I just finished watching Roger Love onYouTube talking about how to eliminate “ahs and ums” when speaking. These fillers become annoying and distract the listener. My thoughts have always been to stop and breathe. Saying nothing is better than a constant stream of fillers.

These are Roger‘s recommendations:

• Use full sentences.

• Connect your words together.

• Only stop for commons and periods.

• Do not make a sound between sentences.

Honesty is the best policy to a certain point. We want to be able to trust each other in the work place but at the same time, white lies are almost a necessity.

Kenneth Murnighnan, a professor of risk management at Northwestern University was quoted in the Chicago Tribune article “Honesty also best policy” by Rex Huppke. Dr. Murnighnan says the workplace needs employees with enough “social graces” to tell white lies when necessary. He even suggests that leaders and managers want white lies. “Sometimes white lies are really helpful because they prevent people from stirring up trouble you don’t need.”

However, make sure you know when the truth is needed. Often, employees hit a wall in their professional career and are not promoted because they were not given a dose of reality early on. A good leader will be honest with employees about where they need to strengthen their soft skills and hopefully provide the tools and support to help them grow.

Honesty when appropriate is the best policy.

My father’s strong suit was never business but he had remarkable people skills. When he walked into a room, strangers would instantly be drawn to him. A true people person, my father, Suey, remembered names, family stories and some detail he could use to start a personal conversation.

Being a sole proprietor can be a lonely existence sometimes. He compensated for this by being active in the Rotary, American Legion, Kiwanis and in the Chinese-American Community.

These are the critical people skills that I learned from this wonderful man:

– Always be the first to greet someone, never wait for him/her to come to you.

– Establish eye contact instantly.

– Never be stingy with smiles. Make them great and flash them often.

– Always repeat a name. This helps ensure it’s pronounced correctly and that it stays in memory.

– Take on responsibilities in organizations. It’s a great way to meet folks and become engaged.

Today, when I am in a room full of strangers and especially when I am going to present, I try and introduce myself to as many people as possible.

When I greet someone, I remember my father because it brings a smile to my face which helps me be fully present with that person.

In today’s world of social media sites like Facebook, LinkedIn and Spoke to name a few, your photo should be appropriate to the site. LinkedIn and Spoke are business networking sites while Facebook is a social one unless you have a professional page like I do. My photo on Linkedin is not the same one I use on my personal Facebook page. My photo on Amazon as an author is also different.

The life of your photograph is best served with different clothing choices and in some cases even a different pose. The reason for this is that your audience is usually different for each site. The purpose of your photo is to connect to the viewer and give them a sense about you. So, wearing a very casual outfit will be fine for your personal Facebook page but not for your LinkedIn profile.

If someone has asked not to have you assigned to them, it is best to go along with it. However, some think that finding out what your detractors say is critical to professional growth. If that’s the case in your situation, ask your manager to find out what the issue is and share the feedback with you.

You can also address the issue yourself but that can be a little tricky. You have to go into it with a very open, non-threatening, non-judgmental spirit. And even then, the person may not want to speak with you face to face about it.

Folks assigned to work on teams may not always be a good fit. An example of this is dealing with a team member who has a reputation of not working well with others. There are two ways to handle it. (Use the method that best suits the culture of your organization.)

One way is for the team leader to have a one on one conversation with this individual about shared expectations and what is the best for the team and organization. The second way is to have a team meeting with an open dialog on the key elements of impactful communications. Outline acceptable methods of how to handle any potential conflict and decide on the best way to agree to disagree.

The most important thing is ensure the team is successful as a group.

When Samantha takes a walk, she always starts full of the potential excitement of her adventure. Her head is held high and her gaze is straight ahead, eyes shining with great anticipation about what she might see. For those of you who know, Samantha is my bison (you can see her picture on the far upper right corner).

Wouldn’t it be great if each time you walked into a room, you had the good anticipatory feeling of exploring something new? It projects in your body, facial expressions and even your walk. It is the aura of confidence and creates a wonderful first impression.

The charm of Facebook is that it helps folks express themselves and engage those with like minds. It can also provide some self-insight:

Dos

• Talk about only positive experiences

• Select profile photos that have a professional, casual, friendly look

• Post pictures that involve others only if you have permission to use them

Don’ts

• Never write anything off-color

• Never post any pictures that are risqué

• Never say anything negative about a product or person

You always want to present positive vibes because what you post has a long internet life. Following these few simple guidelines will help ensure that your Facebook posts will only enhance your image.

Face to face networking is still critical. It helps one get to know about people and people get to know you. It also helps you learn about different industries and who the key decision makers are.

Here are a few tips to ensure you have fun networking while appearing confident, relaxed and engaging.

1. Do research on the event including who is going to be there and the background of the event.

2. Bring a friend with you. Introducing someone helps get you going and plus they can introduce you.

3. Dress for the occasion – slightly underdressing is better than over dressing.

4. Wear comfortable shoes.

5. Eat before the event so you will not be starving. Anyway, it is not about the food.

6. Prepare a personal introduction and an easy ice breaker.

7. Always go up to a group. Never wait till someone comes to you

Keep these tips in mind and you will have a good networking event. Instead of surviving you will be thriving.

Wouldn’t it be great if you aced every interview and every person you met liked you instantly? This thinking reminds of when I was in sales. We were told to picture 10 deals. Out of that there would be 2 deals you would always get and 2 you would never get.

However, if you focus on the 2 deals you got, it has a tendency to bring your best. In fact, when you focus on the good, you will have a better than average chance of getting 80% of the 6 deals you have left. So forget about the rejections, focus on the situations that work. It makes rejection a non-issue.