1. Not having several personal introductions

2. Not having an ice breaker to start the conversation

3. Not having a business card

4. Not mixing with more than one group (or staying too long in conversation with one group)

5. Not listening enough (non-stop talking)

6. Not asking how, when and why questions

7. Not having a good time (projecting a look that reflects stomach pain might be occurring)

8. Not smiling (instead, wearing a more a grim facial expression)

9. Not making eye contact or looking around the room more than at a conversation partner

10. Not having a crisp handshake

Take away the nots and you can be a star at networking. The process will also become more fun.

There is always room for improving processes that go into making a great project. Not long ago, I worked on a project that a few years later would be upgraded. When being reworked, the new team began to tell me all the processes that did not work in in the first iteration. I never said anything even though I worked on the first effort which came out well. I thought, things change and nothing really needed to be said about the prior project. Change happens, handle it with grace.

Working with a client to help him strengthen how he communicated with senior management, we decided to have another member of his firm sit in to give some feedback. Every time we started, his colleague interrupted to share his point of view how my client could do it better.

This went on for about 40 minutes when I finally asked all feedback be given after the taping was over. The rules were that he could only use this phrase “This is how you can strengthen” not, “This is not the way to do it”.

The reality is that when you are inclusive, it empowers the person being coached. It does not take them down. Empowering boosts confidence and confidence encourages folks to try new methods of action and thought.

It is often said that our eyes are the window to the world. They are also are how folks read you. Eye contact is critical when first meeting someone because it shows engagement and that you are focused on what they are saying. It also will help you remember names and something about them.

Eyes, when looking down, up, to the right or to the left, do not send a good message. In some cases, it shows nervousness and even deception in a reply.

The most important asset of your body language is the facial expression. So many times I have been asked to work with clients who have a poker face. The reason the poker face is such a negative part of body language, is that it puts up a wall to communicating. People cannot read or connect with you when there is no expression on your face. When there is a lack of emotions, there is no communications. A true leader must be able to communicate.

Recently, I was out with folks who like to have a cocktail and wine with their meals. Since for me, one glass of wine is more than enough for an evening, I usually order a club soda with a lime. I will order that glass of wine with my meal if everyone is having one.

It would be the same for a business event. For hosts, I recommend no more than two glasses of wine with one cocktail. Liquor can loosen one’s tongue which can lead to revealing things that would be better left unsaid.

It is important to tip the appropriate percentage of the full price of the service. With so many specials for massages, facials and food at discounted prices, the person providing the service still needs be paid a gratuity as if the item was full price. This also means that if you are treated by the owner of a restaurant, offer a proper token of your appreciation.

I feel strongly that it is important to show thanks to those who serve us. In some cases, it is a monetary gift for the mail person, the person who delivers your paper or the hair designer. For other folks that help you manage your business, it can be fruit or candy.

For my business clients who have families, Harry and David’s pears are always a hit. For travelers, a book on exotic places or the latest tome about leadership continue to be favorites. And for some, a hand signed holiday card with a note of thanks is always appreciated. Whatever method you select, giving thanks shows you care.

Task persons are individuals who are great at getting the job done. The areas where they need to pay attention are being more sensitive to the nuances of building relationships such as developing small talk as well as appropriate facial expressions and body language. These silent messages are critical to understanding and connecting to people.

Then, there are the people persons who are great at building relationships and connecting to the audience. Those folks never lack in the area of people skills but lack the skills to get the job done.

To help fully develop skills spend time with and observe those who are the opposite of you. You will learn to pick the skills you need to grow in a very balanced way.

Often, I am asked to work with folks who tend to ramble and say more than they should. The more they ramble, the less impact their message has.

A great example of this occurred today. A top candidate for a new role in a new company kept going on and on. I even interviewed him the day before and mentioned to him that he tends to go on too long, rambles and talks in circles.

He is a very qualified candidate and frankly, is the candidate of choice. In the interview, he was told what held him back was his rambling. The advice we gave him was to answer a question with a five or ten word description and then stop. Rambling indicates nervousness, lack of confidence and even a possible lack of knowledge.

If you tend to ramble, it is because you have not practiced your answers. A good way to practice is to write the answer on paper and edit it with three bullet points. This will definitely help curb your rambling.