We hear and read all the time of how important it is to have a social media presence. Using Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn will help give you more exposure. However, in the August 25th Chicago Tribune business section, columnist Rex Huppke of “I just Work Here”, writes about venting on anonymous websites. I agree and suggest taking it another step for Facebook which many folks, especially potential employers, read.

Below are what we might want to avoid doing on Facebook. Do not:

• Post too much personal stuff – it gives the impression you have a tremendous amount of free time – while at the office

• Post too revealing a personal picture, low cut tops or for men, hairy chests in skinny swim trunks (These belong on private sites or in People magazine.)

• Constantly brag about your business achievements

• Offer condescending advice

• Make fun of someone or something – leave that to Vanity Fair.com or People magazine

• Post negative comments in general

Keep your remarks positive and you will create engagement while providing a human touch which is what we want.

In today’s busy and virtual world, conference calls have become a must versus face to face meetings. I just completed a call that went 60 minutes (originally scheduled for 30 minutes) mainly because the group was not prepared.

They had not fully read the material and the leader had not set an agenda. Each of the participants (4) had their own set of questions and they spoke over one another. Poor reception was also a factor. (Two of the participants were in a car.)

• Always let the participants know if you are going to be in a car driving (which is a real no-no).

• If possible, be the only person on the call in your office.

• Always say your name before you speak.

• Always, after you speak, confirm everyone has heard you.

• Always agree to disagree.

• Always thank everyone when the call is finished.

• Always let everyone know your time constraints.

True etiquette is making the other person comfortable and allowing them to showcase their best.

Most our interactions, including final business transactions, take place on the phone. Speaking clearly and succinctly is very critical for many reasons. Your tone of voice is important in showing confidence and asking the appropriate questions.

Most importantly, you need to be heard. A good way to practice is by partnering with a colleague so you can both practice a range of voices, tones and pronunciations. Your phone voice is just as important as your visual presence.

The phone interview for some folks is less nerve racking than a personal talk. However, it might be harder to stay focused because you do not have a face to engage the interviewer. Keep centered by having your talking points in front of you. Make sure you are not distracted. Really listening to the tone of the voice and questions on the other end will the keep interaction strong and help you respond appropriately. 90 percent of my engagements come from conference call interviews. I always pause to give the interviewer time to respond. I also clarify by saying- this is what I hear you are saying. In addition, I always follow-up by proposing a day and time to reconnect.

Recently I was involved in a project and the coordinator corresponded with me via e-mail. The e-mails were less than friendly. They were quite terse and in some cases a bit accusatory when answering my questions. For example, one comment was- why are you asking these questions – did you not read my last e-mail?

I was shocked when meeting her in person. She was a very nice person, very sincere and quite helpful. My point is that it may be a good idea to read your e-mails out loud before sending. Is the tone reflective of your intent? This is why US Today has said so many problems are caused by e-mail. Maybe had this person and I had a face to face meeting or even a phone conversation, I would not have developed a negative perception of her.

There are folks in this world who like to throw you off with the “gotcha” question or comment. It comes out of the blue and the purpose is to show power. The way to protect yourself is to ask questions to help you get grounded without sounding defensive.

A gotcha moment happened to me recently and I was totally unprepared. Now, I would begin the conversation by asking the question – can you clarify this for me? This would have not only have helped me stay grounded but it would have added balance to the discussion. Putting this tool in place creates a win for you as well as a strong show of confidence.

Networking is critical for both personal and professional growth. Following these steps will help you build stable and strong connections:

• Begin with friends and family. Connect with those that have connections to what you need for work either for a new position or a skill you want to acquire.

• Be crystal clear on what you want and don’t want. Being vague will leave you empty handed. Also, it’s very important to have a succinct pitch on who you are and where your strengths lie.

• Be a valuable resource. In both giving and receiving, deliver what you commit to.

• Be a consistent networker face to face as well as on social media like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. Have a strategy and apply it consistently. Face to face networking can be done at least once a week and make social media a daily habit.

You must have fun with it. Folks want to be with those who have a positive attitude and are sincere. Look the part so they want to be seen with you. Follow these guidelines to begin a strong network or refresh the one you currently have.

A major component of leadership presence is behavior. Below are seven behavior derailers:

• Smoking in public

• Being negative about yourself

• Constant complaining

• Acting like you have a close relationship with a colleague only when you want a favor

• Never apologizing for making a mistake

• Acting like you are smartest person in the room

• Gossiping

Lyn Paolo, the costume designer for Scandal, creates a commanding presence for Kerry Washington (Olivia Pope) by using these guidelines:

Choosing a palette: Men are always in navy and black. Her thoughts are that lighter colors stand out. (I favor lighter shades of blue or gray with white shirts to stand out for my clients.)

Ignoring trends: For Kerry, she looks stronger and more consistent in trousers, pumps and jackets. However, wear what looks best on you. If you look and feel best in skirts then wear skirts with jackets. Have the look be consistent.

Forgoing suits: Mix and match jackets and slacks or skirts to create a custom look. Colors can be mixed but fabrics must match to look smart.

Being understated: Have a signature piece. It can be a jacket, coat or jewelry. It will set you apart while not appearing too flashy.

You may have heard the saying: It’s not what you know, it is who knows you. I believe the new mantra is just who knows you.

Often, when a job opening is posted the hiring powers may already have someone in mind. This person is the one they know about including what they stand for, their personal brand and work history of success.

So, I ask— Who knows you and how do you network to increase the number of people that do?

There are at least five vehicles of networking:

• Formal events once or twice a month

• Informal, meaning casual by chance, in the hallway, parking lot, the elevator, etc.

• Social Media such as LinkedIn, Facebook and Spoke to name a few

• Being published

• Having a leadership role in an industry or work-based organization

You must have your personal introduction and interesting areas of conversation to share at a formal networking event and be involved in three of the above five networking vehicles. Otherwise, no will know who you are.