Brad Pit was recently interviewed. One phrase from that interview sticks out in my mind: “When you are interesting to yourself you will be interesting to others.”

Being involved in different projects and remaining constantly refreshed helps you stay connected and relevant. One tactic is to move out of your comfort zone and try something new. Folks I find the most interesting are the ones always attempting new experiences.

There was a recent segment on 60 minutes about how one can acquire charisma. This is a critical element in developing relationships and even more important in leadership.

However, there are different levels of charisma. The piece I believe is critical for leadership is that folks want to be with you. They also trust you have the best intentions for whatever is currently happening.

Here are some critical elements of charisma:

• Eye contact
• High energy
• Passion in what you believe in
• Listening skills
• Trust (you always are true to your word)

If you use practice these elements daily, you will begin to develop the charisma vital for fostering business and social relationships.

The primary purpose of business holiday parties is to celebrate and strengthen relationships. But, they can also be a gregarious time where too much information is shared and too many alcoholic beverages consumed.

Conversations at these events are best when the discussions are about current events or safe subjects like best restaurants, movies or books. Also, maintain a strict two cocktail limit.

Keeping these things in mind will help ensure the holiday parties work as positive relationship strengtheners.

In the spirit of being green, re gifting can work when you give to someone not in the same circle of friends or business. A gift can be re-gifted if it is less than six months old, does not have an expiration date (like food and wine) and has never been used.  However, the most important thing is that the person who receives the gift will know its value and use it.

I am often asked what I think of holiday motif clothing, sweaters, ties and pins, etc.

It really depends on the situation and the culture of your organization. For family affairs, a great example could be seen in the December 7th episode of Modern Family. One of the family members was dressed in a holiday sweater and he loved it. Other family members did not wear any holiday styled clothing and were fine with that, also.
  
So, if you want to wear a holiday styled piece of clothing and look smart in it, here are some guidelines:

Do:

• Less. If you want to wear red or green to be in spirit, a little color will go a long way. For example, wear color in a sweater or scarf as an accent with camel as a foundation color. For Christmas tree, Santa Claus or candy cane designs, small prints are more elegant than large size ones.

Don’t

• Do top to bottom in red. Recently I saw a young woman wearing bright red shoes, hose and skirt. Choose one, not all three.
• Wear Santa hats, reindeer and ornaments in the hair at the Christmas party.

Follow these simple rules and you can be in the holiday spirit and retain a touch of fun.

Due to the economy both companies and people are being stretched to do more. In fact, in today’s workplace, more folks are putting in 60 to 80 hours a week while being paid for 40. So how do you get noticed without sounding whiny or being felt taken advantage of? 

I believe it is important to sit down with your manager and let s/he know what you are doing in an inclusive way. Start the conversation by stating that this is an update of what has been going on these past few weeks. Next, when you get your performance review, include the items you have been working on. Mention the positive impact on your group and the good effect the activities have been having on the company. Follow this advice and you will be noticed and noted as a high potential leader.

The rule of thumb has always been to button all the buttons when wearing a double breasted blazer for both men and women. However, there are exceptions to the rule when it comes to jackets (not a suit jacket) that are double breasted. You don’t always have to button it all the way up. In some cases, when there is a tie with the jacket you only have to button half way up, leaving the top two buttons open. A double breasted jacket with a tie usually projects a casual look.

More problems are caused by e-mail than intended. That’s because words, if not written correctly, can be misconstrued. Plus, sentences are sometimes not even fully read if they are too long.

Fast Company magazine just had an article about how to be effective with email communications. Here are some golden rules to remember:

1. Never write an e-mail that is about a controversial subject.
2. Always begin with the end in mind.
3. Never write in all caps. It is considered shouting.
4. Always read the e-mail out loud to see how it may sound to the recipient.
5. Because we live and work in a global world, be aware of the impact words can have in cultures outside of the US.

One more guideline, always assume that everyone in the world will receive and read your email!

Remembering these simple rules will help ensure your e-mails will be read and effective at the same time.

Below are the top five things that were listed in a recent workshop exercise on personal impressions:

1. Personal hygiene (grooming and body odor)
2. Facial expression (smile)
3. Positive attitude
4. Body language
5. Clothing choices

So, be sure these five points are working for you. If you do, then you will always make Your First Impression, Your Best One.

Listening skills are critical to effective and inclusive communication. So often, people interrupt before another person finishes. Today, I happened to hear an example of this. It was on a television program where one person kept interrupting the other speaker because he did not agree with him.

Instead of obtaining my support for his view, I immediately thought how rude and abusive the speaker was. In fact, I could not even listen to his comments. When someone is trying to explain a point that you do not agree with, you must listen and allow the other person to finish. If you do this, I can promise that when you do speak, the other person will believe you have listened.

And then they will listen to you.