It would be ideal to never be saddled with a bad boss. The type of manager who never appreciates what you do, who overloads you with unreasonable expectations and timelines and who sends you numerous emails late at night. This kind of leader can be brilliant, maybe even another version of a Steve Jobs, which is where value can shine through the craziness. You could be exposed to situations that provide insights into moments of high achievement.

As an example, when I was in sales, the owner was very demanding. However, as painful as it sometimes was, the skills I developed dealing with him helped turn me into a top sales person and trainer in less than two years, in a position I went on to hold for ten years. Even today, after twenty-five years, I still use many of those sales tools to procure and retain business.

Questions I always ask are what is your expertise? What defines your brand? What experiences created the confidence that makes senior leaders say you are an expert in a field? Begin a list of how you have led a team to success including how the outcome delivered a positive, long-term result for your company. Start with words from those you have mentored or helped in a specific situation. Keep a journal of them. This will help you define and flesh out your brand.

Rambling confuses the listener and damages speaker credibility. Whether you’re addressing an audience of one or one thousand, determine what you want them to leave with. How clear is your message? Is it relevant to the situation? I have always been fascinated with political debates. I like observing if a candidate responds with clarity and conveys a strong message to any question that is asked.

Lesa Frances Kennedy, CEO of the International Speedway Corporation and Vice Chairwoman of NASCAR, answered the question: How do you hire?

“First impressions are so important in terms of fitting in on the team. The moment you walk in the door; you’re being observed. You may not know that, and it’s not anything formal, but I’ll get feedback. You read the body language of some of the people they’ve met, like a receptionist, and you can pick up very subtle cues about how they felt about that person. Was the person respectful?”

As you read this quote from the NYT Corner Office, Sunday, October 25th, consider the first impressions you create no matter who you meet. Does your first impression project confidence and approachability? Are you someone they want work with in the best of times as well as when problems arise?

Beth Comstock made history by being GE’s first female vice chair. One piece of advice given to her by Jeff Emmelt early in her career was to ask:  “Why aren’t you speaking up and voicing your opinion? It doesn’t do you or the company any good when you don’t.”

Beth is quoted in the article admitting a struggle with self-confidence. In working with clients, I have found that this is one of the main reasons people are not promoted or perceived as confident. Women have a bigger challenge because they seem to think that their opinion has to be right on target before they speak. Not so, because an opinion, even when not completely accepted, might start a path to a solution. Speaking up helps your audience to get to know you just as presenting your message is critical in being seen as a leader.

At a recent program for women. I was the keynote speaker. A question came up around whether it’s appropriate to use leggings for everyday wear. Many women today like leggings because they are popular, comfortable and easy to wear. However, they are not pants.  Maybe when wearing a longer, three-quarter length jacket that hangs to the calf, leggings could squeak by but skinny pants add more polish and style and provide a very smooth finish. They are a much better choice than leggings. Spanx has leggings, that when worn, look like pants.

Men’s jackets and suits come in short, regular and long. Recently, when shopping with a client, the sales person handed him a regular 42. Because of his height that would be the right size. However, I felt he would look much better and more elegant in a 42 long. The reason we ended up with the 42 long is because he measures with more length from head to waist so the longer jacket proportionally looked like better fit. Rules can always be broken if it works in the eyes of the beholder!

I encouraged a client to go on a high profile interview because the more he received exposure to leaders, the better the opportunities might be for him in the future. (The old saying who you know has been long been replaced by who knows you!) Often, folks miss opportunities because they lack confidence or are afraid of interviewing. Practice is good, however exposure and practice is much more effective in building confidence so that when the opportunity arises, you’re ready!

For women who fervently oppose makeup, try tinted moisturizer (We all need moisturizer.), a well-defined eyebrow and a bit of color on the lips and check. Burt’s Bees is one of many brands that offer a lip stain combined with a chap stick. Women’s lips never should look dry.

For men, even those who prefer a shadow beard, the rest of the face must be well groomed, with trimmed eye brows and no other facial hair out of place. It is amazing how popular men’s products for the face, moisturizers and exfoliates currently are. Also, instead of the heavy colognes of yesterday, light fragrances are the rule now.

It is not easy to dress for the masses, especially on television. In today’s race for the White house, the male candidates have it much easier. Their choices are simple because it comes down to the shirt and tie combination. Their main battle is the fit of the jacket. President Obama has his suits tailored to fit him so he always looks elegant and crisp. He is also tall and slim, so his main issue is look stately and in command in an approachable manner.

For the heavy set candidate, it can be difficult to not look rumbled and clown-like. Women, on the other hand, have an even more difficult task. Their clothing choices are either too bland or tend to look matronly. Another challenge is that they must look feminine but like they’re still in command.

Television will add at least 20 pounds so clothing choices must accent the slim side of women. We are now in the midst of a presidential campaign so look for the dress style wins in the candidates and learn from those that miss the mark.