How many times do you have to deal with unreasonable demands? The real question is knowing ways to navigate these requests to meet them in a reasonable time frame without sacrificing  current activities.

The key is to agree and disagree at the same time by asking the questions: What can be delayed? How important is this request? What is the real time frame for this project? Instead of panicking and / or causing stress between all parties, stay calm and strategize the timelines.

It is critical to get feedback and use it to strengthen a project or program. A client shared the three questions she asks her students in a class she teaches about feedback. The questions are simple, non-threatening, but very effective. They are:

– What would you like to start?
– What would you like me to stop doing?
– What would you like me to continue to do?

The beginning of a new year makes it easy to go down the rabbit hole of: what did I accomplish last year? That’s because we tend to look at the things we did not achieve instead of the things we did do.

So, how do we stop ourselves and look at the future? First is to recognize the signs or triggers that start you down that rabbit hole. Once recognized, use three tools: talk to someone, write down your feelings and three distract yourself.

• Talk to someone – Call your go to person to help walk through this feeling
• Write it down – Journaling can also halt the downward spiral
• Distract – Do something that will instigate feelings of control and joy

Each of these different methods will help prevent the journey down the rabbit hole and bring long term benefits.

Many work and personal relationships are built on attracting the opposite person like an extrovert with an introvert, a thinker with a doer or people driven by feelings with those that apply logic. These relationships combine to balance each other and complete a circle.

What about successful relationships consisting of similar types of people such as a thinker with a thinker or an introvert with an introvert? These tend to bring safety, comfort and dependability to both parties in the relationship.

Relationships that grow and can experience more wins are usually the ones composed of opposites in thinking and actions. Are they the easiest? Usually not, but they can be the most productive.

My five favorite books that provide the professional and personal skills and insights on building relationships are:

• 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen Covey
• The Tipping Point – Malcom Gladwell
• Blink – Malcom Gladwell
• Start with Why – Simon Sinek
• Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

The dictionary definition of fluidity means the ability to flow easily, Flexibility means the capability of blending without breaking.

In the business world, professionals exceed expectations when they can manage corporate life by recognizing and applying the difference between fluid and flexibility.

The difference between flexibility and fluidity is that after understanding the timeline or specific ideal, flexibility indicates the give and take on the progress and adaptability in a much larger space. Fluidity suggests the absence of a real guideline and the constant movement toward securing the goal.

When strengthening a skill, I use a scale from 1 to 10 and judge where I am at. If it’s a 6 for instance, I think about what I need to do to get to an 8? So many times, when we stretch too far and have high expectations, it leads to a quick start and a faster stop. Begin this new year by picking one item you want to work on and take it up two notches making sure the tasks and time frame are doable.

Seven key behaviors that make a good manager / team leader include:

1. Caring for the area
2. Sharing the spotlight
3. Expressing confidence in decision making
4. Allowing the group to function as a team
5. Accepting a wrong decision
6. Staying available
7. Avoiding any hint of bullying behavior

Often, high potential executives possess these qualities. They help employees excel and leaders thrive from the demonstration of these leadership skills.

A potential landmine during the season of cheer is the company or client holiday party. This is a time meant to build relationships not destroy or put them on life support.

It is a time not to drink or talk too much. Always remember to smile and refrain from discussing politics or religion. Avoid pouring your heart out or telling secrets to your boss or a colleague. Just build relationships.

Getting over a bad boss is difficult. A bad situation, managed poorly by a toxic boss, can also be a good learning opportunity to help raise awareness and increase sensitivity during future strained situations.