Social media has a life of its own. It is worse than gossip and can haunt those who traffic in it and anyone around them. Facebook and Twitter are platforms to express news and instant emotional reactions, good and bad.
People have even gotten fired for being caught up in loose comments made in the news by high powered folks. They thought if it was ok by those folks, then they could say it too. However, the reality is that some have power and freedom without repercussions and others face the wrath. If something is that important for you to express it in writing, write the words to yourself first and decide the way you want to handle it the next day.

I was recently reminded of a time I was asked to be the lead speaker at a memorial by my sister for her husband. Later, a friend mentioned how she enjoyed her husband’s service. The friend liked how each person who spoke shared a thoughtful insight and in some cases, a humorous story about her husband.

What is important in a memorial service is that the individual is brought to life in a unique way through the folks speaking. Make sure that speakers are given a brief guideline prior to speaking. Serving as a lead speaker at a memorial service is an honor. It is also a responsibility to the family to help coordinate the service.

Recently, a well-known prime time news anchor tried to validate a point with a spokesperson by asking a question about a lie from the spokesperson’s team that appeared on the news. This anchor is known for integrity and has a knack for handling sensitive subjects with the guests on the show.

The spokesperson was a shark, a fast talker employing a high spin level skill at making observations and details sound like facts. The anchor, unfortunately, did not respond well even though he the truth was behind the question.

What I would recommend, is to ask the questions at least three times. Then, instead of doing the cha-cha with the guest, end the conversation on a high note by letting the other person to wallow in their own comments. Don’t swim with the sharks unless you possess some shark skills of your own!

As a firm believer in taking deep breaths to calm myself, I know it can sound trite when you’re told to breathe in difficult situations. A recent article in the New York Times business section by Phyllis Korkki showcased an interview on Belisa Vranich, a clinical psychologist who re-teaches people to breathe. The correct way is to breathe horizontally and from the middle of the body. Expanding your belly while inhaling through your nose and squeeze your belly inward while exhaling. This will help you move through difficult situations and also open more space for creativity.

Expressing passion when speaking about your subject is an important way to connect to your audience. The key is to control the volume of your voice. It is easy to mistake yelling for passion. Practice by audio and videotaping your presentations. This helps determine when and where the voice needs to change to reflect the key moments in the speech. When a voice raises in sound, it projects a different feeling than yelling does. Use one to three fingers on your throat to gauge when your voice goes too high or low. You can raise or lower your voice to make a point and determine the most effective tone based on the audience size and speech content.

In group presentations, the key is to provide what the audience needs. Sounds simple, but is it really? In a recent meeting with a client, we worked on major areas to master when giving a group presentation. One, the answer to the question being asked should be backed with common sense, stats if possible and some context or history around it.

Secondly, the answer must flow in the overall presentation, whether it is to present a situation or provide forecasts for the group or organization.

Lastly and most importantly, the presenter must truly believe in it. Using these three simple rules means a 90% chance for a successful experience.

Connect with the interviewer – do your research on the company, position, and industry. Know their competition, their strengths and what make their employees happy. This helps you generate impactful questions, letting the interviewer know you understand their opportunities and challenges.

Be able to talk about yourself – prevent an interrogation by the interviewer. Practice talking about yourself with a friend. Video a mock interview of yourself to see how you can strengthen your presence. When you do, be prepared to see a different person on the video than the one you think you are.

Be memorable – follow up professionally even if you are not offered the position. You got your foot in the door this time. Make sure they think of you next time.

There have been many books and articles about what makes a great speaker. Politicians, especially during an election year, are great examples of passion versus script. The folks that get up in front of you who truly believe in what they are speaking about, bring us into their world. We feel their commitment and beliefs. The folks who are scripted never really hook us into their ideas. They may have more substance and experience but unfortunately, they may struggle to attract followers or win elections by relying solely on script instead of passion.

Recently in a class, the instructor said: I don’t mean to be so direct and abrupt in giving feedback but it is because I want to catch the moment when the correction is made. Well, as good as that sounds, if you are a seasoned professional or just starting out as a coach, mentor or instructor you will go a long way if you using inclusivity in your feedback. Instead of saying something like “It is definitely the wrong approach”, you might say: “A different approach might work like this…”

When you are demeaned, it erects a wall of defense and emotional turmoil gets in the way of what might be a learning experience. Years ago, I learned from a top producer who was quite mean while training me. Did I get it, I sure did. But the scars remain and whenever someone reminds me of her, I run in the opposite direction!

Rambling confuses the listener and damages speaker credibility. Whether you’re addressing an audience of one or one thousand, determine what you want them to leave with. How clear is your message? Is it relevant to the situation? I have always been fascinated with political debates. I like observing if a candidate responds with clarity and conveys a strong message to any question that is asked.