I help clients prepare for “the interview” for a promotion or just a “look see” in some cases. Basic critical elements for the interviewee are dress, behavior (body language, facial expressions) and projecting confidence. However, the talking points and engaging the interviewer so they want to help you get promoted is just as, if not more so, important. You want to create a winning interview so you will be recommended, or at least be considered, for the next position. Also, ask probing questions. This way, for the second interview, you will be able to provide your insights on issues that are not common knowledge for the role.

The phone interview for some folks is less nerve racking than a personal talk. However, it might be harder to stay focused because you do not have a face to engage the interviewer. Keep centered by having your talking points in front of you. Make sure you are not distracted. Really listening to the tone of the voice and questions on the other end will the keep interaction strong and help you respond appropriately. 90 percent of my engagements come from conference call interviews. I always pause to give the interviewer time to respond. I also clarify by saying- this is what I hear you are saying. In addition, I always follow-up by proposing a day and time to reconnect.

Recently I was involved in a project and the coordinator corresponded with me via e-mail. The e-mails were less than friendly. They were quite terse and in some cases a bit accusatory when answering my questions. For example, one comment was- why are you asking these questions – did you not read my last e-mail?

I was shocked when meeting her in person. She was a very nice person, very sincere and quite helpful. My point is that it may be a good idea to read your e-mails out loud before sending. Is the tone reflective of your intent? This is why US Today has said so many problems are caused by e-mail. Maybe had this person and I had a face to face meeting or even a phone conversation, I would not have developed a negative perception of her.

Networking is critical for both personal and professional growth. Following these steps will help you build stable and strong connections:

• Begin with friends and family. Connect with those that have connections to what you need for work either for a new position or a skill you want to acquire.

• Be crystal clear on what you want and don’t want. Being vague will leave you empty handed. Also, it’s very important to have a succinct pitch on who you are and where your strengths lie.

• Be a valuable resource. In both giving and receiving, deliver what you commit to.

• Be a consistent networker face to face as well as on social media like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. Have a strategy and apply it consistently. Face to face networking can be done at least once a week and make social media a daily habit.

You must have fun with it. Folks want to be with those who have a positive attitude and are sincere. Look the part so they want to be seen with you. Follow these guidelines to begin a strong network or refresh the one you currently have.

The Chicago Tribune Career Builder mentioned these seven shortcomings that will definitely kill your chances of being promoted:

1. Procrastination that results in missing deadlines or using lame excuses like the computer crashed.

2. Having a sense of entitlement: The “company owes me” is a phrase I hear all the time.

3. Doing only what is required of your job conveys the dreaded “It’s not my job” attitude.

4. Staying in your own corner: Eating lunch alone and never joining in on office social events.

5. Not being a team player: Only looking out for yourself.

6. Looking like you are going to a party or a picnic: Too much business casual is a career killer.

7. Maintaining your contacts: Meeting someone once is not networking.

Our everyday actions have a long life span. And in today’s highly competitive work world, every action is critical.

A major component of leadership presence is behavior. Below are seven behavior derailers:

• Smoking in public

• Being negative about yourself

• Constant complaining

• Acting like you have a close relationship with a colleague only when you want a favor

• Never apologizing for making a mistake

• Acting like you are smartest person in the room

• Gossiping

Lyn Paolo, the costume designer for Scandal, creates a commanding presence for Kerry Washington (Olivia Pope) by using these guidelines:

Choosing a palette: Men are always in navy and black. Her thoughts are that lighter colors stand out. (I favor lighter shades of blue or gray with white shirts to stand out for my clients.)

Ignoring trends: For Kerry, she looks stronger and more consistent in trousers, pumps and jackets. However, wear what looks best on you. If you look and feel best in skirts then wear skirts with jackets. Have the look be consistent.

Forgoing suits: Mix and match jackets and slacks or skirts to create a custom look. Colors can be mixed but fabrics must match to look smart.

Being understated: Have a signature piece. It can be a jacket, coat or jewelry. It will set you apart while not appearing too flashy.

Today, it appears that a majority of folks in the work world are unhappy but do not know what would make them happy at their job. For my clients with this concern, I ask that they begin a log with five columns.

A column that:

– Lists an activity they do

– Indicates if they like it and why

– Indicates if they don’t like it and why

– Suggests what would make the activity they do not like turn into one they would like

– Totals the number of likes and dislikes

At the end of two weeks, they need to review the log. The purpose of this activity is to determine a direction of what would make work a good fit or to help decide if it may be time to move out of their current role.

In a recent article Midge Wilson, Ph.D., a professor of psychology and women’s studies at DePaul University, talks about the Power Bob hair style. Wilson says the bob is “somewhat of a masculine style” that strikes a balance that’s neither too butch nor too silly.

In a paper on hair and first impressions based on a study funded by Procter and Gamble, study director and Yale University psychology professor Marianne LaFrance, Ph.D., wrote, “Within seconds of meeting you, people begin forming a first impression about the type of person you are, and it’s not your face that gives you away; it’s your hairstyle.”

According to the study, women with shorter hair are perceived as more intelligent and confident than those with longer styles. (You can see Power Bobs on Marissa Mayer, Meg Whitman and Hillary Clinton.)

However, I feel the longer hair is making a move forward. For example, look at the new executive of General Motors, Mary Barra, along with Michelle Obama. Both have a hair style that’s a bit more feminine.

Whatever hairstyle you choose, though, it must make your face the center of attention and not your hair.

You may have heard the saying: It’s not what you know, it is who knows you. I believe the new mantra is just who knows you.

Often, when a job opening is posted the hiring powers may already have someone in mind. This person is the one they know about including what they stand for, their personal brand and work history of success.

So, I ask— Who knows you and how do you network to increase the number of people that do?

There are at least five vehicles of networking:

• Formal events once or twice a month

• Informal, meaning casual by chance, in the hallway, parking lot, the elevator, etc.

• Social Media such as LinkedIn, Facebook and Spoke to name a few

• Being published

• Having a leadership role in an industry or work-based organization

You must have your personal introduction and interesting areas of conversation to share at a formal networking event and be involved in three of the above five networking vehicles. Otherwise, no will know who you are.