It is so easy today to be upset with work challenges. Especially when you know jobs are tough to come by or when you have a co-worker or client that is continuing to give you a hard time or is treating you poorly.

How about the person who doesn’t return a phone call? Or the person who says negative things about you. It may be a one time incident or a constant problem.

You always want to take the high road unless it is a life threatening situation. Once you’ve said or done something, it’s tough to take it back.

You may have to work with that person, department or organization again. We have seen this happen these last few weeks with Obama and Fox news. Instead of it going away it has gotten larger than life. I know these parties have quite a bit of clout so you might think they can get away with it.

I still that say that some day these folks will need each other and they may regret what has been said.

When you receive or give a compliment what usually happens? The compliment recipient begins to diminish the gift by suggesting they do not deserve it. Or, they rattle off a list of reasons why someone else deserves it instead.

Why is it so hard to accept compliments or awards? I think many of us, especially women, are taught it is not acceptable to mention our own success. Instead we’re taught to be modest.

We saw a classic example a few weeks ago when President Obama received the Noble Peace Prize.  I cringed when he said he did not feel that he deserved the award.

It’s an affront when you say something like this to the organization that presents the award. Don’t do it. A truly elegant and classy thing to say would be—I thank those who gave me this award and I promise to live up to it.

Of course, there are the exceptions. Think of the Oscars and Emmy and other entertainment awards where the thanks goes on too long!

So, when given an award accept it graciously by saying thank you. Share some of the details of the events leading up to the accomplishment or award. Thank the other critical people who helped you.

This is the classy way to accept an award.

Google came up with 80,200,000 hits for how to accept thank you for an award in 021 seconds.

So many problems in crucial conversations come from a failure to listen. We simply don’t listen to what the other person is saying.

Here are a few tools to help you listen:

Stay in the moment. This means to give your full attention to the speaker. Stop the mind from wondering where it will go. Keep your hands on the desk (not on the keyboard or a writing pad). Observe body language. In fact, stay so focused on the person that their message is all that exists at that moment.

Tune into the rhythm. Did you ever notice that with certain people, the conversational rhythm doesn’t feel right- you’re starting sentences simultaneously, speaking before the other is finished, interrupting, creating awkward pauses, etc?  The more you listen the more you can get into the flow of the other speaker’s conversational style and minimize these hiccups.

Refrain from preparing a response. While the other person is speaking is not the time to formulate a response. Having totally absorbed everything said, respond only when the speaker is through. You may be surprised at how articulate you sound after you’ve fully assimilated the entire impact of the conversation.

Ekhart  Tolle, who wrote the power of now, suggested that greatest gift you can give a fellow human being is to listen.

A successful professional and leader truly listens.

When you don’t get selected for a project, go through a demotion or get fired from a job, it’s tough.  It’s never easy to lose but be prepared when you do. The critical thing is that when it happens you want to lose with grace. Don’t allow too much of your heartache to show. Perception is everything.

When you lose a project, immediately thank the winner.

Don’t make excuses why you lost. You can do that later with your team. The lessons learned will help you so it won’t happen again with the next project.

When you’re demoted or fired, thank the folks you worked with.  Let them know you hope you can count on them for a reference if needed.

It is not easy to be faced with these situations. The main thing is to smile and lose graciously. If you do that, in the end you will come out a winner.

Whenever you present be it for a large of small group, it’s critical to engage the audience.

Here are a few key things to remember:

– Treat the audience as if you were having a one on one conversation.

– Gaze into someone’s eyes (the friendliest ones of course). It will help you seem more sincere.

– Allow questions during your presentation (Note: If you prefer to leave questions to the end, be sure to end your presentation after the question and answer period. This leaves the audience remembering your words and the purpose of your presentation.)

Although, you’re seeking engagement, be aware that a challenge can arise when the audience becomes too engaged. You can experience your audience having private conversations with each other when you bring up a good point. That’s good because it means the audience members want to validate your comments with their neighbor.

Unfortunately, they might do it while you’re still speaking!

In the United States, personal space is considered one arm length.  But lately, folks have been too close. Especially in situations where relationships are being established.

Be aware of how personal space can work for or against you. Look at Kanye West’s slip up at the MTV awards show (see a clip of it at the link below).  Had he honored the personal space of Taylor Swift, he would not have even considered taking her microphone away.

The only time you need to be in someone’s personal space is when you are invited.  A wonderful example was when Beyonce asked Taylor Swift to come up to the stage and have her moment.

So, if you honor personal space, you’ll avoid having to apologize for the inevitable social mistakes that will result if you don’t.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1214080/Kanye-Wests-MTV-rant-sparks-wave-internet-virals.html

It is critical for today’s business professional to be on an internet networking site like Facebook, LinkedIn and Plaxo.

Keep in mind, that when you are posting your picture on these sites to put your best face forward.

Your Facebook photo can be anything from a casual headshot to a group picture of yourself with others (be sure you get their permission – like I did with Magic Johnson). The picture can have a fun quality to it but be careful. If a potential employer looks you up you don’t want your picture to be career killer.

Your LinkedIn photo should be a color head shot in professional clothing (you do not have to wear a jacket). Always smile in your picture.  Keep it current- 4 years max. Never use a logo for your photo.

If you photographically present yourself like this on Facebook, LinkedIn or other social networking sites, you’ll be truly putting your best face forward!

Look for a threesome:

• If you don’t know anyone, start by joining a group of three or more. Two people talking together might be engaged in a private conversation that they don’t want interrupted.

Come prepared with conversation starters:

• Have an opening line or two that will serve as an icebreaker when you approach someone you are meeting for the first time, such as “How did you hear about this event?”

Being open to it is the first step. Get help is step 2.