the audience remembering your words and the purpose of your presentation.)

Although, you’re seeking engagement, be aware that a challenge can arise when the audience becomes too engaged. You can experience your audience having private conversations with each other when you bring up a good point. That’s good because it means the audience members want to validate your comments with their neighbor.

Unfortunately, they might do it while you’re still speaking!