How many times have we tried to reach a customer service person on the phone but instead of getting a person, an automatic system responds with a long list of numbers to call? In appreciation to all the companies that offer this, we like the ones that make it simple after you hit the correct number! The companies that do well with the first customer service contact, usually put an efficient, inclusive agent on the phone that wants to help get the problem resolved.

When working with clients or others to solve a problem, resolve the issue so that everyone leaves with a sense of closure. This burnishes a reputation of inclusiveness and competence.

Here we go again with the eye brows – eye brows should accent the eyes, not create a strong reaction like – what the heck is that on your face! Eye brow shapes including no eye brows, depend on the total face and how the hair frames it. The best eyebrows enhance rather than take away from the eyes. Do a test by taking a quick look in the mirror. Do your eyes blend in or shout out?

In everyday communications, when there is no conflict, leading by example is easy. It is when conflicts arise and extreme differences of opinion emerge, that a true leader takes charge by example while taking the high road:

The No’s
No name calling
No assigning blames
No screaming or shouting
No using social media to air out differences

The Do’s
Do stay calm
Do take a breath and think before speaking
Do listen before speaking
Do ask about solutions
Do bring in support for both sides of the discussion

In working with a client experiencing high stress and in a no-win situation, it became clear that a time out was needed for some personal care, a massage in this case. We let all the parties involved know that we would come up with a solution at the end of the week.

The client had the authority and the funds to ask team members to take the day off and send in suggestions by email for the client to review for the Friday meeting. The client and all parties needed to take a break from their 24/7 work schedule to ensure the decisions were the best for the project. The project was successful and all parties felt empowered by the outcome.

Understanding cultural differences and similarities helps bridge communications. For example, I am a first-generation Chinese born and raised in Chicago and sometimes work with natural born Chinese (born in China) even though the individual may be in the US for an extended time.

We may look and even sound similar, but we think and communicate very differently. I am  direct, a distinctly US quality. Individuals from another culture may agree even though they disagree to save face. The main similarity is that we both want to succeed but get there in different manners. To connect and avoid a saving face situation, present a solution in a way that will achieve the main goal.

A firm handshake:
1. Creates a first-time bond
2. Starts a relationship
3. Enables the other person to begin to know you
4. Says confidence
5. Allows sharing of a personal space
6. Is usually the only time one touches another person at work

This firm handshake is the initiator of hopefully a fruitful relationship beginning.

Recently, I was with a group of professional men and women. One of the women turned to me and asked how I knew so much about sports, the stock market, etc. Being fortunate enough to have clients in several sectors, including the automobile industry, I found that small talk is critical to forging relationships.

Talking about diets, weight gain, or the latest color unless it is for a uniform project, would not be of interest. Not now or ever, in fact, due to the volatile political climate, is politics considered small talk.

My five favorite books that provide the professional and personal skills and insights on building relationships are:

• 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen Covey
• The Tipping Point – Malcom Gladwell
• Blink – Malcom Gladwell
• Start with Why – Simon Sinek
• Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

The dictionary definition of fluidity means the ability to flow easily, Flexibility means the capability of blending without breaking.

In the business world, professionals exceed expectations when they can manage corporate life by recognizing and applying the difference between fluid and flexibility.

The difference between flexibility and fluidity is that after understanding the timeline or specific ideal, flexibility indicates the give and take on the progress and adaptability in a much larger space. Fluidity suggests the absence of a real guideline and the constant movement toward securing the goal.

A potential landmine during the season of cheer is the company or client holiday party. This is a time meant to build relationships not destroy or put them on life support.

It is a time not to drink or talk too much. Always remember to smile and refrain from discussing politics or religion. Avoid pouring your heart out or telling secrets to your boss or a colleague. Just build relationships.