Framing your face
A very important but frequently underestimated sartorial consideration is the framing of one’s face. After you are finished donning your ensemble, but before you present yourself to the world, take one last look at your face in the mirror to see if it is appropriately complemented by your choice of clothes and jewelry. For example, a closed collar strengthens formality and authority attributes whereas an open collar signals approachability and connectivity. The color of your shirt, blouse or jacket is a critical choice as it can lend a powerful but subliminal highlighted quality to your face. A necklace can also be chosen to enhance your preferred projection, but be careful not to let it be a distraction. A recent choice by Barbra Streisand was particularly interesting. Her face was well framed by her hair. She used a long necklace to accentuate her body length for this particular concert occasion.
An apology for a transgression in a business situation can be a complicated thing, and it is so organically linked to the context that generalized protocols can be treacherous. Let’s start with this one: you aren’t ready to make an apology until you really mean it. The person to whom you are apologizing will have an acute ability to sense whether you are just going through the motions or are sincere. That person will also know if your transgression is a one-off, or whether it fits a pattern. If the latter, you will have much more work to do. And people can always tell whether you are apologizing for your deed, or only for having been caught. Many missteps are possible when making an apology. On the other hand, if you do it thoughtfully and meaningfully, you may do more than repair the damage – you may strengthen an important collegial bond.
A common courtesy is accepting or not accepting an invitation. However, this little nicety appears to have gone by the wayside. Is not responding a response? It is not. When is the appropriate time frame to respond? As soon you know if you are able to attend or not, respond so you don’t forget it.
Recently, when working with a client in refreshing her wardrobe, we realized that the jewelry that worked a few years ago needed to be replaced with more statement pieces for a couple of reasons. She was recently promoted to a senior vice president role and the office went to a more casual environment.
As a firm believer in taking deep breaths to calm myself, I know it can sound trite when you’re told to breathe in difficult situations. A recent article in the New York Times business section by Phyllis Korkki showcased an interview on Belisa Vranich, a clinical psychologist who re-teaches people to breathe. The correct way is to breathe horizontally and from the middle of the body. Expanding your belly while inhaling through your nose and squeeze your belly inward while exhaling. This will help you move through difficult situations and also open more space for creativity.
Expressing passion when speaking about your subject is an important way to connect to your audience. The key is to control the volume of your voice. It is easy to mistake yelling for passion. Practice by audio and videotaping your presentations. This helps determine when and where the voice needs to change to reflect the key moments in the speech. When a voice raises in sound, it projects a different feeling than yelling does. Use one to three fingers on your throat to gauge when your voice goes too high or low. You can raise or lower your voice to make a point and determine the most effective tone based on the audience size and speech content.
In a recent primary election, the winner did not push her competitor to concede because she had lost badly eight years ago and understood the pain. This reminded me of a loss I experienced some years ago that I did not handle well. It took the care of a few close colleagues to help me realize the bigger picture and apologize to the winner. Years later, I went on to be the president of the group. The point is that we will experience many wins and losses in our lives. Remember to be graceful for both occasions. It’s especially wise if you want to maintain many working relationships as you move forward.
