I encouraged a client to go on a high profile interview because the more he received exposure to leaders, the better the opportunities might be for him in the future. (The old saying who you know has been long been replaced by who knows you!) Often, folks miss opportunities because they lack confidence or are afraid of interviewing. Practice is good, however exposure and practice is much more effective in building confidence so that when the opportunity arises, you’re ready!

For women who fervently oppose makeup, try tinted moisturizer (We all need moisturizer.), a well-defined eyebrow and a bit of color on the lips and check. Burt’s Bees is one of many brands that offer a lip stain combined with a chap stick. Women’s lips never should look dry.

For men, even those who prefer a shadow beard, the rest of the face must be well groomed, with trimmed eye brows and no other facial hair out of place. It is amazing how popular men’s products for the face, moisturizers and exfoliates currently are. Also, instead of the heavy colognes of yesterday, light fragrances are the rule now.

We live in such a fast paced environment that we quickly try to get the heart of an issue. Unfortunately, we sometimes do this by jumping ahead and thinking about what to say instead of focusing on what is being said. If we all listen to the intent of what is being said, we will have a better understanding on how to develop solutions to problems. Seek to understand, then to be understood.

Recently, a politician attempted to rationalize the lack of a decision on a certain issue concerning a policy that the powers (White House) made. The way it was being explained was so terrible that the audience, including me and all the news media, both conservatives and liberals, did not believe it. His explantion made no sense. This lesson is this: First, make your point, second, explain the details and finally, reconfirm the point.

Recently, I had a service person come in (happened to be the owner) who began to tell me what I had done wrong instead of saying there may be a problem but we will do our best to fix it. Can you imagine a consultant or coach like myself right off the bat, telling a client that s/he has tremendous problems? Or you, as a new team leader or team member telling the group: We have problems we cannot begin to solve?

I am not saying that we need to be a Pollyanna but can’t anything somehow be made better? I understand the owner might have been under tremendous pressure but if he doesn’t work for repeat customers, that pressure may just get a lot bigger and lead to more serious problems.

Ben Wechsler writes a newsletter on success and has developed The Wechsler Leadership Program, Creative Problem Solving, and Strategy & Innovation. I recently interviewed him on what experiences led him to develop his coaching and leadership tenets.
Besides Ben being certified in all the above areas, he used his thirty years of technology and life experiences to craft the programs.

What I found refreshing, because, often we don’t appreciate our own steps towards achievement, is that he feels completing one goal can be a significant success. Sometimes, we expect to be the next Steve Jobs or the Oprah’s of the world which can be so defeating. He firmly believes success is when you achieve any measureable goal. Benhttp://benwechsler.com/success-network-how-aware-are-you-of-your-own-success.

Amy Wilkinson is a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the author of The Creator’s Code. Amy’s two years of research can be found in the book. It turns out that leadership has nothing to do with age and more to do with mindset, skills and psychographics.

Successful leaders share the ability to:

1. Spot gaps in the market place
2. Maintain a long term vision
3. Iterate quickly
4. Fail smartly
5. Collaborate
6. Be generous

Folks with these skills tend to be revolutionary and attract people to work with them. They have the ability to cultivate, encourage and harness conflict. These leaders are not afraid of the unknown and constantly find solutions. They keep asking questions and probe until the best way to move forward is discovered.

I recently attended a showcase where professionals shared their crafts and secrets to help their peers and colleagues grow in corporate careers and expand their learning. However, it was easy to spot the presenters who were only there to hawk their services. They provided surface content only. I firmly believe the folks who were truly sharing were passionate about their craft and wanted others to benefit. These folks are in my book and are leaders in their industry. What they give to others will result in them receiving it back 100+ percent along with heartfelt appreciation and respect.

Asking intrusive ones are definitely a relationship destroyer. Recently, a colleague lost his position through a major reorganization of his firm. He had been with the company for 30 plus years. It really was his whole life and, in fact, defined him.

Instead of peers helping him manage through this life-altering loss, all they could do was ask questions like, do you have enough funds to live on, what could you have done to prevent this and have you begun to think about the future?

However, the best question would have been, how can I help? He was basically in an unwanted divorce. The next time you have a friend going through a major change, don’t add to the pain by asking intrusive questions; instead, be a comfort.

Hitting the mark is the moment when what you have accomplished the task. It can be engaging the audience and seeing they understand your point. It can be as simple as getting a smile back when you have smiled. The point is to remember that sense of gratification when things don’t hit the mark. It will keep you going to reach that mark.

I work with many clients where I get that sense of gratification in our partnership when they get to a point where they see what needs to be done and embrace it. So many times we tend to look at the missteps as setbacks as instead of steps to get where we need to go. It is all a process. This is why I feel strongly about it. Keep that sense of gratification when you hit the mark of achievement and remember sometimes, it takes steps.