When you avoid the elephant in the room, it consumes the air, leaving no room to breathe. Always begin the conversation when everyone feels safe. Obtain the permission of the others to listen to what you have to say. Give them the option to ask questions after you have finished speaking. Never be hostile or confrontational. Listen when they are finished. Thank them for sharing, then ask questions to ensure clarity.

Always begin with the end result or what it is that you want the audience of one or hundreds to walk away with. Is it an action item? Do you want to change an opinion or just ask them to consider your topic? Support your speech with relevant facts that resonate and always know what the audience wants from you. Think of the end result as a headline for the opening statement. Then, like an article, discuss the details that validate your theme. Once you begin to speak using this outline, your listeners will buy into your point.

Many companies go through changes which may mean laid off co-workers or staff with changed assignments which can leave long-term team members anxious. The best thing to do is to wish them well. Let them know how much you have enjoyed working together and if you are close to the person, give contact permission. Always maintain a positive dialog. Someday, it could be you who is affected by company changes.

The essential element of being a good boss is leadership including mentoring, keeping your word, showing empathy, using good listening skills and continuing to show appreciation for good outcomes. Good bosses stand for the success of their employees and work diligently to ensure opportunities emerge for them to shine including exposure to senior leaders. Good managers also put employees into situations to help develop interpersonal and communication skills.

It would be ideal to never be saddled with a bad boss. The type of manager who never appreciates what you do, who overloads you with unreasonable expectations and timelines and who sends you numerous emails late at night. This kind of leader can be brilliant, maybe even another version of a Steve Jobs, which is where value can shine through the craziness. You could be exposed to situations that provide insights into moments of high achievement.

As an example, when I was in sales, the owner was very demanding. However, as painful as it sometimes was, the skills I developed dealing with him helped turn me into a top sales person and trainer in less than two years, in a position I went on to hold for ten years. Even today, after twenty-five years, I still use many of those sales tools to procure and retain business.

Questions I always ask are what is your expertise? What defines your brand? What experiences created the confidence that makes senior leaders say you are an expert in a field? Begin a list of how you have led a team to success including how the outcome delivered a positive, long-term result for your company. Start with words from those you have mentored or helped in a specific situation. Keep a journal of them. This will help you define and flesh out your brand.

Rambling confuses the listener and damages speaker credibility. Whether you’re addressing an audience of one or one thousand, determine what you want them to leave with. How clear is your message? Is it relevant to the situation? I have always been fascinated with political debates. I like observing if a candidate responds with clarity and conveys a strong message to any question that is asked.

Lesa Frances Kennedy, CEO of the International Speedway Corporation and Vice Chairwoman of NASCAR, answered the question: How do you hire?

“First impressions are so important in terms of fitting in on the team. The moment you walk in the door; you’re being observed. You may not know that, and it’s not anything formal, but I’ll get feedback. You read the body language of some of the people they’ve met, like a receptionist, and you can pick up very subtle cues about how they felt about that person. Was the person respectful?”

As you read this quote from the NYT Corner Office, Sunday, October 25th, consider the first impressions you create no matter who you meet. Does your first impression project confidence and approachability? Are you someone they want work with in the best of times as well as when problems arise?

It has been proven time and time again that a team needs to consist of people with different communication styles all pursuing the same goal. When a team has communication styles that are too similar, diversity in thought seldom occurs, which limits other points of view.

Recently, a team I was working with had no issues with problem solving because they had both people and task orientated members. The people orientated ones understood how their message could play out if the emotional piece of the communication didn’t factor into the conversation. The task oriented folks understood the timelines critical to the success of the product launch. It’s no wonder that team has been rated as the most effective team in the organization!

Beth Comstock made history by being GE’s first female vice chair. One piece of advice given to her by Jeff Emmelt early in her career was to ask:  “Why aren’t you speaking up and voicing your opinion? It doesn’t do you or the company any good when you don’t.”

Beth is quoted in the article admitting a struggle with self-confidence. In working with clients, I have found that this is one of the main reasons people are not promoted or perceived as confident. Women have a bigger challenge because they seem to think that their opinion has to be right on target before they speak. Not so, because an opinion, even when not completely accepted, might start a path to a solution. Speaking up helps your audience to get to know you just as presenting your message is critical in being seen as a leader.