The individuals who consistently are well liked and respected are the ones who always greet those around them with a smile. Recently, I attended a family function with a combination of two different families. Members of the families did not know each other. One of the couples arrived and did not say hello because they were in the midst of a disagreement with a member of the other family. What does that say about the first impression they made on people they did not know—or even on people who knew them well? It took the group nearly two days to warm up to each other. If the couple had walked in, said hello, and stopped for a few minutes to chat, everyone may have warmed up more quickly and been more comfortable.

Renewing excitement after holidays are behind us and the new year begins is challenging. I remembered when I read Stephen Covey’s or Tony Robbins’ daily reflections to help jump start the day.

Self-motivation works best when looking at the upside of life and being grateful for the things we have going for us. Always staying in a hard driving mode gets old after a while. We must break and take some time to enjoy what we have. The length of the break needed depends on what works best for each person.

Successful leaders bring people together especially when the issues are critical. The best leaders:

• Take the time to listen
• Stay open to possibilities
• Never gloat after a win
• Always give credit to others
• Strive for the win/win
• Tap into a team of advisors

Often, we must work with a person who takes up all the air in the room. With a larger than life personality this person can also be very fun to be with. If this individual is a group leader, sometimes, details and tasks never get addressed or completed.

Allow this person their moment and when there is a break in conversation, rejoin the discussion with the task in mind. Avoid trying to control this person but instead manage them. This happened at Thanksgiving with my larger than life youngest sister. Instead of trying to rein her in, I asked her to make the gravy and everything went back on track!

Holidays can be overwhelming with additional events added to an already full work and social life. Businesses rush to end the year on a good note, individuals work diligently to ensure all the festivities and related activities are completed.

Recently, a client who is a also a friend, took his wife away for a long weekend. I thought, what a great move. When they returned refreshed, they might find the holiday stress a bit easier to handle. So, take a pause, go away, and just chill to ease the stress.

For those who cannot get away, outsource gift giving. Amazon is great for gifts, especially if you include the gift wrap and delivery in the purchase. Harry and David, with their wonderful pears and other goodies also make gift giving a fun task, not a stressful one.

Truth will always matter. Once, during a television makeover show twenty years ago, the host asked me what I would never do. I replied that I would never lie to a client or audience. Truth can be told in a way that is not hurtful. For example, instead of saying that the suit looks awful, one might say it does not do the person justice.

In the second season of the television series, “The Sinner”, a young boy decides not to run away. He chose to face the consequences because lies eat away at integrity. And a very good friend and outstanding psychologist said, once integrity is gone, there is nothing left. Being truthful is not always easy but it is the right thing to do.

Each of us need to find a way to stay motivated and open for fresh ideas and strategies to apply to our work or personal life. These are the five things that continue work for me:

1. Finding the fun element in a task
2. Taking a break (can be an hour or a day)
3. Doing something totally unrelated to the project
4. Rewarding myself
5. Seeking outside resources

In working with a client experiencing high stress and in a no-win situation, it became clear that a time out was needed for some personal care, a massage in this case. We let all the parties involved know that we would come up with a solution at the end of the week.

The client had the authority and the funds to ask team members to take the day off and send in suggestions by email for the client to review for the Friday meeting. The client and all parties needed to take a break from their 24/7 work schedule to ensure the decisions were the best for the project. The project was successful and all parties felt empowered by the outcome.

Understanding cultural differences and similarities helps bridge communications. For example, I am a first-generation Chinese born and raised in Chicago and sometimes work with natural born Chinese (born in China) even though the individual may be in the US for an extended time.

We may look and even sound similar, but we think and communicate very differently. I am  direct, a distinctly US quality. Individuals from another culture may agree even though they disagree to save face. The main similarity is that we both want to succeed but get there in different manners. To connect and avoid a saving face situation, present a solution in a way that will achieve the main goal.

Volunteering is wonderful because it provides so many benefits to the volunteer and the organization.

For the volunteer, socialization, networking, teamwork, and in many cases, leadership development opportunities exist. The organization gets extra set of hands, another point of view, and awareness to others outside the organization.

I have benefited tremendously with my involvement with Toastmasters, AICI, the Chicago Minority Development Council, DuPage College, and the Graham Association for People with Disabilities. All help me in my work with corporations.