Ben Wechsler writes a newsletter on success and has developed The Wechsler Leadership Program, Creative Problem Solving, and Strategy & Innovation. I recently interviewed him on what experiences led him to develop his coaching and leadership tenets.
Besides Ben being certified in all the above areas, he used his thirty years of technology and life experiences to craft the programs.

What I found refreshing, because, often we don’t appreciate our own steps towards achievement, is that he feels completing one goal can be a significant success. Sometimes, we expect to be the next Steve Jobs or the Oprah’s of the world which can be so defeating. He firmly believes success is when you achieve any measureable goal. Benhttp://benwechsler.com/success-network-how-aware-are-you-of-your-own-success.

Amy Wilkinson is a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the author of The Creator’s Code. Amy’s two years of research can be found in the book. It turns out that leadership has nothing to do with age and more to do with mindset, skills and psychographics.

Successful leaders share the ability to:

1. Spot gaps in the market place
2. Maintain a long term vision
3. Iterate quickly
4. Fail smartly
5. Collaborate
6. Be generous

Folks with these skills tend to be revolutionary and attract people to work with them. They have the ability to cultivate, encourage and harness conflict. These leaders are not afraid of the unknown and constantly find solutions. They keep asking questions and probe until the best way to move forward is discovered.

I recently attended a showcase where professionals shared their crafts and secrets to help their peers and colleagues grow in corporate careers and expand their learning. However, it was easy to spot the presenters who were only there to hawk their services. They provided surface content only. I firmly believe the folks who were truly sharing were passionate about their craft and wanted others to benefit. These folks are in my book and are leaders in their industry. What they give to others will result in them receiving it back 100+ percent along with heartfelt appreciation and respect.

Hitting the mark is the moment when what you have accomplished the task. It can be engaging the audience and seeing they understand your point. It can be as simple as getting a smile back when you have smiled. The point is to remember that sense of gratification when things don’t hit the mark. It will keep you going to reach that mark.

I work with many clients where I get that sense of gratification in our partnership when they get to a point where they see what needs to be done and embrace it. So many times we tend to look at the missteps as setbacks as instead of steps to get where we need to go. It is all a process. This is why I feel strongly about it. Keep that sense of gratification when you hit the mark of achievement and remember sometimes, it takes steps.

Have you known folks who have the death stare? It’s when someone stares at another with a look that makes you want to shrink down in their seat in terror. (Examples are actors, Kristen Stewart and Sir Patrick Stewart.)  A death stare is different than a poker face. It is more about the eyes that go right through you. Check it out with your friends; ask them what your eyes say. The death stare  has more impact than any words. Use it wisely. (Doris Day never had a death stare while Joan Crawford did.)

Today, I was at the Judicial Courthouse supporting a friend going through a difficult time. In the building, the only folks who can use a cell phone are attorneys. While in the elevator, I noticed a young woman wearing dressy open toe sandals (more for night wear), very worn jeans and a makeshift jacket who tossed hair and shifted her armload of papers and began using her phone. I casually asked, “You must be an attorney? “Yes,” she replied. I was thinking OMG.

When I got off the elevator, I saw that my friends’ attorney was wearing a lightweight dark suit, modern under pining and great ALG flats. She had long hair and was beautifully groomed.

We saw an attorney (with a phone in her hands) on another elevator ride who gave off an air of poise and confidence. I would hire her in a minute.

My friend thought maybe the first attorney I saw was only an associate. That may be true but it is still no excuse; you always want to look like you are ready to take the next step.

“Don’t be afraid to go for positions, jobs or take on clients just outside of your knowledge base. Confidence is overrated. It is when we most uncomfortable and looking for answers that we learn and grow the most.” Barbara Corocoran

Confidence is built by doing. The more you practice, the better you will get. I recently worked with a young, very smart CPA who practiced a presentation about the nuances of cultural differences between English speaking and non-English speaking folks. This also happened to be her first time speaking to a client group.

She did the hard work by practicing with me then did a dry run in her office. Not only did she ended up hitting a home run with the client, the Senior Vice President has asked her to speak at a regional conference!

Eyes can say much more than words. A look can be absorbed even before the person speaks. Samantha, (There’s a picture of her in this blog.) has these amazing eyes that look right through you. She does not talk much but stares and barks when annoyed. Her eyes do all of the heavy lifting.

Capture your look by using the eyes to obtain the effect you desire like effective actors, politicians and business people do. Joy, disappointment, sadness, authenticity and dishonesty and most other emotions are first reflected in the eyes. A good way to learn about the eyes is by watching films, live theatre and television programs.

Recently, I was involved in an incident that I considered embarrassing.

I take one on one training on how to use a Mac Air (going on 15 months, now). Because I’ve been a PC user for 25 plus years, it is a completely new way for me to work on a computer.

Technicians who work with me are really very patient. They never make me feel badly when they have to continually repeat answers. So, I thought it would be a nice gesture to bring a bottle of Apple Ice for my main trainer.

However, when he opened the drink, the soda fizzed all over the table, floor and chairs. Instead of being upset, he laughed and turned what I thought was a disaster into a comical situation. He even said it made his day so much better. How wonderful it is to have this sense of humor. It makes life’s little mishaps that much more tolerable and even, at times, more enjoyable.

My do’s and a few don’ts for giving an engaging presentation whether it is for small group of 25 or a group of 250:

• For small audiences – always ask general enough questions to get multiple answers

• For all audiences – use a microphone or a lavaliere (just attended a session – no one could hear the speaker)

• Share a few relative stories and ask for confirmation (Has this happened to you?)

• Move toward the audience when you want to make a point

• Work both sides of the room

• Get the audience to move around at least once per hour

• Always have fun with the audience

• Do not stand in the way of the projector light

• Do not allow your volunteer stay in front of the projector light

Overall, set the presentation up as a win for the speaker as well as the audience. When situations happen, like starting late or dealing with a faulty projector remain calm, flexible and prepared.