During the pandemic, it is proper etiquette to politely refuse an invitation if masks will not be worn. Ask the hosts before the event if individuals will be required to wear a mask. If masks are not required, there is no need to say you will not be attending due to the lack of masks. Politely state that you will not be able to attend. If they ask why, it is your personal decision whether to let them know why you will not be attending. It is important to respect others and respect how one feels about the wearing of masks.

In the middle of a global pandemic, new etiquette rules must be considered. One must be aware of local guidelines as to the number of people allowed at gatherings (currently fifty people or fewer in Illinois). Always indicate on the invitation that wearing masks and social distancing should be honored by attendees. This means a mask is required and attendees must stay six feet apart. Offer masks to those who attend without a mask and indicate, in a non-confrontational manner, that masks must be worn. If someone chooses to not wear a mask, let them know it is for their safety and the safety of others and they will not be able to participate without a mask.

The individuals who consistently are well liked and respected are the ones who always greet those around them with a smile. Recently, I attended a family function with a combination of two different families. Members of the families did not know each other. One of the couples arrived and did not say hello because they were in the midst of a disagreement with a member of the other family. What does that say about the first impression they made on people they did not know—or even on people who knew them well? It took the group nearly two days to warm up to each other. If the couple had walked in, said hello, and stopped for a few minutes to chat, everyone may have warmed up more quickly and been more comfortable.

Whether attending a business social event or just a personal social event, there are some key rules to follow in order to be a gracious guest:

Promptly let the host know whether you are attending the event or not (RSVP).

Let the host know if you are going to be late.

Make the host aware ahead of time if there are certain food allergies or food requirements (ex. vegan or vegetarian) of which they should be aware. (Depending on the situation and event, the host may or may not be able to accommodate food requests.)

Send a thank you gift or note within a week after attending the event.

A loss, whether the death of a family member or loss of a job, is difficult for everyone involved. Most desire to give comfort. That could mean not saying anything but instead giving a hug (if you are close). Other words are I am sorry for your loss or for this difficult time. Never give the impression you understand what they are going through because you are not them. Offer your comfort simply and with empathy.

Good conversations while dining with a client are important in forging relationships. The main folks to focus on are the individuals to the right and left of you. If the noise level is low, include both parties in the discussion.

Refrain from conversing to someone directly across the table especially if the table sits ten. The rule is to never discuss religion, politics or intimate personal issues. If asked about any of these subjects, it is best to deflect and begin a new topic and always err on the inclusive side.

Always be aware of others in dining situations and eat at a pace the same as most of the diners. As a host, set a good example. Be the last to order and first to make suggestions.

At a recent event, some folks finished early and the waiter was sensitive enough not to take their dishes away. It is up to the person at the table to manage the flow of plates. If everyone is finished and you are not, instruct the waiter to take your plate away. Understanding these nuances will make more time for meaningful conversations.

Recently, I was with a group of professional men and women. One of the women turned to me and asked how I knew so much about sports, the stock market, etc. Being fortunate enough to have clients in several sectors, including the automobile industry, I found that small talk is critical to forging relationships.

Talking about diets, weight gain, or the latest color unless it is for a uniform project, would not be of interest. Not now or ever, in fact, due to the volatile political climate, is politics considered small talk.

At a recent social function, my phone was being passed around to show a picture recently taken of the group. A person in the photo had possession of the phone and decided to email the picture out.

The only one allowed to send pictures out is the person who owns the phone or the one s / he gives permission to perform that function. With the unpredictability of social media today and the lack of privacy, releasing a picture should have the permission of everyone in it prior to sending it out or posting the photo on Facebook.

A potential landmine during the season of cheer is the company or client holiday party. This is a time meant to build relationships not destroy or put them on life support.

It is a time not to drink or talk too much. Always remember to smile and refrain from discussing politics or religion. Avoid pouring your heart out or telling secrets to your boss or a colleague. Just build relationships.