I remember how important it is, in the heat of the moment, to be seen as the smartest one in the room. It is a feeling you have when there is a goal that needs to be accomplished, you know the answer but everyone does not agree with it. You accomplish the goal while leaving some dead bodies in the process. In my experience, those dead bodies become your road blocks to moving up. Often, when coaching, the most difficult issue is getting clients to become aware of how being the smartest guy in the room can derail their careers. Even the CEO cannot be the smartest guy in the room all the time.

How many times do we put on the perfect outfit for a special occasion and are shocked when it does not look or feel right? It is important to try on that special outfit at least twice to ensure it is the right one. Secondly, if the occasion is really special, have a backup ready just in case. Weather changes or weight gains can take us all by surprise.

In a recent New York Times Style section, it shows President Obama wearing an open collar shirt with his suit. The trend lately has been an open collar shirt without a tie for high profile men. This reminds me of a zillion years ago when DreamWorks was formed with Steven Spielberg, David Geffen and David Katzenberg. The only person wearing a shirt and tie was David Katzenberg. Steven and David Geffen both were millionaires and David Katzenberg was really still a working man.

In many firms, it’s okay to wear a tie with no jacket unless it is required for a presentation. So, there are situations where certain folks can escape from wearing a tie. However, when President Obama speaks to the nation he is still has on a tie. Also, not every man can look elegant when tieless unless the shirt is impeccable.

I do believe a wonderful statement necklace on a woman projects the same presence as a man wearing tie. A necklace, like a tie, draws attention to the face. It frames the face and adds diversity in color and shape.

For the necklace to have the same effect as a man’s tie, it must lay close to the collar bone. It needs boldness with color, the stones or the metal. A long necklace can have the same effect if it contains more than three strands.

There have been many books and articles about what makes a great speaker. Politicians, especially during an election year, are great examples of passion versus script. The folks that get up in front of you who truly believe in what they are speaking about, bring us into their world. We feel their commitment and beliefs. The folks who are scripted never really hook us into their ideas. They may have more substance and experience but unfortunately, they may struggle to attract followers or win elections by relying solely on script instead of passion.

Whether is it Scandal or The Good Wife, I love watching Kerry Washington and Christine Baranski, especially in how they take control of the situations they face on the programs.

I also notice that their clothing choices and especially Christine’s jewelry picks, paired with clothing selections, are impeccable. Wardrobe stylists on these shows spend hours with an abundance of resources at their fingertips to style their characters. We may not always be able to afford TV character choices of clothing or jewelry. However, watching these shows can provide ideas and suggestions on wardrobe and accessory stylings. It’s almost like having your own stylist!

In a recent Steven Covey webinar featuring Diana Thomas, Executive Coach and CEO Advisor (and a friend and colleague), she talked about the qualities of A and C players using her past experience as a Vice President at McDonald’s.

Consider the following qualities to ensure you stay on top of your game and do not slide into the C group.

“A” Players:
– Embrace vision (the bigger picture or your goal) and bring it to life
– Tend to be creative, adaptable, resourceful
– Are willing to do what it takes to achieve results
– Attract other A Players

“C” Players:
– Resist change and make excuses
– Frustrate other team players (even those who might help)
– Drain the energy of others
– Can be distracting to the productive time of others

In the movie, Joy Luck Club, one of the Asian daughters loses her identity because she tries to assimilate herself into her new husband’s family and lifestyle. In doing so, she loses her own identity. I use this story with clients who might be in difficult business relationships with company stakeholders. They try to reach the finish line with work but the line keeps moving. These individuals take pride in their ability to deliver expectations but continually find themselves in situations where they cannot. They keep doing more but more gets piled on them because the finish line keeps changing. The folks who survive by pushing back in an intrusive environment are ones who know their own worth. So, when you can put a stake in the ground by letting people know what you are worth, you not only get yourself back but you receive the respect of others.

It would be great if everyone you met liked you. Our hope is that we are engaging enough that folks want to have a cup of coffee with us. The truth though, is that not everyone will be warm and friendly. Maybe they don’t really like you or could it be they don’t like anyone?

I remember many years ago I would be in situations with a group of people who had powerful positions in the business community who would never say hello or even start a casual conversation with me. I was always feeling dejected whenever in their company. Later, I found myself with well-known, successful business people at a social event and saw these folks act the same way with them! It then hit me like a light bulb that they may not like anyone. Now, I know not everyone will like me but they may not really like anyone. They are just not people oriented.

How many times have you been in meeting and notice that the person you are speaking with completely changes facial expression and body language? This signals that the person is not on the same page with you. What should you do if this happens?

Asking a question to reengage the person is critical. The question must have elements that will bring the person back to the conversation. Never intrusive always inclusive, and if appropriate, a why, how or what question. Pay attention to their facial expression and body language to make sure you are getting their attention. Wait for the answer.