Asking the right question without putting words in one’s mouth is critical. Choosing to steer a discussion takes practice and critical listening skills. Ask a question by using phrases like: what is on your mind, what are you thinking or what is the first thing that comes to mind. This helps spur serious, insightful and meaningful discussion.

How many times do you have to deal with unreasonable demands? The real question is knowing ways to navigate these requests to meet them in a reasonable time frame without sacrificing  current activities.

The key is to agree and disagree at the same time by asking the questions: What can be delayed? How important is this request? What is the real time frame for this project? Instead of panicking and / or causing stress between all parties, stay calm and strategize the timelines.

Handling difficult feedback is important to overall success. Recently, I worked with a client who choose not to deal with this type of feedback. In fact, he never got upset but instead deflected the critical comments.

By disregarding the feedback, he displayed a blind spot large enough to hold him back in his career. Always listen to difficult feedback by focusing on the valid points and using it as a helpful tool in securing career success and encouraging personal development.

A firm handshake:
1. Creates a first-time bond
2. Starts a relationship
3. Enables the other person to begin to know you
4. Says confidence
5. Allows sharing of a personal space
6. Is usually the only time one touches another person at work

This firm handshake is the initiator of hopefully a fruitful relationship beginning.

Once, in the middle of a heated disagreement, instead of getting into a debate, I used silence. Silence caused the other person to pause. I’m not sure whether the debate was resolved but it did allow space for some discussion around other solutions.

Silence is wonderful tool in many ways. It creates time to listen. It can control or manage a situation and inject air in the room. Sometimes, a lot of chatter generates too much noise and prevents clear thinking. Silence helps all parties pause and ponder.

It is critical to get feedback and use it to strengthen a project or program. A client shared the three questions she asks her students in a class she teaches about feedback. The questions are simple, non-threatening, but very effective. They are:

– What would you like to start?
– What would you like me to stop doing?
– What would you like me to continue to do?

Good conversations while dining with a client are important in forging relationships. The main folks to focus on are the individuals to the right and left of you. If the noise level is low, include both parties in the discussion.

Refrain from conversing to someone directly across the table especially if the table sits ten. The rule is to never discuss religion, politics or intimate personal issues. If asked about any of these subjects, it is best to deflect and begin a new topic and always err on the inclusive side.

Recently, I was with a group of professional men and women. One of the women turned to me and asked how I knew so much about sports, the stock market, etc. Being fortunate enough to have clients in several sectors, including the automobile industry, I found that small talk is critical to forging relationships.

Talking about diets, weight gain, or the latest color unless it is for a uniform project, would not be of interest. Not now or ever, in fact, due to the volatile political climate, is politics considered small talk.

Many work and personal relationships are built on attracting the opposite person like an extrovert with an introvert, a thinker with a doer or people driven by feelings with those that apply logic. These relationships combine to balance each other and complete a circle.

What about successful relationships consisting of similar types of people such as a thinker with a thinker or an introvert with an introvert? These tend to bring safety, comfort and dependability to both parties in the relationship.

Relationships that grow and can experience more wins are usually the ones composed of opposites in thinking and actions. Are they the easiest? Usually not, but they can be the most productive.

The dictionary definition of fluidity means the ability to flow easily, Flexibility means the capability of blending without breaking.

In the business world, professionals exceed expectations when they can manage corporate life by recognizing and applying the difference between fluid and flexibility.

The difference between flexibility and fluidity is that after understanding the timeline or specific ideal, flexibility indicates the give and take on the progress and adaptability in a much larger space. Fluidity suggests the absence of a real guideline and the constant movement toward securing the goal.