Have you known folks who have the death stare? It’s when someone stares at another with a look that makes you want to shrink down in their seat in terror. (Examples are actors, Kristen Stewart and Sir Patrick Stewart.)  A death stare is different than a poker face. It is more about the eyes that go right through you. Check it out with your friends; ask them what your eyes say. The death stare  has more impact than any words. Use it wisely. (Doris Day never had a death stare while Joan Crawford did.)

Today, I was at the Judicial Courthouse supporting a friend going through a difficult time. In the building, the only folks who can use a cell phone are attorneys. While in the elevator, I noticed a young woman wearing dressy open toe sandals (more for night wear), very worn jeans and a makeshift jacket who tossed hair and shifted her armload of papers and began using her phone. I casually asked, “You must be an attorney? “Yes,” she replied. I was thinking OMG.

When I got off the elevator, I saw that my friends’ attorney was wearing a lightweight dark suit, modern under pining and great ALG flats. She had long hair and was beautifully groomed.

We saw an attorney (with a phone in her hands) on another elevator ride who gave off an air of poise and confidence. I would hire her in a minute.

My friend thought maybe the first attorney I saw was only an associate. That may be true but it is still no excuse; you always want to look like you are ready to take the next step.

Since their introduction, leggings have now grown into a staple for most women. Most pants, from jeans to dress pants, have gone slim and skinny. And if you look at what women are wearing today, probably almost 90% wear leggings to slim and skinny pants. The latest fashion craze taking hold is patterned leggings.

I understand patterned leggings with the right coordinated top can be a fun look for the gym and running. However, I do not feel they are appropriate for business casual or casual day at work.

1. Not having several personal introductions

2. Not having an ice breaker to start the conversation

3. Not having a business card

4. Not mixing with more than one group (or staying too long in conversation with one group)

5. Not listening enough (non-stop talking)

6. Not asking how, when and why questions

7. Not having a good time (projecting a look that reflects stomach pain might be occurring)

8. Not smiling (instead, wearing a more a grim facial expression)

9. Not making eye contact or looking around the room more than at a conversation partner

10. Not having a crisp handshake

Take away the nots and you can be a star at networking. The process will also become more fun.

In a recent NYT business section, there was a question was brought up about a great candidate (The applicant had the experience, knowledge and qualifications the company needed). However, when the applicant’s resume went to the senior leader involved in the actual hiring, (This person would report to him), it was noted that the resume contained many misspellings.

The senior leader opted not to interview this person but his staff felt the misspellings should not matter. The critical issue became that if this person was careless with spelling mistakes, he might also be careless with project details.

A resume is a reflection of the sender. You only have one chance with a resume, especially with very successful organizations because they have many people desiring to work for them.

In my career prior to starting Personal Images, I can honestly say I have worked with more bad bosses than good ones. These are managers who yell, make unreasonable demands and expectations and/or run around like policemen watching your every move.

My experience has been and continues to be, to find a way to navigate around them. This means maintaining a low profile and minding your p’s and q’s. If a boss is completely unreasonable, move to another part of the organization, if possible.

If it is important to your career to stay with this boss, then you must learn to develop a thick skin and learn from this person, meaning all the good things about him/her while trying not to focus on the negative. It is about management and not about winning with this type of manager.

Recently in workshop for a Fortune 100 client, the questions came up on how people stay engaged when working from a home office, especially for months on end.

1.Dress as if you are going to the office in business casual attire. Not in pajamas or clothes you would clean the garage in. Dressing up will make you feel professional especially in an isolated setting. Ugly is working in your pajamas. It starts out feeling good but ends up making you feel unaccountable.

2.Do not eat lunch in your home office. Dining out keeps your socialization skills active.

3.Talk to folks in the office. Use FaceTime or Skype so you are on decision makers minds for any projects that may be good for your career mobility.

4.Take on special projects that will keep you visible with leadership.

The woman wearing a neutral color says, my hands are well taken care of. They are a critical part of my image but not the only element.

For men, the message is the same, well-groomed nails indicate elegance and conservative look. Dark polish shouts- a performer and an artist. What is your message?

Often, clients fight that perception is reality. They don’t understand what their brand is and most importantly how their brand is perceived and the fact that what is really important is what is perceived.

Perception has a life of its own. Recently, in speaking with a client about a potential hire for her team, all she could remember was that this person was wearing ridiculously high heels! She felt this individual was only interested in fashion and not truly a business person. Changing the perception of the potential hire from a not-so-serious business person to a professional who took herself seriously, necessitated quite a mind shift in the interview.

It is often said that our eyes are the window to the world. They are also are how folks read you. Eye contact is critical when first meeting someone because it shows engagement and that you are focused on what they are saying. It also will help you remember names and something about them.

Eyes, when looking down, up, to the right or to the left, do not send a good message. In some cases, it shows nervousness and even deception in a reply.