It’s always been who knows you not who you know. The who knows you is your capital in business as well as socially. Building deep relationships through regular contact is best. However, because of busy schedules, getting together for a cup of coffee is not always doable. Being involved in activities where natural connections are made through committee memberships or event participation works best.

I found out later in life it how much it matters to like, and even be passionate about what one is involved in. It seems that earlier in life earning a living was the first goal…to pay bills and still be left with some freedom to live a life that matters.

In my travels, I like and enjoy being around people that make a difference and demonstrate similar values to mine. It is especially important because when we hit a bump in the road, the passion and joy of the work will push us through it.

There are many books that focus on the importance of passion. Some simple exercises to discover what you may be passionate about include journaling and taking a pause to reflect about a moment that brings you a feeling of a brilliance. It is like when athletes say they were in “the zone”. It worked for me.

Color can be used in full force if the style and cut of the clothing item works. You can even wear the same color top to bottom!

Michelle Obama, the former First Lady has been on a whirlwind. 99% of the time she wears a suit (Yes!) in an array of colors from a metallic cyan-hue suit to a multicolor strip golden suit. Material chosen, cut, and styled, plays a major role in expressing a powerful statement with color. It also needs to be the right occasion.

Her stage presence has always been as a dynamo!  This includes her book tour presence which has been a showstopper and fun to watch. Her suit colors and choices accent her brilliance.

Stephen Covey always advocated a reputation as capital. You expand it by investing in it. Delivering on promises and being accountable to others in a commitment means growing your capital.

Developing relationships and giving back to those relationships are a few other ways to keep banking capital. Strong capital results in job promotions or being favorably considered in a reorganization.  Capital is like having money in the bank when a withdrawal is necessary.

Affiliations offer companionship, respect, and safety which is why folks belong and groups grow. The negative side is when groups become one voice of yes people.

We all want relationships that bring a foundation. Beyond that, how do we retain our individuality with integrity and honesty yet keep the group strong? It is a question, I often ponder. Hopefully, groups will keep this issue on the forefront and avoid groupthink and shutting out different voices.

Successful leaders bring people together especially when the issues are critical. The best leaders:

• Take the time to listen
• Stay open to possibilities
• Never gloat after a win
• Always give credit to others
• Strive for the win/win
• Tap into a team of advisors

In a recent Tribune article, a world traveler was asked how he engaged folks in foreign countries not speaking the language. He indicated that a smile and direct eye contact cuts through language barriers all across the world!

This is true whenever we meet folks we don’t know. Prior to even introducing yourself, the direct eye contact and a smile initiates the engagement. This goes for all situations including intense ones. The first contact propels the next step of engagement.

Understanding the audience and the way information is received takes awareness of reactions to light small talk. Practice key observations such what does the body language and facial expressions suggest? How do they ask or answer questions?

Begin to take mental notes. If the conversation is over the phone, listen to the pauses and the tone of voice when they speak. Remember, what may appear as a gentle question to you can feel harsh to the receiver. If a comment is made and the reaction perceived feels like a bull in a china shop, negate it by adding a softer comment. Successful leaders acquire much more capital when they avoid acting like the bull in a china shop.

Often, we must work with a person who takes up all the air in the room. With a larger than life personality this person can also be very fun to be with. If this individual is a group leader, sometimes, details and tasks never get addressed or completed.

Allow this person their moment and when there is a break in conversation, rejoin the discussion with the task in mind. Avoid trying to control this person but instead manage them. This happened at Thanksgiving with my larger than life youngest sister. Instead of trying to rein her in, I asked her to make the gravy and everything went back on track!

Holidays can be overwhelming with additional events added to an already full work and social life. Businesses rush to end the year on a good note, individuals work diligently to ensure all the festivities and related activities are completed.

Recently, a client who is a also a friend, took his wife away for a long weekend. I thought, what a great move. When they returned refreshed, they might find the holiday stress a bit easier to handle. So, take a pause, go away, and just chill to ease the stress.

For those who cannot get away, outsource gift giving. Amazon is great for gifts, especially if you include the gift wrap and delivery in the purchase. Harry and David, with their wonderful pears and other goodies also make gift giving a fun task, not a stressful one.