Gossip causes more unnecessary damage to both personal and professional relationships than just about anything else. A study done at the University of Michigan indicated the person who did the most damage regarding the gossip was not the one who starts it, but the person who hears it. That’s because the person who hears it can either pass it on or stop it.

So, remember that when someone starts to talk about another, you have the power of preventing that piece of gossip from going any further.

So many times I hear from clients they feel self-promotion is a negative thing. The thinking is that if you are good at what you do, self-promotion is not necessary. However, self-promotion is critical to business success if it is always done inclusively not intrusively.

Doing the few things below will make sure your self-promotion is inclusive and acceptable:

Social Media: Be on Linkedin
Be an author: Write an article, get quoted in a trade publication or write a book
Facebook: Tailor it to your profession or company guidelines
Networking: Be active in trade or civic associations
Twitter: Offer advice that will enhance your visibility
Face to Face: Have a professional introduction ready to use

Self-promotion is a good thing when done inclusively because it will connect you to your audience. They will then do the promoting for you.

The current color for shoes is neutral, which means color shades of beige, taupe, and camel. The first time a neutral color shoe appeared in the movies was in the remake of Sabrina. Sabrina wore a taupe shoe with a black suit.

The neutral shoe can make the leg look longer and slimmer in a heel. When wearing it in a flat shoe, it can make the foot look smaller.

What actors wear in movies tends to set trends. For example, in the Prince of Tides, Barbra Streisand wore a blouse not tucked in but worn out over a skirt under a jacket. That’s when fashion designers began designing blouses to be worn out for women.

That look has become acceptable in most professional settings for women. The blouse worn in the right length can make the body look slimmer.

Look for the designers to test and some cases set trends by trying their fashions out in the movies. If you stay aware, you can be a trendsetter by observing what actors wear in the movies!

We often forget we are our own reality show. If you are on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Spoke, etc. this is your show. Who is your target market? What is your message and do you convey it consistently?

The book 20 20 Workplace by Jeanne Meister, discusses the importance of social media. It’s basically all about interaction—how you reach beyond your backyard to become global.

My question is how do you ensure a consistent and universal message to your audience? This is why it is important to have a consistent story line. You want your reality show to become a hit with your readers, not a nightmare.

Begin to put yourself in the shoes of your readers. What is it you are trying to accomplish? Does it impact and add value to their lives? Or is it just a story of your life? If you can begin to answer some of these questions, your reality show will be a hit in your business life.

Marshall Goldsmith’s book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” uses the quote “Happy are they that they can hear their detractions and put them to mending.” William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing.

So much of what makes us successful can get in our way as we begin to move upwards. This why it is important to listen closely to what the chatter around you is saying. It is not easy to let go of the traits that took you where you wanted to go.

A great example in my mind is Oprah. Her original talk show began like most talk shows. She became successful by finding individual stories that were interesting to the viewers. However, she realized that was not going to take her where she wanted to go. Whether it was a direct inner voice or outside chatter, Oprah decided her mission was to empower others.

So ask yourself, what is it that you need to change so you can get to where you want to go?

The color red is often worn by brides in the East. At the same time, it is the color of mourning in South Africa.

In Russia, the Bolsheviks used a red flag when they overthrew the Tsar, thus red became associated with communism. Many national flags use red. The red ruby is the traditional fortieth wedding anniversary gift.

It is a bright color and will attract attention. Here’s how you can you wear red so it doesn’t shout:

• Break it up: Use it as an accent in a top, jacket or piece of jewelry.
• Blend it: Red shoes or a red purse can be fun when the color blends with the rest of the ensemble.
• In coats: Red in a coat or as a raincoat can be very smart.

Never be afraid of wearing red if you wear it in a smart, elegant manner.

A personal brand is important especially when we all want to stand out from the crowd during these difficult economic times. What is it that makes you special and engages those around you?

The points below will help you determine whether your brand will stand the test of time:

• Proof it works
• Consistency
• Special Sauce(You are different from your competitors.)
• Memorable
• Specific for a target market
• Irresistible (Everyone has to have it.)
• Dependable

Think of yourself as the brand manager of your company and the company is you. In 1997, Tom Peters coined the phrase “You’re the Brand”. If you can absorb this, you will stand out from the crowd.

It has been suggested in many body language books that the arms crossed around the chest indicates a close-minded person. In many cases, this may be true of a person who might be closed to a conversation s/he is currently in.

However, I believe some folks cross their arms because they may be cold, or they may be long in the torso so crossing their arms helps their back.

The main thing is, that if you like to cross your arms, I recommend you cross your arms gently and hold your body not too stiff and tight. This will enable you to cross your arms and still look approachable.

Jewelry choices for both men and women have changed dramatically since the year 2000. The different pieces (worn appropriately or inappropriately), send various messages.

Below are some suggested rules for wearing jewelry:

For men only:

• Watches: The styles have evolved from dress to casual to sporty. President Clinton made the sporty style watch appropriate to wear with a suit. The main idea is that your watch should not be the first thing that is noticed. The Rolex (the heavy gold watch is very popular) is still for those who want the world to know they have achieved business success.

• Rings: Less is always better than more. Wedding bands are personal and vary in all different styles. I do not recommend two rings on one hand.

• Bracelets: One is fine, two too many. The only exceptions are medical bracelets.

• Earrings: Best worn with casual wear unless you are in the arts and entertainment field.

• Necklaces: Wear chunky chains only if you are a rock star.

For women only:

• Watches: Smarter looking ones today have a larger face. The small or large tank style watches are always in style.

• Rings: Big stone rings can be distracting especially if they sparkle.

• Bracelets: Beads have become very popular for casual wear as long as they do not become distracting by making noise or by dangling.

• Earrings: The preference is one moderately styled earring in each ear. You don’t want your earrings to be the first thing that is noticed.

• Necklace: Pearls will always be traditional in style. The updated ones are large and differently shaped water pearls. Gold and silver chains have been in style these past two years. You can wear them layered on a simple top.

Jewelry is a great accessory. It adds interest, polish and elegance to any outfit you wear. When you follow the above guidelines, you will wear the jewelry; the jewelry will not wear you.

In the New York Times Sunday Business Section on February 13th, the president and CEO of Olympus Corporation, F. Mark Gumz, shared these critical tips for success:

• Don’t make promises you cannot keep.
• Keep every promise you make.
• If you do not know the answer, say so and get back with the answer.

This is a critical component of building your respect capital. These three tips sound easy but in today’s business world we tend to say yes too often. If you can consistently under-promise and over-deliver, your respect capital will be worth its weight in gold in the business world.