It would be great if everyone you met liked you. Our hope is that we are engaging enough that folks want to have a cup of coffee with us. The truth though, is that not everyone will be warm and friendly. Maybe they don’t really like you or could it be they don’t like anyone?

I remember many years ago I would be in situations with a group of people who had powerful positions in the business community who would never say hello or even start a casual conversation with me. I was always feeling dejected whenever in their company. Later, I found myself with well-known, successful business people at a social event and saw these folks act the same way with them! It then hit me like a light bulb that they may not like anyone. Now, I know not everyone will like me but they may not really like anyone. They are just not people oriented.

Joe Lacob, the majority owner of the Golden State Warriors, has worked in venture capital for three decades. This season, Lacob’s sixth as majority owner, the Warriors are on pace to break the league record of 72 wins in a season (which is just 82 games long). I’m a professional listener,” he told me. “There are a lot of smart people in the world, you know. I’m not the smartest. I’m just an integrator.” We can all learn from Joe Lacob.

How many times have you not been introduced when in a group? To overcome that and become visible is to introduce yourself. This helps the person who might have forgotten a name or two while simultaneously getting make you noticed. This is also how you become visible in a networking situation when meeting with new folks. Remember to add a smile before you even open your mouth, especially when riding on an elevator!

Recently in a class, the instructor said: I don’t mean to be so direct and abrupt in giving feedback but it is because I want to catch the moment when the correction is made. Well, as good as that sounds, if you are a seasoned professional or just starting out as a coach, mentor or instructor you will go a long way if you using inclusivity in your feedback. Instead of saying something like “It is definitely the wrong approach”, you might say: “A different approach might work like this…”

When you are demeaned, it erects a wall of defense and emotional turmoil gets in the way of what might be a learning experience. Years ago, I learned from a top producer who was quite mean while training me. Did I get it, I sure did. But the scars remain and whenever someone reminds me of her, I run in the opposite direction!

An interview occurs every time you are in front of someone and not just formally. In fact, most of the time interviews are informal which can be just as important. You should think of them as practice so that when you have a real interview the practice ends up paying off. Think this way so that when you are in the real deal, you will be natural and bring your best self to the table.

Probably close to 100% of the time, when you get the chance to interview, the interviewer has an idea about your background because someone already vetted you. Your role is to engage the interviewer so h/she can see you as a leader and a member of their team. In the interview process, your message is to share your experiences and say what you will bring to the table. Most of the time, when someone fails the interview, it’s because a relationship did not materialize or that the wrong kind of bonding occurred. Listening also plays a key part in making all interviews successful interactions.

Recently, I was asked why communication skills matter when you only have five minutes to meet with senior leaders to discuss a project. Quite frankly, when I was asked, I was taken aback. Five minutes is a long time— a lifetime in some arenas!

You want to make an impression that says I am the person you want  in your world. To do that, how you sound, look and speak is critical. Given that you look, dress and act the part, the next step is to determine what point you want to get across in your five minutes of exposure.

Consider something like this: “This project meets the needs of this research or… this project tells us what we need to do to move forward.”  Bring your best self to the table. When you can do this – it shows you are a leader.

• Look the part
• Be confident
• Know what you are going to say in one complete sentence. Then wait for a response

It is easy to get caught up in issues not related to team objectives. Often, in teams, we get caught up in differences of opinions between members. People then begin to separate because folks are taking sides. As the leader, you must stay out of the drama and let the parties involved resolve their differences. It is natural for team members to expect you to solve the problem, instead, insist they resolve it themselves. They may or may not come to a resolution but if they don’t, they may just agree to disagree which is fine.

It is easy to select peers for a team because they possess similarities to you in thoughts and in backgrounds. However, the most productive teams and best work situations are ones where everyone comes from different backgrounds and even processes information differently. For example, it’s good for those who like to socialize to team with task-driven folks. It encourages different points of view. Too many companies reorganize by numbers and by what appears good on paper instead of really communicating with all affected parties. Working with different thoughts from disparate viewpoints creates more dynamic and productive outcomes and that’s beneficial for all stakeholders.

In a recent New York Times article, the President of International Markets at MasterCard, Ann Carins, suggested that team chemistry was not about everyone being the same type but to ensure that every team member understands what each other brings to the table. If they can challenge each other, be respectful and maintain a safe environment, it will bring out the best in each of them as well as in the team results.

Many companies go through changes which may mean laid off co-workers or staff with changed assignments which can leave long-term team members anxious. The best thing to do is to wish them well. Let them know how much you have enjoyed working together and if you are close to the person, give contact permission. Always maintain a positive dialog. Someday, it could be you who is affected by company changes.