Ben Wechsler writes a newsletter on success and has developed The Wechsler Leadership Program, Creative Problem Solving, and Strategy & Innovation. I recently interviewed him on what experiences led him to develop his coaching and leadership tenets.
Besides Ben being certified in all the above areas, he used his thirty years of technology and life experiences to craft the programs.

What I found refreshing, because, often we don’t appreciate our own steps towards achievement, is that he feels completing one goal can be a significant success. Sometimes, we expect to be the next Steve Jobs or the Oprah’s of the world which can be so defeating. He firmly believes success is when you achieve any measureable goal. Benhttp://benwechsler.com/success-network-how-aware-are-you-of-your-own-success.

Amy Wilkinson is a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the author of The Creator’s Code. Amy’s two years of research can be found in the book. It turns out that leadership has nothing to do with age and more to do with mindset, skills and psychographics.

Successful leaders share the ability to:

1. Spot gaps in the market place
2. Maintain a long term vision
3. Iterate quickly
4. Fail smartly
5. Collaborate
6. Be generous

Folks with these skills tend to be revolutionary and attract people to work with them. They have the ability to cultivate, encourage and harness conflict. These leaders are not afraid of the unknown and constantly find solutions. They keep asking questions and probe until the best way to move forward is discovered.

The earth is about minimizing footprints, using natural resources and recycling. My mom was a saver to a fault. So, I learned one way of putting this in practice is about how you can save your clothing and at the same time reduce the wear and tear that occurs in over-cleaning.

Hang your clothing up once you get home to air it out, use spot remover to take out stains and save on cleaning and washing items. Recycle clothing by getting more wear out of them by sprucing them up. For example, new buttons can energize clothing and dresses can be made into blouses. Taking the sleeves off a jacket and turning the jacket into a coat vest is very popular now.

These are a few tips to help conserve your clothing while at the same time, saving the earth.

I recently attended a showcase where professionals shared their crafts and secrets to help their peers and colleagues grow in corporate careers and expand their learning. However, it was easy to spot the presenters who were only there to hawk their services. They provided surface content only. I firmly believe the folks who were truly sharing were passionate about their craft and wanted others to benefit. These folks are in my book and are leaders in their industry. What they give to others will result in them receiving it back 100+ percent along with heartfelt appreciation and respect.

Among recent news was commentary about a very successful company that surpassed Walmart as the biggest in sales and earnings. However, it came out in the news how that firm nurtured combative and take-no-prisoner behavior. The high producers get rewarded and deliver at all costs, often sacrificing health and family. Teamwork and relationship building counts for nothing.

These folks are sharks. Sharks win at all costs and get away with it. Don’t swim with them unless you are sure you can win no matter the cost to someone else. You have to embrace the win/lose mentality. You are the winner and they are the losers.

I was once in sales and a top producer for 10 plus years. I learned from the toughest sales people and attracted sharks as friends. One day I realized that this was not me. The sharkiness came out of me as a matter of self-preservation. Today, I stay away from sharks and if I have to work with them, I don’t fight them. I just stay out of their way.

Asking intrusive ones are definitely a relationship destroyer. Recently, a colleague lost his position through a major reorganization of his firm. He had been with the company for 30 plus years. It really was his whole life and, in fact, defined him.

Instead of peers helping him manage through this life-altering loss, all they could do was ask questions like, do you have enough funds to live on, what could you have done to prevent this and have you begun to think about the future?

However, the best question would have been, how can I help? He was basically in an unwanted divorce. The next time you have a friend going through a major change, don’t add to the pain by asking intrusive questions; instead, be a comfort.

Hitting the mark is the moment when what you have accomplished the task. It can be engaging the audience and seeing they understand your point. It can be as simple as getting a smile back when you have smiled. The point is to remember that sense of gratification when things don’t hit the mark. It will keep you going to reach that mark.

I work with many clients where I get that sense of gratification in our partnership when they get to a point where they see what needs to be done and embrace it. So many times we tend to look at the missteps as setbacks as instead of steps to get where we need to go. It is all a process. This is why I feel strongly about it. Keep that sense of gratification when you hit the mark of achievement and remember sometimes, it takes steps.

Have you known folks who have the death stare? It’s when someone stares at another with a look that makes you want to shrink down in their seat in terror. (Examples are actors, Kristen Stewart and Sir Patrick Stewart.)  A death stare is different than a poker face. It is more about the eyes that go right through you. Check it out with your friends; ask them what your eyes say. The death stare  has more impact than any words. Use it wisely. (Doris Day never had a death stare while Joan Crawford did.)

Today, I was at the Judicial Courthouse supporting a friend going through a difficult time. In the building, the only folks who can use a cell phone are attorneys. While in the elevator, I noticed a young woman wearing dressy open toe sandals (more for night wear), very worn jeans and a makeshift jacket who tossed hair and shifted her armload of papers and began using her phone. I casually asked, “You must be an attorney? “Yes,” she replied. I was thinking OMG.

When I got off the elevator, I saw that my friends’ attorney was wearing a lightweight dark suit, modern under pining and great ALG flats. She had long hair and was beautifully groomed.

We saw an attorney (with a phone in her hands) on another elevator ride who gave off an air of poise and confidence. I would hire her in a minute.

My friend thought maybe the first attorney I saw was only an associate. That may be true but it is still no excuse; you always want to look like you are ready to take the next step.

Why are we surprised when we see actresses and actors who look short in real life? That’s because on the screen, their clothing has been tailored to scale to give an impression of greater height.

I like to stretch accessory guidelines. I have been told many times that only certain items should be worn on tall folks and short people. For instance, the rule is that a short person should never have cuffs on their slacks. Also, a tie on a shorter man should be worn slightly longer than appear too short. However, I feel that if the proportions are working and the accessories look good, that usually works no matter what the person is wearing.

Stretching the guidelines on accessories can make an outfit truly stand out.