I love the program Yes, for the Dress. I love Randy and the stylists that are featured. I also find the family dynamics around the bride to be very interesting. Kleinfeld consultants are there to sell a wedding dress but most importantly, the bride must be happy with the purchase. If the bride is not happy, the consultants empathize and let them think overnight about which dress works best.

What I find amazing is that after trying on 50 or more dresses whether at Kleinfeld or another shop, some brides still struggle to decide! I believe that means the decision is not just about the dress anymore but more about the marriage. If you cannot flip the switch to buy a dress, can you probe for the real issues? I use these brides as case studies for clients who seem to have the same behaviors.

Often, folks presenting start with the details and eventually get to the point. However, presenters who begin with the end in mind and then wait for a reaction from the audience can discuss the supporting points based on that audience response, tend to deliver a more impactful message. They show their audience respect and allow them to ask better informed questions.

Many leaders that are afraid of failing, end up failing by not taking risks. They play it safe by choosing the path of least resistance for success. The leaders willing to be creative and explore options not guaranteed to win end up winning. They know that failure is a learned event on the path to more successful wins.

Pairing up in a team situation with a partner that is opposite of you will be frustrating at times. However, a broader picture will emerge. A team is best when made of opposite thinking patterns as long as everyone focuses on ways to achieve the best end result.

Functioning with a partner opposite in thought and energy is done by establishing ground rules on when to call a timeout. My experience of a few years ago comes to mind. Each member conducted an assessment when a new team was formed. We ended up pairing each other with an opposite communication style partner. This enabled the team to garner significant insight on dealing with client projects.

Recently the news has featured constant dialog about the phrase alternative truth / facts. In my work, I have noticed that some clients struggle to face hard facts like not missing deadlines, poor work performance and grasping real truths. I think these people are headed for career growth disappointment. Until they can truly be honest with themselves by letting go of the spin, they will lack the credibility and respect of their peers and peers are who senior leaders look to for validating promotions. Unfortunately, fact deniers may end up without a role in any organization.

Expressing a sense of humor with truth but not in a mean-spirited way, goes far. This helps in the continually depressing news cycles. The late-night hosts usually succeed in spinning depressing news in an intelligent way while using a touch of humor. This helps negate the dark stories, just a little.

Social media has a life of its own. It is worse than gossip and can haunt those who traffic in it and anyone around them. Facebook and Twitter are platforms to express news and instant emotional reactions, good and bad.
People have even gotten fired for being caught up in loose comments made in the news by high powered folks. They thought if it was ok by those folks, then they could say it too. However, the reality is that some have power and freedom without repercussions and others face the wrath. If something is that important for you to express it in writing, write the words to yourself first and decide the way you want to handle it the next day.

I was recently reminded of a time I was asked to be the lead speaker at a memorial by my sister for her husband. Later, a friend mentioned how she enjoyed her husband’s service. The friend liked how each person who spoke shared a thoughtful insight and in some cases, a humorous story about her husband.

What is important in a memorial service is that the individual is brought to life in a unique way through the folks speaking. Make sure that speakers are given a brief guideline prior to speaking. Serving as a lead speaker at a memorial service is an honor. It is also a responsibility to the family to help coordinate the service.

Recently, a well-known prime time news anchor tried to validate a point with a spokesperson by asking a question about a lie from the spokesperson’s team that appeared on the news. This anchor is known for integrity and has a knack for handling sensitive subjects with the guests on the show.

The spokesperson was a shark, a fast talker employing a high spin level skill at making observations and details sound like facts. The anchor, unfortunately, did not respond well even though he the truth was behind the question.

What I would recommend, is to ask the questions at least three times. Then, instead of doing the cha-cha with the guest, end the conversation on a high note by letting the other person to wallow in their own comments. Don’t swim with the sharks unless you possess some shark skills of your own!

Lately, we have been hit by the media that political correctness doesn’t matter…that saying what you think is the best approach. I agree with ignoring rudeness from rude folks because taking the high road not to engage seems to be the right thing to do at times. I often wonder, though, if with that approach, we send the message that we are tacitly agreeable. Perhaps, a facial expression showing distaste may send the most appropriate message that we disagree with rudeness, arrogance and untruths.