In a professional setting is a hug appropriate? Or is just appropriate at holiday parties?

Generally speaking, the only time you can to touch someone in a business setting is when you shake hands. However, what happens if someone wants to hug you or the urge to hug strikes you?

Female to female or male to male is not usually a problem. Even then, hug with caution. To be on the safe side, don’t initiate a hug unless you have a long term relationship with the “huggee”, and it’s been a custom for the two of you.

In a male/female situation, as a male I do not recommend initiating a hug. If a woman hugs you it’s fine to reciprocate. Remember, in a business setting it’s one hug—gentle and brief.

If you’re at a holiday party where alcohol is served, hug with caution. Many a career has been ruined because of a hug that became more of a hugggggg.

No tight squeezing, please!

Recent research by Dr. Richard Perry of Ohio State University and a team of psychologists has suggested that an upright posture affects how others see you and how you see yourself. The study consisted of two groups. The ones who sat up straight experienced more confidence than those who sat in a slumped position.

Studies have also shown that when you smile, even if you are not particularly happy, good feelings begin to flow.

So, the next time you are walking down the hall, walk straight with a smile on your face. Those around you will perceive you as being more confident.

Half the battle is having those around you feel more confident about you. When they are, it gives you more opportunities to showcase yourself and to possibly expand the horizons of your professional life.

In watching Michael Jackson’s “This is it”, I was especially fascinated by his stylists and designers use of Swarovski crystals and sequins. I loved Michael’s gold crystal pants.

This brings to mind the growing use of jewels to accessorize day wear such as tee shirts, jackets and pants.

Glittery adornments have traditionally been worn in the evening or by performers. Not any more. So, the question arises—when is sparkle appropriate?

The general rule for a professional environment still holds. Save your sparkles for the evening and holiday events. The one exception would be those who work in creative or entertainment fields. To them, I say go for it!

Color also makes a difference – neutral colors like black, white and topaz create an elegant look for sparkles and sequins. The jewel colors- red, gold and purple- will always have a festive look to them.

Finally, if you want to have some flair but you’re uncertain as to how much, you can wear a scarf with a bit of sparkle.

Hand grooming is critical to projecting a professional image. Torn cuticles and ragged nails are unacceptable. Does this mean that your nails always have to look manicured? This question comes up time and time again.

Some people never have cuticles that grow. These folks just need to be sure their nails are clean and filed. They can manage this grooming themselves.

Whether your cuticles tend to be dry and unsightly or you want to prevent any nail issues, a bi-monthly manicure is a good way to ensure your hands look their best.

Men should keep the nails short and filed semi round.

Women can finish their nails rounded or semi square.

Nail polish also reflects personal taste. If men choose to polish they need to go for a non shiny look. For women a neutral color is best.

However, if you’re in the arts or a creative field, you can add some flair.

Your nails speak louder than you think when they are not well groomed.

I remember when plaid could only be seen in flannel shirts. It seemed to be worn only by those who wanted to hike in the woods or hunt. (Or as your grandfather’s favorite piece of clothing!)

But now, multicolored plaid is everywhere. It shows up in coats, shirts, skirts and shoes in many color variations. In fact, when you see some of the color combinations, it makes you ask— what are they thinking?

And the only plaid that continues to be cool (and expensive) is the Burberry plaid in black and red. You see this exclusive plaid in coat linings, scarves or umbrellas.

So, if you want to be in the fashion savvy group, you can add some plaid to your wardrobe. But make sure it doesn’t look like you raided your grandfather’s closet.

It is so easy today to be upset with work challenges. Especially when you know jobs are tough to come by or when you have a co-worker or client that is continuing to give you a hard time or is treating you poorly.

How about the person who doesn’t return a phone call? Or the person who says negative things about you. It may be a one time incident or a constant problem.

You always want to take the high road unless it is a life threatening situation. Once you’ve said or done something, it’s tough to take it back.

You may have to work with that person, department or organization again. We have seen this happen these last few weeks with Obama and Fox news. Instead of it going away it has gotten larger than life. I know these parties have quite a bit of clout so you might think they can get away with it.

I still that say that some day these folks will need each other and they may regret what has been said.

Halloween is the second most decorated holiday in the U.S. You see everything from house décor to party paraphernalia in the Halloween colors of orange and black.

Dr. Morton Power tells us the color orange stimulates creativity, ambition and pride. However, too much orange can produce nervousness and restless behavior.

I love the color orange but I know a little of it goes a long way.

Orange looks great with rust, brown, gray and navy. So, when you want to get in the spirit of Halloween, you can match orange with these colors.

Also, shirts or jackets highlight orange best. Never use orange in a full outfit. You don’t want to look like you’re in jail or working an intersection as a crossing guard.

And never wear black with orange. If you do, you know which holiday you’ll look like!

Much has been said and written about women’s shoes.

But now may be a good time to comment on men’s shoes. The color and style of shoes can tell you a lot about a man.

For example, a man walked into the elevator I was riding. He wore cordovan, high shine wings. You knew immediately that this guy was a no nonsense executive.

This reminds me about a single male client who was attracting all the wrong types of women (he is now happily married). The women he was meeting were outdoorsy. However, a four star hotel was his vision of roughing it.

He wore very casual brown shoes even with a suit. It was only when he began to wear black, high gloss stylish shoes that his true essence was captured.  It was then that he began attracting the type of women who also thought roughing it included a four star hotel.

So, while men’s shoes are not as daring as women’s, they have changed dramatically over the last five years. Now they come in all shapes and colors. In fact, here in the States (not Italy!) a shoe manufacturer will create custom shoes for a man for $3500.

You can visit www.zappo.com or www.nordstrom.com to find the right shoe to match your personality – you might be surprised how it can send just the right message, capture the right woman or win over the right audience for you.

So many problems in crucial conversations come from a failure to listen. We simply don’t listen to what the other person is saying.

Here are a few tools to help you listen:

Stay in the moment. This means to give your full attention to the speaker. Stop the mind from wondering where it will go. Keep your hands on the desk (not on the keyboard or a writing pad). Observe body language. In fact, stay so focused on the person that their message is all that exists at that moment.

Tune into the rhythm. Did you ever notice that with certain people, the conversational rhythm doesn’t feel right- you’re starting sentences simultaneously, speaking before the other is finished, interrupting, creating awkward pauses, etc?  The more you listen the more you can get into the flow of the other speaker’s conversational style and minimize these hiccups.

Refrain from preparing a response. While the other person is speaking is not the time to formulate a response. Having totally absorbed everything said, respond only when the speaker is through. You may be surprised at how articulate you sound after you’ve fully assimilated the entire impact of the conversation.

Ekhart  Tolle, who wrote the power of now, suggested that greatest gift you can give a fellow human being is to listen.

A successful professional and leader truly listens.

It was bad enough with plunging necklines and see through blouses.

But skirts really began to shrink this spring and summer. Style Magazine showed celebrities and folks on the streets wearing skirts that barely covered their you know what! Not to mention the  revealing skirts on Project Runway.

Granted, I understand those who want to display their shapely legs. But what about those legs that show best covered up?

Alas, fall brings cooler weather. And the good news about that is people tend to clothe their once exposed skin.

Women are beginning to wear dark hose, thigh high boots or leggings with their short skirts.

So, let me ask the women- Why not be remembered for your your face instead of your bust, butts or legs?