An apology for a transgression in a business situation can be a complicated thing, and it is so organically linked to the context that generalized protocols can be treacherous. Let’s start with this one: you aren’t ready to make an apology until you really mean it. The person to whom you are apologizing will have an acute ability to sense whether you are just going through the motions or are sincere. That person will also know if your transgression is a one-off, or whether it fits a pattern. If the latter, you will have much more work to do. And people can always tell whether you are apologizing for your deed, or only for having been caught. Many missteps are possible when making an apology. On the other hand, if you do it thoughtfully and meaningfully, you may do more than repair the damage – you may strengthen an important collegial bond.

A common courtesy is accepting or not accepting an invitation. However, this little nicety appears to have gone by the wayside. Is not responding a response? It is not. When is the appropriate time frame to respond? As soon you know if you are able to attend or not, respond so you don’t forget it.
If there is a respond-by date, use that as a guideline to answer the invitation. Responding to an invitation is being respectful to the party throwers. If you don’t know whether you can attend, at least let them know you received the invitation.

I am continually amazed and reminded that timing is everything on style choices. A recent magazine featured the latest styles. They included a patterned top with a printed bottom (both for men and women).

This reminded me of the first store-bought blouse I wore (orange and yellow flowers) with a plaid blue and red skirt. I was so proud of my ensemble until I was told you never wear two different patterns or colors not in the same color circle together.  Maybe that is why I wear only solids to this day! Seriously, today, what I find most interesting is that it seems that anything goes. Still, I believe style should always contain an element of elegance.

Good people get worn away when working for a bad company as in the story below.

As a business owner, I know that having good credit is very important for many reasons. For example, using automatic payment ensures I am never late for a payment. A company I did business with changed credit card companies making it necessary to call all the vendors to replace the card. This firm experiences many problems with their systems. They are trying to mitigate that by hiring good customer service people. However, no matter how good or how new, a customer service staff can only stay positive when dealing with legitimate complaints. Not ones stemming from receiving a call from a company saying a payment was rejected because they did not have the credit card.

I spoke four times to different representatives about this very situation. They apologize because they have the new card in the system but are uncertain of the problem. You can hear their frustration (forget about mine!).  How can a company keep good people when the system works against them? How can the reps  keep a cheery voice and attitude when the problem keeps recurring? That’s what wears them out, I suspect.

Clients who are on the road 24/7 and continue to look great usually use these tools along with one key strategy. The tools include:

• A full length mirror in their bedroom or dressing room
• Good lighting
• A portable clothing rack
• A suitcase packed with toiletries that are replaced regularly when supplies get low
• A portable umbrella
• Several zip lock plastic bags in several sizes and some rubber bands

The strategy is that on Sunday pull out the portable clothing rack and begin to assemble the wardrobe, including shoes and accessories, for the whole week…just like if you were going to pack a suitcase for travel. If you are getting ready to travel, pull items that you can coordinate around three colors. Also, pack one backup outfit for emergency or unplanned events. If you follow these guidelines, you will be prepared for all situations and for meetings in and outside of the office.

Some folks possess a blind spot. They feel that no one else can do their job so they walk around entitled. Everyone is replaceable. They key is to ensure that your replacement helps you move to the next level of your career. At a recent networking event, the person next to me lamented that she was not advancing in her career. She claimed the reason was that only she could do her job. In continuing the conversation, it came up that she had not thought about getting others involved in learning her responsibilities to groom a possible successor.

This caused me to remember a conversation with a YMCA board member. I chaired a fundraiser that was the most successful in raising money. The first thing I did was bring in a successor to chair it the next year. I pass this advice along to all my executives: Real success is finding your replacement because it frees you up for consideration for the next leadership role.

In the US, the presidential elections have thrown conversations and accusations down the rabbit hole where actual issues get more personal than policy driven. It seems that in our politics today, honesty is clouded. Name calling then becomes the narrative.

In the workplace, sometimes actual issues are skirted around to avoid offending others. The worst thing that can occur is when real issues never get resolved. The elephant in the room gets larger and looms over not what is said, but what is inferred. It is important to dialog honestly without resorting to gutter-speak.

This lesson can be applied to my role. When coaching clients who have not been told or have not truly heard the critical issues holding them back, it is important to get to the heart of the subject. My job is to ask questions that help the client realize what it takes to be successful. For that to occur, they must be honest with themselves. That allows for graceful conversations.

Recently, when working with a client in refreshing her wardrobe, we realized that the jewelry that worked a few years ago needed to be replaced with more statement pieces for a couple of reasons. She was recently promoted to a senior vice president role and the office went to a more casual environment.

So now, for her, professional casual is more fitting. She also travels internationally. In upgrading necklaces and earrings choosing the right proportion of each is critical. Increasing the size of the stones by one half and wearing a more intense color will add the impact needed to create the elegant, smart, professional casual look.

Recently I have decided to give some of my beautiful suits away. I used to wear suits on a regular basis before slowly moving to business casual, really a more really professional casual.

When presenting to groups, I still wear a suit but it’s a much more relaxed version, containing no dark colors and in some cases, I like a mix and match (With the jacket as more of a companion color to the pants or slacks).

I’ve discovered that the most difficult part is giving away wonderful suits that have helped my business. I remember at an event, a colleague told me that I always look like a major company CEO. This proved to be very important when meeting with staff from Fortune 500 companies.

Now these suits must go to a worthy cause to women to help them in their work world. The guidelines below have helped me feel good about giving these friends away:

1. Keep one to three key suits to wear for presentations and pair them with all the companion pieces (shirts, ties, etc.).
2. Put the clothing in a plastic clear bag – marking the date. If you have not worn the clothes in one year, donate them.
3. Once you touch the item and bag it, do not touch it again.
4. Always try the item on before making any decisions. It is too romantic if you don’t. Old memories can cloud reality.

As a firm believer in taking deep breaths to calm myself, I know it can sound trite when you’re told to breathe in difficult situations. A recent article in the New York Times business section by Phyllis Korkki showcased an interview on Belisa Vranich, a clinical psychologist who re-teaches people to breathe. The correct way is to breathe horizontally and from the middle of the body. Expanding your belly while inhaling through your nose and squeeze your belly inward while exhaling. This will help you move through difficult situations and also open more space for creativity.