The phone interview for some folks is less nerve racking than a personal talk. However, it might be harder to stay focused because you do not have a face to engage the interviewer. Keep centered by having your talking points in front of you. Make sure you are not distracted. Really listening to the tone of the voice and questions on the other end will the keep interaction strong and help you respond appropriately. 90 percent of my engagements come from conference call interviews. I always pause to give the interviewer time to respond. I also clarify by saying- this is what I hear you are saying. In addition, I always follow-up by proposing a day and time to reconnect.

There are folks in this world who like to throw you off with the “gotcha” question or comment. It comes out of the blue and the purpose is to show power. The way to protect yourself is to ask questions to help you get grounded without sounding defensive.

A gotcha moment happened to me recently and I was totally unprepared. Now, I would begin the conversation by asking the question – can you clarify this for me? This would have not only have helped me stay grounded but it would have added balance to the discussion. Putting this tool in place creates a win for you as well as a strong show of confidence.

In Adam Bryant’s new book “Quick and Nimble”, he uses anecdotes and strategies gathered from American CEO’s about how they help managers get better by teaching them how to be good coaches. Good coaches give honest feedback and help those who they coach create a vision so they can grow.

One challenge for managers is giving honest feedback in an inclusive manner. Using the three to one rule is critical. In this type of feedback, talk about three skills they do well along with one area they might want to strengthen and why. In the book, what most coaching CEO’s then did was to occasionally check back to offer support because change is difficult but it can be achieved with consistent support.

At a recent presentation I noticed some folks in the audience who appeared to lack any emotions as they usually are revealed from facial expressions and body language. A colleague even asked, “Don’t they look like card board cutouts?” Being engaged, whether in a meeting or in an audience, is a critical element of leadership presence.

Don’t be the folks who:

– Maintain a poker face

– Stiffly cross their arms

– Constantly look around the room and never at the presenter

Instead, be the folks who:

– Show they are listening by the engaging their eyes

– Move their body toward the presenter

– Ask questions when appropriate

– Validate the speaker by providing positive comments

Often, talented folks make the mistake of speaking in a voice and using words that are not natural to them. This becomes noticeable when they are asked to explain what they said and they get tangled up in explaining what they mean.

The late Tim Russet of Meet the Press once said that he always knew that if his father understood what he was saying then he was speaking in his own voice and words. His comments would also resonate with the rest of his audience.

To ensure you are speaking in your own voice, begin to practice with folks who don’t know your subject. If they understand your explanation, then you are speaking in your own voice.

In last Sunday’s New York Times there was a piece by the Ethicist: Why is it important to treat people how they want to be treated versus treating them the way you would want to be treated?

It all comes down to understanding communication styles. So many times, messages are not received because folks resist adapting to a way of communicating that is different than their own.

The Platinum Rule, which is to treat others the way they want to be treated, is critical to win/win communications. I realized this a few years ago in communicating with my sisters. Once I understood their communication preference, I found it much easier to have a dialog under stressful situations. Visit www.personalimagesinc.com to learn more about the Platinum Rule.

In stressful times, when projects do not go smoothly, someone may get thrown under the bus. If you happen to be this person, here are some critical tips to ensure that it does not turn fatal:

1. Stay calm

2. Do not interrupt when being spoken to

3. Ask questions to get details to either deflect blame or fault the situation

4. Accept responsibility

5. Offer solutions to fix the problem or make sure it never happens again

Sometimes, folks who tend to want the work they do to be perfect, say no too quickly. What happens then is that others stop asking them to take on special projects which, if taken, may help advance their careers.

You can say yes to reviewing the project; say you will think about it and get back to them. If you do turn it down, let them know that you still want to be considered for future projects. Keeping the communications flowing is the key to your career. Never give an instant no, say you will think about it.

In a perfect world, we would not have conflicts and would always along with each other. Unfortunately, there are still a few difficult people that we either try to win over or think we can change them. The reality is that folks are who they are.

So what happens when we try to deal with them? The folks who are successful have a laser focus on getting what communication goal they have, accomplished. Geoffrey Tumlin’s new book “Communicating,” offers these three tips in dealing with difficult people:

• Let go, focus on strategy and let difficult people be difficult.

• Keep your expectations low; remember that you are dealing with a painful person.

• Accomplish what you need to do quickly.

Another recommendation is to avoid the dance where they insult you, you ignore it and go on working. For example, if the person says that this is sloppy work. You can come back with: Sorry to have disappointed you; I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Use these tips and you will be able to accomplish your goals with minimal bloodshed.

In the Chicago Tribune, Sunday, September 8th business section, Edward Trullman (Chairman of Tribeca Flashpoint Media Arts Academy in Chicago) wrote about five ways to make the most of Demo Day. Demo Day is when folks get to pitch for business funding to Venture capitalists.

The five ways can help ensure a participant will hit it out of the ball park when s/he makes a pitch. They are also exactly what we work on with clients who are either interviewing for the next position or seeking to sell a project.

1. Be short, sweet and grab the audience early – know your story.

2. One template does not fit all – you may have tell your story in different ways.

3. Don’t let the way you dress be a distraction – this also goes for hair and grooming. Leave the green nail polish for clubbing and guys, trim the beard. No reading glasses – purchase progressive ones.

4. Stay away from case studies. Start with results – leave the details for later discussion.

5. Name your supporters – In Tullman’s piece, he talks about naming investors. Familiarity is critical especially because the folks you are pitching to want to a way to connect with you. Everyone wants to play with a winner.

If you have a chance watch Shark Tank on Friday nights. You will see that the folks who get one or two of the sharks to invest embrace these points.