The individuals who consistently are well liked and respected are the ones who always greet those around them with a smile. Recently, I attended a family function with a combination of two different families. Members of the families did not know each other. One of the couples arrived and did not say hello because they were in the midst of a disagreement with a member of the other family. What does that say about the first impression they made on people they did not know—or even on people who knew them well? It took the group nearly two days to warm up to each other. If the couple had walked in, said hello, and stopped for a few minutes to chat, everyone may have warmed up more quickly and been more comfortable.

It’s always been who knows you not who you know. The who knows you is your capital in business as well as socially. Building deep relationships through regular contact is best. However, because of busy schedules, getting together for a cup of coffee is not always doable. Being involved in activities where natural connections are made through committee memberships or event participation works best.

Affiliations offer companionship, respect, and safety which is why folks belong and groups grow. The negative side is when groups become one voice of yes people.

We all want relationships that bring a foundation. Beyond that, how do we retain our individuality with integrity and honesty yet keep the group strong? It is a question, I often ponder. Hopefully, groups will keep this issue on the forefront and avoid groupthink and shutting out different voices.

Building relationships takes time with folks getting to know you from a professional side first. Second, you can interact virtually by speaking to their responses. Use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn to expand the knowledge circle. Each media has a distinct culture and purpose, making it important to match your information sharing goals. The main purpose is to get folks to know you and you to know them by sharing personal and professional sides of each other.

Volunteering is wonderful because it provides so many benefits to the volunteer and the organization.

For the volunteer, socialization, networking, teamwork, and in many cases, leadership development opportunities exist. The organization gets extra set of hands, another point of view, and awareness to others outside the organization.

I have benefited tremendously with my involvement with Toastmasters, AICI, the Chicago Minority Development Council, DuPage College, and the Graham Association for People with Disabilities. All help me in my work with corporations.

Always be aware of others in dining situations and eat at a pace the same as most of the diners. As a host, set a good example. Be the last to order and first to make suggestions.

At a recent event, some folks finished early and the waiter was sensitive enough not to take their dishes away. It is up to the person at the table to manage the flow of plates. If everyone is finished and you are not, instruct the waiter to take your plate away. Understanding these nuances will make more time for meaningful conversations.

Recently, I was with a group of professional men and women. One of the women turned to me and asked how I knew so much about sports, the stock market, etc. Being fortunate enough to have clients in several sectors, including the automobile industry, I found that small talk is critical to forging relationships.

Talking about diets, weight gain, or the latest color unless it is for a uniform project, would not be of interest. Not now or ever, in fact, due to the volatile political climate, is politics considered small talk.

Entertaining a client is a good way to continue to build a relationship. However, if not handled appropriately, the relationship may get damaged. To ensure it is an impactful and enjoyable event, follow these tips:

• Be respectful of the client’s time, let them choose a convenient time and date.
• Pick a dining location that is easy to get to.
• When extending the invite, share the purpose – a thank you or a catch up on a project.

These are guidelines I have used that have helped make entertaining a success for the client and myself.

Volunteering for a nonprofit charity or trade organization has many benefits. My experiences in the Association of Image Consultants (AICI) and Chicago Minority Diversity Suppliers Council to name a few, have been very valuable.

These groups gave me the opportunity to stretch my leadership skills while working in a group situation or leading a team. Serving on the boards for the Ray Graham Foundation for the Disabled also provided me with many experiences.

I gained skills in how to navigate media situations while collaborating with leadership. This has served me well when working with Fortune 500 organizations. Volunteering in your organization for projects is another smart way to gain leadership experience and exposure.

How do you get ready to mix and mingle especially if you are the shy type? The first rule, before you even step into the event, is to warm up your mouth along with your voice. Wear something you absolutely love, maybe a necklace or for a man, a favorite shirt.  Pick an event that has a fun happening, such as the opening of art gallery or art fair or an interactive cooking demonstration. Talk to the friendliest person in a group of three.