There was a recent segment on 60 minutes about how one can acquire charisma. This is a critical element in developing relationships and even more important in leadership.

However, there are different levels of charisma. The piece I believe is critical for leadership is that folks want to be with you. They also trust you have the best intentions for whatever is currently happening.

Here are some critical elements of charisma:

• Eye contact
• High energy
• Passion in what you believe in
• Listening skills
• Trust (you always are true to your word)

If you use practice these elements daily, you will begin to develop the charisma vital for fostering business and social relationships.

The primary purpose of business holiday parties is to celebrate and strengthen relationships. But, they can also be a gregarious time where too much information is shared and too many alcoholic beverages consumed.

Conversations at these events are best when the discussions are about current events or safe subjects like best restaurants, movies or books. Also, maintain a strict two cocktail limit.

Keeping these things in mind will help ensure the holiday parties work as positive relationship strengtheners.

In the spirit of being green, re gifting can work when you give to someone not in the same circle of friends or business. A gift can be re-gifted if it is less than six months old, does not have an expiration date (like food and wine) and has never been used.  However, the most important thing is that the person who receives the gift will know its value and use it.

Due to the economy both companies and people are being stretched to do more. In fact, in today’s workplace, more folks are putting in 60 to 80 hours a week while being paid for 40. So how do you get noticed without sounding whiny or being felt taken advantage of? 

I believe it is important to sit down with your manager and let s/he know what you are doing in an inclusive way. Start the conversation by stating that this is an update of what has been going on these past few weeks. Next, when you get your performance review, include the items you have been working on. Mention the positive impact on your group and the good effect the activities have been having on the company. Follow this advice and you will be noticed and noted as a high potential leader.

More problems are caused by e-mail than intended. That’s because words, if not written correctly, can be misconstrued. Plus, sentences are sometimes not even fully read if they are too long.

Fast Company magazine just had an article about how to be effective with email communications. Here are some golden rules to remember:

1. Never write an e-mail that is about a controversial subject.
2. Always begin with the end in mind.
3. Never write in all caps. It is considered shouting.
4. Always read the e-mail out loud to see how it may sound to the recipient.
5. Because we live and work in a global world, be aware of the impact words can have in cultures outside of the US.

One more guideline, always assume that everyone in the world will receive and read your email!

Remembering these simple rules will help ensure your e-mails will be read and effective at the same time.

Below are the top five things that were listed in a recent workshop exercise on personal impressions:

1. Personal hygiene (grooming and body odor)
2. Facial expression (smile)
3. Positive attitude
4. Body language
5. Clothing choices

So, be sure these five points are working for you. If you do, then you will always make Your First Impression, Your Best One.

Listening skills are critical to effective and inclusive communication. So often, people interrupt before another person finishes. Today, I happened to hear an example of this. It was on a television program where one person kept interrupting the other speaker because he did not agree with him.

Instead of obtaining my support for his view, I immediately thought how rude and abusive the speaker was. In fact, I could not even listen to his comments. When someone is trying to explain a point that you do not agree with, you must listen and allow the other person to finish. If you do this, I can promise that when you do speak, the other person will believe you have listened.

And then they will listen to you.

In a recent nationally televised debate, a participant had what I call brain freeze. Unfortunately, this has damaged his credibility.

Many folks have commented that this is something that happens to everyone and I agree. It has happened to me and many seasoned speakers. When it happens, the key to limiting the damage is moving through it quickly.
 
However, when on big stage, one cannot afford to have brain freeze. Here are some key things you must to do to prevent it:

1. Prepare by reviewing key talking points at least three times.
2. Have note cards with the text written in 16 point font. Highlight critical words in yellow.
3. Repeat the question and then number the points (to give you time to remember the answer).
4. When faced with a potential brain freeze moment, breathe deep and relax. Do this and the moment will pass.

Practice these points and you will not have to worry about brain freeze, just your speech!

In less than two months 2011 will be ending. So, hpw can you end this year with a bang? Look at your list of resolutions that you wanted to accomplish in 2011. Pick one that will provide the most impact and generate feelings of accomplishment. Begin today by setting up a plan. Each week devote attention to this task. Here are some tips to keep you on track:

* Set up a chart you where you can check progress, if not daily, at least weekly.
* Allow 30 minutes a day to review the status of the goal.
* Share your task with a friend who can keep you on track to accomplish your plan.

Accomplishing one item that you started working on at the beginning of the year will help you end 2011 with a bang.

We can learn so much by watching politicians in the news on what not to do. A classic example in the last few days has been a certain controversy pertaining to a candidate running for president who is ignoring and/or denying his alleged actions regarding a very sensitive issue. The issue is not going away. In fact, it is becoming a daily topic of which is lowering his respect capital. So, learn from this example on what not to do.

Take these three actions and you will be able perform effective damage control.

• Address the issue immediately.
• Craft a statement with input from close advisors.
• Always be consistent with the statement.

If you use these three basic guidelines (and remain calm when dealing with highly sensitive issues), you will be able quiet the surrounding noise.