The holidays can be a wonderful time if one can manage the stress of trying to get too much done. Appearing and feeling rattled could take the joy out of this wonderful time.

These are a few things I consider to ensure I will enjoy this season:

1. Do not over schedule, Steven Covey says to allow time in a day for the unexpected.

2. When you are faced with a lack of time to complete a task, complete it on another day.

3. Taking deep breaths really helps when you find yourself in a stressful moment.

4. This is very important: do one at least one thing each day that brings you joy. For me it is in the morning when I hug my dog and make plans to have lunch or dinner with a friend to celebrate the holidays.

Holiday parties are the time to celebrate relationships and a good time to take the stress out of this busy time of the year.

To ensure you have fun:

• RSVP at least a week in advance unless otherwise specified in the invite.

• Let the hostess know if you have any food or animal allergies.

• Make sure that a hostess gift does not get too close to food that needs to be served or too near flowers on the table.

• Arrive no later than ten minutes after the start time.

• Mingle and introduce yourself to new folks.

From no eyebrows, to very thick ones – they make a statement. The key element is that eyebrows have definition and frame the eye.

Sometimes the natural brow color needs to be enhanced with color brow powder. The eyebrows can also be colored when the hair is being colored.

Always get an opinion from a professional about the shape. Be comfortable with the opinion and do not proceed if you feel the change is too drastic. Instead, experiment with brow pencil or powder first. A well-shape eyebrow will capture your eyes which will help engage those you are speaking with. It will definitely make a positive statement.

Some folks have a natural smile and it comes easily. Then, there are folks like yours truly who needs to be made aware of smiling. You can pretty much tell by my eye and head movements that I am engaged. But for many, it’s the facial expressions that reveal all.

Today, we had a situation where one person kept pushing on a subject and other person responded that the topic was not negotiable. At first, the dialog was conversational. It turned when senior person’s dead pan facial expression and stiffness in the body language became visible.

The other person kept the subject alive until the senior person said, “Note my facial expression and body language. You should be aware that you are not reading my message.”

The other facial expression is the poker face. Most folks perceive this means that the person does not want to be engaged and/or is bored.

The key to successful engagement is based on what your eyes and facial expressions say.

In last Sunday’s New York Times there was a piece by the Ethicist: Why is it important to treat people how they want to be treated versus treating them the way you would want to be treated?

It all comes down to understanding communication styles. So many times, messages are not received because folks resist adapting to a way of communicating that is different than their own.

The Platinum Rule, which is to treat others the way they want to be treated, is critical to win/win communications. I realized this a few years ago in communicating with my sisters. Once I understood their communication preference, I found it much easier to have a dialog under stressful situations. Visit www.personalimagesinc.com to learn more about the Platinum Rule.

In stressful times, when projects do not go smoothly, someone may get thrown under the bus. If you happen to be this person, here are some critical tips to ensure that it does not turn fatal:

1. Stay calm

2. Do not interrupt when being spoken to

3. Ask questions to get details to either deflect blame or fault the situation

4. Accept responsibility

5. Offer solutions to fix the problem or make sure it never happens again

In all fabrics, from knits to denim, leggings are back. Wearing them smartly depends on your complete look. (No matter what, do not wear leggings at work.)

From the top of your garments down to the shoes or boots you wear, leggings cannot look like exercise or yoga clothing. They have to complement the rest of the clothing to form a complete outfit.

The number one offense with leggings is wearing them with thin tops that barely cover your hips. The second one is wearing thin leggings that are so tight they look like a second skin.

The face is our main attention getter. Our hair is a frame around it so it should look as good as possible. Here are some dos and don’ts for both men and women:

Men:

Do: Think balance. Your hair style looks best when it is age appropriate and balances your face with the rest of your body.

Do: Clean it up. If you are bald (bald is beautiful) make sure it is completely clean – no fuzz on the back of your neck.

Don’t: Wear a hairstyle meant for an age 10 years younger than you are.

Don’t: Over spray. Your hair should not glisten.

Women:

Do: Wear a contemporary hair style. You can do that just by updating the style you have worn for the last three years.

Do: Have movement in your hair style – it will give it a modern feel.

Don’t: Wear a spiked hairstyle unless you are in the arts and/or advertising field.

Don’t: Over hairspray your hair so that it is as hard as a football helmet.

Follow these do’s and don’ts and your hair will not be a distraction but your crowning glory.

In a perfect world, we would not have conflicts and would always along with each other. Unfortunately, there are still a few difficult people that we either try to win over or think we can change them. The reality is that folks are who they are.

So what happens when we try to deal with them? The folks who are successful have a laser focus on getting what communication goal they have, accomplished. Geoffrey Tumlin’s new book “Communicating,” offers these three tips in dealing with difficult people:

• Let go, focus on strategy and let difficult people be difficult.

• Keep your expectations low; remember that you are dealing with a painful person.

• Accomplish what you need to do quickly.

Another recommendation is to avoid the dance where they insult you, you ignore it and go on working. For example, if the person says that this is sloppy work. You can come back with: Sorry to have disappointed you; I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Use these tips and you will be able to accomplish your goals with minimal bloodshed.

In the Chicago Tribune, Sunday, September 8th business section, Edward Trullman (Chairman of Tribeca Flashpoint Media Arts Academy in Chicago) wrote about five ways to make the most of Demo Day. Demo Day is when folks get to pitch for business funding to Venture capitalists.

The five ways can help ensure a participant will hit it out of the ball park when s/he makes a pitch. They are also exactly what we work on with clients who are either interviewing for the next position or seeking to sell a project.

1. Be short, sweet and grab the audience early – know your story.

2. One template does not fit all – you may have tell your story in different ways.

3. Don’t let the way you dress be a distraction – this also goes for hair and grooming. Leave the green nail polish for clubbing and guys, trim the beard. No reading glasses – purchase progressive ones.

4. Stay away from case studies. Start with results – leave the details for later discussion.

5. Name your supporters – In Tullman’s piece, he talks about naming investors. Familiarity is critical especially because the folks you are pitching to want to a way to connect with you. Everyone wants to play with a winner.

If you have a chance watch Shark Tank on Friday nights. You will see that the folks who get one or two of the sharks to invest embrace these points.