How many times have you been with people at a party or in a meeting, who never let you get a word in edgewise? And you’re stuck listening to the self imposed subject matter expert of everything we do.

They make our bodies go tense, cause us to make faces, and raise our battle instinct in preparation to enter a war of words. Quite simply, our dark side comes out.

Here are three tips to help us handle these folks:

• Do not try to join in the conversation. It only prolongs the talk (and the agony).

• Let them have about two minutes of talk time. Then do something physical (offer to get them a drink or show them an interesting item).

• Acknowledge their input. Often these folks are insecure and feel they have to show us how smart they are. When we acknowledge that, they may stop talking. (And leave enough oxygen for everyone else!)

Today everyone wants the best value for their dollar. How can we say seek this out without sounding rude or needy?

For example, I have a mid-luxury car. Whenever I get it serviced, it is triple the going rate. I continue to go to the dealer because a permanent service record will exist when I sell the car.

However, I never pick up my car without holding my breath before I look at the bill. This time the car needed some extra service and the cost was substantial. So, instead of getting huffy, I asked calmly and with a smile, “Would you consider discounting this for me?”

I ended up getting a 10% discount!

So, always ask for a discount politely. Use the phrase” Would you consider” with a smile and you will get a discount the majority of the time.

I have a questionnaire that is used in my workshop. One of the questions on it is whether or not it’s acceptable to talk on a cell phone in public. Most folks answer that it is not. But you and I know everyone does it. And now we are even getting physically hurt doing it!

The article “Forget Gum” in the January 17th issue of the New York Times spotlighted this phenomenon. Walking and using the cell phone has become risky. In fact, people are getting hurt because they are distracted. They run into cars, trip on items inside and outside of the home or workplace and walk into walls.

Today we multi-task everything to get the job done. Making mistakes is one thing but getting hurt is another. So, act the way we answer my cell phone etiquette question. When talking on the cell phone, stand in one spot. And please, make sure it’s a place where no can hear you. No one wants to be a captive listener to your one sided phone call!

I like the line in my favorite movie, Sleepless in Seattle, when Meg Ryan tells Tom Hanks, “It may not be personal to you, it was personal to me.” It is tough in today’s work environment to avoid the personal aspect of business.

Business decisions are based on facts, numbers and the bottom line. However, I do believe if you are competitive in all areas, what will always win out is the personal factor.

Do they want to have a cup of coffee with you?
Do you communicate in a manner that they understand?
Do you have the same values, energy and understanding of the bigger picture as they do?

The second page of the business section of the New York Times focuses on leadership and a selected CEO. Most often, people are drawn to the personal qualities of their leaders. Read what Bobbi Brown, founder of Bobbi Brown Cosmetics interview in Sunday’s edition – January 24, 2010.

So, in my experience – all things being the same – whether you get the job, are the person they want on the team or get anointed as the next leader – it’s all personal.

Today, we are bombarded with heavy perfumes or just bad odors. And one of the worst first impressions occurs when you meet someone and they smell offensive. Here are some tips to ensure that you smell fresh and pleasant.

One of the worst offenders are cigarette odors and food smells, It’s very hard to mask those odors but carrying fabric softener helps. You can freshen up clothes just out of storage or in cleaner bags too long, by airing them in the bathroom with the shower running or putting them in dryer with scented fabric softener.

To prevent having strange and offensive odors, don’t eat food in the car, use very light cologne, sit far away from the kitchen in restaurants and stay away from heavy smoking areas.

Another odor offender is bad breath. Always carry breath mints or mouth spray.

You want your first impression not to be spoiled by the emission of an unpleasant odor.

I have been always told that when you’re given a gift, it’s the thought that counts. However, what’s the best way to handle your surprise when you receive a gift and are clueless as to why the giver ever thought you would like it?

This is the appropriate time to remember it really is the thought that counts. First, smile.

Then, here a few things you might say:

• “This was so thoughtful of you.” Then quickly describe how you are going to use it.
• “I am so surprised and will think of you when I use it.”
• “I was just thinking about this and am so pleased you thought of it first for me.”

The number one thing is remember is to reach deep down and be sincere. If you cannot say anything positive – you can still smile and say, “It was so nice of you to do this.”

Of course, always say thank you!

It can be a challenge to find the perfect gift for a valued client. Corporate policies vary from company to company. If there is not a specific policy that prohibits your client from receiving a gift from a supplier or consultant, here are a few recommendations.

Opt for sending (especially if you are running late) a New Year’s gift with good wishes tailored to their industry. Along with your wishes, the gift could be a stylish coffee table or a current business book, an uplifting music CD or even a classic movie.

Sometimes, a memorable gift is as simple as a well written note inside a holiday card. The most important thing is to remember your client who in the past has served and in the future will serve you well.

It seems that whether it is remembering someone’s name or making introductions you need to be perfect when networking. However, how many times have you said someone’s name wrong or added the wrong bit of information to a moniker?

I believe if you do this with a smile you can have some fun with it. For example, if you fumble an introduction – you can smile and say “Let me start over again.” When you forget someone’s name you can say “I remember great faces but am terrible at remembering names” or “It is great to see you, what have you been up to?”

If you have just been introduced to someone and you can’t remember their name you can fess up by saying “My brain has gone into sleep mode, sorry” or “It’s on the tip of my tongue but my tongue is recharging.”

The most important thing is to maintain a sense of humor and a smile when you mix and mingle at parties this holiday season. Not only will you have more fun but you’ll be remembered because people like being around you.

The tradition when making a toast when you are the host of the party is to give it before the meal begins. The toast should welcome everyone and give a few words about the occasion. If you are going to use humor, do in good taste. This toast should not be a roast. The best toasts are genuine, with a smile and confidence.

If you are the guest you should wait after the host has made his or her toast. If he or she has not done so by the time the meal is serve, you as the guest, can make your toast thanking the host or hostess before everyone begins to eat.

Raising the glass has become a custom when making toasts, although it is not necessary for all of the guests to raise their glasses at the same time. It is also not necessary for you to stand unless you are a table and it will make it easier for folks to hear and see you. Do not tap the glass to get attention unless it is necessary for a large and energetic group. Otherwise raising the glass standing up or sitting down should get everyone’s attention.

So remember when you make a toast, do it with a smile and be sincere and when you do you will show grace and elegance.

USA Today once reported most communication problems come from e-mail exchanges. Here are a few thoughts to be sure your image is where it needs to be and the message you send expresses your true intent.

If you are sending a long message I recommend not using a mobile hand held like a blackberry. Your lap top is better. It’s easier to check each word.

Always assume that everyone in America (make that the world) will read your message. Every time someone gets in trouble it seems like there’s always a deleted email to support it!

Use spell check!

Most of the current electronic hand held tools have spell check. If you don’t have spell check, mention that in your email. In fact, you might even ask for misspelling pre-forgiveness.

Always read your e-mails twice before you send them. If you’re angry, save your message and put it in the draft folder. Re-read it the next day. It may not seem as appropriate then.

E-mail keeps you in touch quicker and faster than snail mail. It’s also an easy documentation tool. But remember, it has the potential to bruise your image.