Networking is critical for both personal and professional growth. Following these steps will help you build stable and strong connections:

• Begin with friends and family. Connect with those that have connections to what you need for work either for a new position or a skill you want to acquire.

• Be crystal clear on what you want and don’t want. Being vague will leave you empty handed. Also, it’s very important to have a succinct pitch on who you are and where your strengths lie.

• Be a valuable resource. In both giving and receiving, deliver what you commit to.

• Be a consistent networker face to face as well as on social media like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. Have a strategy and apply it consistently. Face to face networking can be done at least once a week and make social media a daily habit.

You must have fun with it. Folks want to be with those who have a positive attitude and are sincere. Look the part so they want to be seen with you. Follow these guidelines to begin a strong network or refresh the one you currently have.

The Chicago Tribune Career Builder mentioned these seven shortcomings that will definitely kill your chances of being promoted:

1. Procrastination that results in missing deadlines or using lame excuses like the computer crashed.

2. Having a sense of entitlement: The “company owes me” is a phrase I hear all the time.

3. Doing only what is required of your job conveys the dreaded “It’s not my job” attitude.

4. Staying in your own corner: Eating lunch alone and never joining in on office social events.

5. Not being a team player: Only looking out for yourself.

6. Looking like you are going to a party or a picnic: Too much business casual is a career killer.

7. Maintaining your contacts: Meeting someone once is not networking.

Our everyday actions have a long life span. And in today’s highly competitive work world, every action is critical.

Some of us like a very streamlined appearance when choosing clothes. We want the impact of tailored elegance.

To add interest and to keep from looking too stark, remember key accessories and a perfect fit. Stylish heels for women and high gloss leather shoes for men will finish the complete look.

Today, it appears that a majority of folks in the work world are unhappy but do not know what would make them happy at their job. For my clients with this concern, I ask that they begin a log with five columns.

A column that:

– Lists an activity they do

– Indicates if they like it and why

– Indicates if they don’t like it and why

– Suggests what would make the activity they do not like turn into one they would like

– Totals the number of likes and dislikes

At the end of two weeks, they need to review the log. The purpose of this activity is to determine a direction of what would make work a good fit or to help decide if it may be time to move out of their current role.

You may have heard the saying: It’s not what you know, it is who knows you. I believe the new mantra is just who knows you.

Often, when a job opening is posted the hiring powers may already have someone in mind. This person is the one they know about including what they stand for, their personal brand and work history of success.

So, I ask— Who knows you and how do you network to increase the number of people that do?

There are at least five vehicles of networking:

• Formal events once or twice a month

• Informal, meaning casual by chance, in the hallway, parking lot, the elevator, etc.

• Social Media such as LinkedIn, Facebook and Spoke to name a few

• Being published

• Having a leadership role in an industry or work-based organization

You must have your personal introduction and interesting areas of conversation to share at a formal networking event and be involved in three of the above five networking vehicles. Otherwise, no will know who you are.

In a recent New York Times business section, John W. Rogers Jr., Chairman, CEO & Chief Investment Officer of Ariel Investments, talks about the qualities of a good team player. One point he makes is how important being a good listener is.

In today’s busy world it is challenging to be a good listener. Practice when engaged in a conversation, especially a difficult one. Be aware of body language and word choices. Do not think ahead of the conversation. If you find your mind moving faster and jumping ahead, replay the conversation by saying: This is what I heard you say, is that right?

Also, if you are unsure about the intent of what is being said, ask clarifying questions like that. This will help ensure you are being a good listener.

In a recent workshop for folks who are transitioning from one position to another, it was apparent that they needed to become the CEO of their brand in their professional life.

A few questions you want to answer to ensure you are the managing your brand effectively include:

• Does your audience know what you represent?

• Does your audience want to get know you?

• Is your presence one that represents your brand?

• Can you explain the value of your product or service?

Answering these few questions will help ensure you are the CEO of your brand.

In Adam Bryant’s new book “Quick and Nimble”, he uses anecdotes and strategies gathered from American CEO’s about how they help managers get better by teaching them how to be good coaches. Good coaches give honest feedback and help those who they coach create a vision so they can grow.

One challenge for managers is giving honest feedback in an inclusive manner. Using the three to one rule is critical. In this type of feedback, talk about three skills they do well along with one area they might want to strengthen and why. In the book, what most coaching CEO’s then did was to occasionally check back to offer support because change is difficult but it can be achieved with consistent support.

At a recent presentation I noticed some folks in the audience who appeared to lack any emotions as they usually are revealed from facial expressions and body language. A colleague even asked, “Don’t they look like card board cutouts?” Being engaged, whether in a meeting or in an audience, is a critical element of leadership presence.

Don’t be the folks who:

– Maintain a poker face

– Stiffly cross their arms

– Constantly look around the room and never at the presenter

Instead, be the folks who:

– Show they are listening by the engaging their eyes

– Move their body toward the presenter

– Ask questions when appropriate

– Validate the speaker by providing positive comments

I recently purchased a four-CD set on “Be a No Limit Person”. What I found so inspiring and at the same time very challenging was how to be in control of oneself instead being defined by the environment. Oh, we can still complain about everything from the cold weather to the challenging economy. Beyond that, however, Wayne Dyer is saying to be optimistic and control your own well-being by having a positive attitude.

It is much easier to walk around with the gloom and doom attitude. It takes effort to self-talk into control of the outcome. Having a positive attitude will be better for your health and at the same time you will draw folks to you who want to be around you. If you continue to worry and predict the worst, it will happen.

You can purchase the CD at Amazon or go to You Tube to listen to Wayne Dyer on “Be a No Limit Person”.