Karen May, Vice President for People Development at Google, was quoted in the NY Times Sunday, December 30th, Openers. She said that earlier in her career, she learned to realize “that one of the most valuable things I could for somebody is to tell them exactly what nobody else had told them before.”

Giving feedback has to motivate someone to do better while not tearing them down. I recommend using the three to one rule:

1. Let them know three things they do well.

2. Suggest one thing they may need to look at.

3. Tell them why this is something they need to examine.

This reality check can be a turning point so it is a gift when you can do it for someone in an appropriate manner.

I always find it exhilirating that we can enter another year and just start anew. It is a great opportunity to begin a fresh chapter in your life.

So, ask yourself, what is one goal you have had for the last two years that you have met and one goal you have not. Looking at the one goal that was accomplished, review the steps you took. Take those steps to apply it to the one goal you did not achieve. But first ask if the goal is realistic and reasonable. If it is then why not make it the goal to achieve for 2013?

Better yet, take it one step further and get another opinion or even a coach who can help you reach perspective on it.

One of my goals for the last 4 years was to get a personal trainer who will motivate me to exercise and enjoy it. I am on my fourth session and starting to do exercises on my own. I’m even beginning to be excited about it.

Pick a goal you can work on and achieve in the next year.

Have a prosperous and happy 2013!

These are the five critical questions that need to be answered to guarantee you will be a front runner for the position you are interviewing for:

1. What skills do you bring to the position that no one else possesses?

2. What is your expertise and is there a proven record of successful accomplishments?

3. What does the position need?

4. What critical element is required and do you meet that requirement?

5. How can you turn any resume gap into a positive?

Being able to provide answers to these questions will ensure that you will be a front runner for any position you interview for.

In this Sunday’s New York Times business section, Corner Office, “Tony Tjan, CEO and founder of Cue Ball, a venture capital firm, suggested waiting 24 seconds, 24 minutes and 24 hours before criticizing a new idea. This allows the time needed to examine all the ways it might work.

So many times in a meeting ideas and thoughts are never shared because of the fear of being rejected. If we all were to use Mr. Tjan’s system it would absolutely allow more folks to express their creativity and be open to share ideas. The results would energize the conversation and allow different and possibly even better approaches toward a solution.

How can you determine what truly energizes you and tie that in to what you love to do professionally. It seems to be easier to know what we don’t want to do so begin with a checklist. In one column list at least 10 items you don’t like. On the other side of the column write what you are doing. If 5 of the 10 items on the I don’t like side show up put them next to the item on the what you’re doing side. Do this for a month and then reassess. This will help you get closer to what you love to do. Be patient – it can take up to a year to figure it out. In the long run you will be energized and fulfilled.

The only way to become good at any task is to practice it. You can have the best speech or great talking points on an index card but if you have not actually practiced verbalizing the words, the chances of it sounding the way you want it to and being effective is about 50/50.

Think about how much athletes practice. They spent hours each day doing the same thing over and over. In fact, Geoff Colvin, in his book, Talent is Overrated, suggested that it takes a minimum of 10,000 hours of doing something to become proficient at it.

So, if you want to be good at any task always take time to practice. If you do this, the chances are that you will knock it out of the box. Otherwise you could appear stiff like Clint Eastwood and his ad lib performance at the Republican convention instead of President Bill Clinton’s rehearsed one at the Democratic convention.

In my lifetime, there are two or three things I recall saying that I really regret. You cannot take those comments back but here’s what you can do:

1. Don’t make the same mistake twice

2. Apologize immediately – verbally and in writing

3. Breathe when you feel anger coming on – take a deep breath in and exhale slowly

4. Stop the dialog and suggest to talk about it another time, if possible

5. If it has to be resolved, come up with a solution quickly

Sometimes it is hard to stay focused in meetings when you are not an active participant or the meetings are back-to-back. Keep eye contact with those around you. Take notes and ask questions when in meetings. Give yourself a quiz afterwards to remember what occurred.

Managers often tell me how they judge those in meetings by how engaged and attentive they are. Having a poker face can be another career killer in a meeting. You give the perception the meeting does not matter. However, in reality they may matter more than you realize.

How many times has a comment stemming from a sense of humor provided a pause in a serious discussion or at least eased the tension in a room? The key thing is being smart about using humor by relating it to the situation. We see where a sense of humor has often been used to break the tension in today’s heated political environment. “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” William James

Two television shows focus on small business. The program on MSNBC focuses on helping a selected small business. The other show is ABCs Shark Tank. This show refers to the “pitch” which is a few crisp words on what the business owner is all about and why his/her business is worth investing in.

It is has been proven over and over again that if you have a good pitch you can sell almost anything. In fact, a perfect personal introduction should be treated like a pitch. The key to good personal pitch is building in enough flexibility so that it can be tailored to any audience to obtain the impact and results desired.