In todays fast paced, professional and social environment, we want to create an instant connection with those we meet. Unfortunately, the intial engagement with those who do not know us can also leave a negative impression.
These are few tips that will help you have a positive impact.
• Your facial expressions must be relaxed and softened with a casual smile – it needs to say, “I want to meet you.”
• Eye contact is critical; so form an easy lock into their eyes with the initial greeting
• Relax your body language
• Maintain an appropriate personal space—about one arm’s length
• Use a proper handshake—firm and easy
Keep these critical elements in mind when you first meet someone. You will create a positve first impression that will last.
After you select the colors that flatter you and determine that your clothing fits like a glove, the final step is style. That is what brings everything together.
Style is an understanding of what works best for you.
It is knowing that your visual impact will always be smart and contemporary.
It is creating an instant impact when someone meets you and gets your look.
It is deciding on the hairstyle, make-up (for women) and eyewear enhancments that complete your style.
Once you understand your color, clothing fit and develop your unique sense of style, you will always create a powerful impact that will always separate you from the crowd.
These are three key things you can to do to elevate your presence that will set you apart from your peers without you having to spend a ton of money. We will cover them in the next three blogs.
Wearing the right color:
• Will add color to your skin (even when you are worn to a frazzle)
• Can make you look thinner
• Can make you look taller
Color can send messages:
• Dark colors create authority
• Light colors create approachability
• High contrast colors will create drama
When you use color to your advantage, it will become your best friend. It will add subtle impressions and project strength. It will add richness to your overall impact.
“Orange combines the energy of red and the happiness of yellow. It is associated with joy, sunshine, and the tropics. Orange represents enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, creativity, determination, attraction, success, encouragement, and stimulation.”
When we think of orange pumpkins, Halloween comes to mind. Orange by definition is a wonderful color. It can be worn with many colors other than black.
If you wear it with navy, brown and grey, you will not look like Halloween. You will look smart.
Here are some suggestions for wearing orange:
• Orange sweater combination with navy, camel or gray slacks
• A touch of orange in a tie for men
• A knit orange scarf wrapped around a neck
• Light orange nail polish for fun (women only)
• Darker orange sweater set with gray (women only)
Matching orange with these different color combinations will remind us of the fall season and bring a smile to those around us.
Civility is an act of kindness (the opposite of rudeness).
Etiquette is rules that have been in place over the last two centuries (knowing which fork to use).
Manners are how you handle etiquette (what to do when your neighbor does not know which fork to use).
It is interesting to note that by definition the terms are different. However, in action they can have the same effect of kindness.
Today I experienced waiting in a very long security line to fly back from North Carolina. Folks were patient and the security people treated everyone with dignity. I thought this was an example of civility, manners and etiquette.
Another example of civility is not getting yelling when listening to a speaker because you do not agree with the content.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the folks running for political office could act more often with civility, manners and etiquette?
You need to have your own personal introduction. Some call it the elevator statement or pitch. I like to think of it as sharing a bit of information about yourself; short, concise and purposeful.
It is critical that you be understood. So, you may have perfect talking points but if they are difficult to hear, it does not matter.
Here are some exercises to make sure you are being heard:
• Pair up with another person – face to face at arm’s length. Say your name. Check in to confirm you can hear each other. Once you have done this, take one step back and do the same exercise. Each time see if the other person can hear you.
You should be able to hear each other without shouting from two arm lengths away. Practice until you are not shouting but are still loud enough so the other person can hear you.
• Check the pace of your words. Often, we talk so fast no one understands us. The brain can absorb 400 words in a five-minute speech. Audio tape yourself and practice twice a week either to speed up or slow down your pace of words.
Practice these two exercises six times a month for three months and you will be heard and remembered.
We all know someone is always upset. They are constantly yelling or angry. They hold others responsible for problems that they- the chronically inflamed—have created.
Or, the person who lets everyone know that they are the only one who knows how to do something perfectly.
We cannot change them. But we do want to be sure we do not become one of them.
Be aware of the following triggers so you will not become one of the chronically inflamed:
• Raising your voice when talking to someone about a problem
• Looking for the fault in a situation that is not related to you
• Saying- I would of done it this way and it would have been perfect
Life is challenging. Unfortunately, it is all too easy to fall into the trap of being upset all the time and blaming everyone else. Instead, if we look at solutions for problems, we will avoid being one of the folks everyone calls chronically inflamed.
Leggings are settling into women’s wardrobes in very big way. They have even influenced how jeans and slacks legs are being cut—very narrow.
Ellen Warren of the Chicago Tribune recently posted photos of women on Michigan Avenue wearing leggings. However, some women cannot wear them.
So the question is- can one wear leggings as slacks for business casual? There are some leggings made with a heavy, thick cotton. When they are worn under a long tunic, they could possibly pass muster and be considered appropriate.
My philosophy, though, is that leggings belong as casual wear rather than business casual. So, save them for the weekend!
“A first impression is a self–filling prophecy.”
Malcolm Gladwell, author of the bestselling books, Blink and The Tipping Point, wrote this. It is so true. How many times have I witnessed the difference between a confident and a non-confident person entering a room? You can see the difference with the poor body language and lack of facial expression being displayed by the person lacking confidence.
Confident people can lead and motivate those around them. What is it that gives these people confidence?
Is it that new piece of clothing in the right color and fit that showcases you perfectly? Can it be as simple as a new haircut and style, a new piece of jewelry or reading a book that validates your work?
Many times it is a combination of possessing both a feel good and an authentic attitude.
Keeping track of your wins and learning from your mistakes is also critical.
I also say that if you own your confidence in an inclusive manner, the world will offer you so many opportunities that you cannot imagine.
Your purse or briefcase should never look too big or overstuffed. An over-stuffed bag is bulging at the seams. In today’s world, the person carrying the essentials only, looks like a person in control as opposed to being controlled by too much “stuff.”
Essential items include a cell phone or PDA (which serves as a phone, camera and calendar). Next are your grooming items like a comb, lipstick and face powder. You will also need a wallet for cash and cards. The last item for the brief case is a portfolio and maybe a laptop.
Keep it simple. Carry only what you need. Not only will it make life easier, you will appear to be more in control.
