Understanding cultural differences and similarities helps bridge communications. For example, I am a first-generation Chinese born and raised in Chicago and sometimes work with natural born Chinese (born in China) even though the individual may be in the US for an extended time.

We may look and even sound similar, but we think and communicate very differently. I am  direct, a distinctly US quality. Individuals from another culture may agree even though they disagree to save face. The main similarity is that we both want to succeed but get there in different manners. To connect and avoid a saving face situation, present a solution in a way that will achieve the main goal.

Once, in the middle of a heated disagreement, instead of getting into a debate, I used silence. Silence caused the other person to pause. I’m not sure whether the debate was resolved but it did allow space for some discussion around other solutions.

Silence is wonderful tool in many ways. It creates time to listen. It can control or manage a situation and inject air in the room. Sometimes, a lot of chatter generates too much noise and prevents clear thinking. Silence helps all parties pause and ponder.

Many work and personal relationships are built on attracting the opposite person like an extrovert with an introvert, a thinker with a doer or people driven by feelings with those that apply logic. These relationships combine to balance each other and complete a circle.

What about successful relationships consisting of similar types of people such as a thinker with a thinker or an introvert with an introvert? These tend to bring safety, comfort and dependability to both parties in the relationship.

Relationships that grow and can experience more wins are usually the ones composed of opposites in thinking and actions. Are they the easiest? Usually not, but they can be the most productive.

My five favorite books that provide the professional and personal skills and insights on building relationships are:

• 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen Covey
• The Tipping Point – Malcom Gladwell
• Blink – Malcom Gladwell
• Start with Why – Simon Sinek
• Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

Keeping grounded is being aware of the triggers that prevent you from going down a rabbit hole. What is a trigger and how do you know what it is?

It can be a panicky feeling, talking too fast or allowing procrastinating to seep into your life. Once the trigger is determined, then put in a distraction until you return to stability. Using golf as an example, it is never the bad shot that causes the problem. It is what you do on the next shot. Keeping grounded takes practice and the more practice, the more grounded you’ll feel.

When strengthening a skill, I use a scale from 1 to 10 and judge where I am at. If it’s a 6 for instance, I think about what I need to do to get to an 8? So many times, when we stretch too far and have high expectations, it leads to a quick start and a faster stop. Begin this new year by picking one item you want to work on and take it up two notches making sure the tasks and time frame are doable.

A potential landmine during the season of cheer is the company or client holiday party. This is a time meant to build relationships not destroy or put them on life support.

It is a time not to drink or talk too much. Always remember to smile and refrain from discussing politics or religion. Avoid pouring your heart out or telling secrets to your boss or a colleague. Just build relationships.

Past studies suggest individuals that grew up in difficult environment are more likely to be resilient in the journey of life. Oprah is one of the examples frequently mentioned. Another critical component is perseverance. Never giving up, using your failures as a learning example and preparing for the next time a similar situation arises will help you be successful in tough circumstances.

I recently heard Seth Godin give a talk about “Engagement – Do the Work You Love”. One of the elements of the talk stressed the importance of failure and the lessons learned from it. As we begin to grow and become more proficient in a subject, I believe we continue to strive for success and we work diligently to not fail. What that occurs, I think our growth ceases.

Folks I work with try and learn from situations that did not work out. An important failure I had early in my career was that my son told me to get out when making a pitch that suddenly heads south. I did not follow his advice.

In my presentation (the RFP was 50 pages), the interview was scheduled with two folks. Instead it turned out to be a team of five! I was terrible but instead of getting out of the interview, I forged ahead with my struggling presentation. It took me a year to get over it.

A few years later, I was asked by another company to put on a year program for 300 with 30 at a time in one day. I went into the interview with five people, performed well and won the project. This first failure was painful but it was the lesson that keeps giving.

Seth Godin also talked about ways we need to feed and stretch our emotional muscles mentioning that at least once a year he takes in a retreat and reads material to do just that.

I try at least twice a year to take a class or obtain another certification in a skill that will help me grow emotionally and observe life from another point of view. Last year, I became an international coach credentialed as an Associate Certified Coach (ACC).

This year, I made time in my very hectic schedule to attend a digital marketing conference on artificial intelligence and the ways it is revolutionizing the field. Strengthening your emotional muscles will also help renew and energize your passion.