There is always someone on a team or in the audience that makes the situation or subject about them, good or bad. Either way, it steers the objective away from the core issue. The best way to bring the conversation back to the point is to not spare them, but to say, “let’s circle back, or we were talking about this.”

Often, we must work with a person who takes up all the air in the room. With a larger than life personality this person can also be very fun to be with. If this individual is a group leader, sometimes, details and tasks never get addressed or completed.

Allow this person their moment and when there is a break in conversation, rejoin the discussion with the task in mind. Avoid trying to control this person but instead manage them. This happened at Thanksgiving with my larger than life youngest sister. Instead of trying to rein her in, I asked her to make the gravy and everything went back on track!

Build confidence by doing it. Practice bolsters confidence even when there is failure. In the early stages of my work, whether speaking to a group of 20 or to one thousand, it took constant practice to fortify my confidence.

Go to different events to study the styles of those who are really the best. Watch Oprah or Zig Ziglar and note their speech patterns and talking points. Receiving feedback, good and bad, will always help you improve as it did for me.

Truth will always matter. Once, during a television makeover show twenty years ago, the host asked me what I would never do. I replied that I would never lie to a client or audience. Truth can be told in a way that is not hurtful. For example, instead of saying that the suit looks awful, one might say it does not do the person justice.

In the second season of the television series, “The Sinner”, a young boy decides not to run away. He chose to face the consequences because lies eat away at integrity. And a very good friend and outstanding psychologist said, once integrity is gone, there is nothing left. Being truthful is not always easy but it is the right thing to do.

The cooking competition show is about more than just the food. It provides a visual of ways contestants and judges work under pressure to deliver successful products and give constructive feedback. The show that continues to give feedback gems is the Kid’s Championship Baking Show.

Duff and Valerie are the judges and it is the way they use the three to one rule that clicks. They look for the three positives and one not-so-positive area to help the contestants achieve success as a baker. The judges balance the fine line on these impressionable young minds. We understand they were chosen for their baking skills, personality, and how they receive feedback.
All us of revert to the child in ourselves when under review and feeling pressured. (Even when we try to toughen up!)

A loss, whether the death of a family member or loss of a job, is difficult for everyone involved. Most desire to give comfort. That could mean not saying anything but instead giving a hug (if you are close). Other words are I am sorry for your loss or for this difficult time. Never give the impression you understand what they are going through because you are not them. Offer your comfort simply and with empathy.

In a perfect world, mistakes are never made. However, in the real-world, mistakes are critical to growth and learning. It is also important to recognize that when a mistake is made, an apology might be needed. Apologies can be verbal or written. Sometimes, even a gift is sent with a note. The most important element is that the apology is offered. Too many times that does not occur, and that becomes the real mistake.

In today’s divisive political climate, changing the subject is a good way to give everyone a message that we need to agree by disagreeing and stop discussing a topic that only leads down the rabbit hole.

Once, at a dinner party, a hot and very difficult political subject arose. Words were exchanged between two folks that I thought would be tough to take back. I immediately asked: Does everyone like blueberries with their dessert? That worked, and immediately changed the subject.

Project management means coordinating the time, people and materials needed to accomplish the end goal in the required timeframe. Often, problems arise. It is important to ask the question, what solution can be completed with the least amount of time and effort?

Recently, in a remodeling project, the new Hunter Douglas cordless solar shade was too wide to accommodate the panels for a cabinet. The shade could not be returned. The issue was a misjudgment by all parties involved. I took a step back and a deep breath without calling anyone names or assigning blame. New shades had to be ordered with a 20% discount. The key was to get the project that everyone could be proud of completed.

In working with a client experiencing high stress and in a no-win situation, it became clear that a time out was needed for some personal care, a massage in this case. We let all the parties involved know that we would come up with a solution at the end of the week.

The client had the authority and the funds to ask team members to take the day off and send in suggestions by email for the client to review for the Friday meeting. The client and all parties needed to take a break from their 24/7 work schedule to ensure the decisions were the best for the project. The project was successful and all parties felt empowered by the outcome.