Facebook and Twitter are social media vehicles designed to help us communicate with others. They allow us to easily share information. However, what is posted is never lost plus it can have a tremendous reach to even millions of people.
 
So are these tools our friends or enemies? 

For example, take a recent court ruling reported in the Chicago Tribune by Ameet Sachev on October 1st “Judge backs car dealer that fired employee over Facebook post.”
 
For another example, see the Tribune story on October 9th which discussed that as many recruiters rely on Social Media tools  as they do “word of mouth” in candidate searches. 

Social Media can be a wonderful tool to promote yourself and your brand but it is definitely a balancing act. 

So be sure Social Media promotes your brand and rather than tarnishing it.

Paralanguage refers to non-verbal aspects of speech– specifically, tempo, intensity and pitch—because those characteristics dominate speaking performances.  A recent article in the Chicago Tribune talked about the presidential candidates and how their body language spoke volumes. Cited in the article were sociologists William Kalkhoff and Stan Gregory of Kent State University in Ohio who are studying paralanguage.
 
Our audiences, whether in front of a crowd or in an interview, remember us not only by what we say but how we say it.  As Kalkhoff said in the article, “There is a lot going on in these debates that’s occurring on a non-conscious level. The negotiation of power of and status in the “paraverbal” range is just a part of it.”

So, remember, your body language speaks louder than your words!

The one-upper is the person who is always one step ahead of you. They have tried every experience even before you bring it up. Resist being this person even if you have actually done the activity.

If you are being one-upped by someone, smile and let them have the air time. Those around you will admire you more than the know it all!

I recently had dinner with a group and was shocked at these dining don’ts I witnessed at the table:

• Flossing teeth
• Putting on lipstick
• Starting to eat before everyone is served
• Introducing sensitive political issues

Avoid these critical don’ts. That way everyone will want you as a guest at their table!

Often, we forget these rules when talking with new or even familiar acquaintances to make sure we keep them fully engaged in conversation.

Use these Six Golden Tips to ensure success:

1. Never assume; question and clarify
2. Listen with total focus
3. Say thank you quickly when you receive information
4. Think what has been said and process – avoid commenting
5. Respond effectively (be brief)
6. Follow-up in a few days (suggest a by-when date)

Having been delayed two hours plus at O’Hare I did a lot of people watching. It’s a great way to notice the good, bad and ugly. Today’s ugly is how folks sometimes eat.

Here are the four big uglies:

The Chomper: Chewing food with the mouth so wide open you can see the food being pulverized. It is not a pretty sight.

The Smelly: This is where the food aroma becomes a clinging odor that the clothes of the folks next to and three seats away from the eater will carry with them for the next several hours.

The Food Critic: This person needs to share with the world how good or how bad each bite tastes.

The Spiller: This person has spilled food on himself as well as on individuals in his immediate vicinity. This is because the food choice is meant to be eaten outside or behind closed doors. So, I understand that eating is a great way to cope with delayed flight frustration.

However, if you are going to eat in the waiting area don’t be one of the four uglies or at the very least if you are one, eat in a restaurant.

It is important to remember that in a critical situation, the customer is always right. Especially when the mistake is yours.

Recently, I was involved in a scenario where the client was right and the service company was wrong. After the service person validated it was an error on their part, they unfortunately continued grind about the situation. As a result, the issue got escalated to the point where this potential new client was definitely not coming back.

Here are some do’s and don’ts to ensure this does not happen to you.

Do’s
• Apologize immediately
• Offer a solution
• Present a way to atone in the future if there is no immediate solution

Don’ts
• Defend the mistake
• Make the person feel like it was his/her fault
• Make the person continue to prove they are right

If this service company had taken responsibility by using 2 out of the 3 dos, they would have obtained a new client.

Everyone wants to be creative and display their own style. For both men and women a question often arises about bracelets. Are they acceptable to wear? What types are considered professional? How many can be worn?

Recently, I was having lunch with a Senior Vice President and she was wearing three gold bracelets. They were narrow, fit together bangles (They did not clang against each other.) that worked well.  However, last evening I saw a man wearing a heavy gold chain bracelet. Way too flashy, the bracelet was the first thing you noticed about him.

So, the rule of thumb is that bracelets can allow you to express creativity and be a great fashion accessory. They must not be the first thing noticed about the person or be noisy. Also, one cuff bracelet is enough in a business setting.

Tattoos came up in a recent workshop. The main question was- Should tattoos be displayed or covered up? Tattoos are attention getters and very personal to the folks who get them. In most business settings tattoos are not acceptable unless it is in a very creative environment. Even then, they must be fairly non-religious, non-political and not too graphic. My recommendation is that if you want to get a tattoo have it applied in an area that is visible only to you. You do not want to be recognized just for your tattoo.

Dress shirts for men have come a long way from the typical cut. In fact, shirts had only one cut not too long ago. Today, men’s shirts may not necessarily come in the variety of sizes that women’s tops do with petite, misses and women sizes. But, a man can buy shirts in slim, athletic and a full body cut as determined by the chest, sides and waist sizes.

The differences are as follows:

Slim (Extra trim): Trim through-out with higher arm holes and narrower sleeves
Athletic (trim): Fitted through the chest, arm holes and sides
Full: Cut with extra room throughout the body of the shirt
Using these guidelines men should never have to worry about looking too sloppy when wearing the right shirt. They might even end up looking as elegant as Cary Grant!