Eyes can say much more than words. A look can be absorbed even before the person speaks. Samantha, (There’s a picture of her in this blog.) has these amazing eyes that look right through you. She does not talk much but stares and barks when annoyed. Her eyes do all of the heavy lifting.

Capture your look by using the eyes to obtain the effect you desire like effective actors, politicians and business people do. Joy, disappointment, sadness, authenticity and dishonesty and most other emotions are first reflected in the eyes. A good way to learn about the eyes is by watching films, live theatre and television programs.

In my career prior to starting Personal Images, I can honestly say I have worked with more bad bosses than good ones. These are managers who yell, make unreasonable demands and expectations and/or run around like policemen watching your every move.

My experience has been and continues to be, to find a way to navigate around them. This means maintaining a low profile and minding your p’s and q’s. If a boss is completely unreasonable, move to another part of the organization, if possible.

If it is important to your career to stay with this boss, then you must learn to develop a thick skin and learn from this person, meaning all the good things about him/her while trying not to focus on the negative. It is about management and not about winning with this type of manager.

This is a list of my not so favorite workshop distractions:

• The attendee who wishes you would finish before you start by looking at their watch 10 minutes into the presentation

• The poker/frowning face

• The chatter box who constantly talks to the person next to them

• The arms crossed over the body, totally closed to listening to any observations

• The naysayer who will challenge whatever I might say with another point of view

• The note taker who never looks up

If you happen to have any one of these folks in your class, never look at them. Focus on a friendly face and you will have a positive experience.

In today’s busy and virtual world, conference calls have become a must versus face to face meetings. I just completed a call that went 60 minutes (originally scheduled for 30 minutes) mainly because the group was not prepared.

They had not fully read the material and the leader had not set an agenda. Each of the participants (4) had their own set of questions and they spoke over one another. Poor reception was also a factor. (Two of the participants were in a car.)

• Always let the participants know if you are going to be in a car driving (which is a real no-no).

• If possible, be the only person on the call in your office.

• Always say your name before you speak.

• Always, after you speak, confirm everyone has heard you.

• Always agree to disagree.

• Always thank everyone when the call is finished.

• Always let everyone know your time constraints.

True etiquette is making the other person comfortable and allowing them to showcase their best.

There are folks in this world who like to throw you off with the “gotcha” question or comment. It comes out of the blue and the purpose is to show power. The way to protect yourself is to ask questions to help you get grounded without sounding defensive.

A gotcha moment happened to me recently and I was totally unprepared. Now, I would begin the conversation by asking the question – can you clarify this for me? This would have not only have helped me stay grounded but it would have added balance to the discussion. Putting this tool in place creates a win for you as well as a strong show of confidence.

The Chicago Tribune Career Builder mentioned these seven shortcomings that will definitely kill your chances of being promoted:

1. Procrastination that results in missing deadlines or using lame excuses like the computer crashed.

2. Having a sense of entitlement: The “company owes me” is a phrase I hear all the time.

3. Doing only what is required of your job conveys the dreaded “It’s not my job” attitude.

4. Staying in your own corner: Eating lunch alone and never joining in on office social events.

5. Not being a team player: Only looking out for yourself.

6. Looking like you are going to a party or a picnic: Too much business casual is a career killer.

7. Maintaining your contacts: Meeting someone once is not networking.

Our everyday actions have a long life span. And in today’s highly competitive work world, every action is critical.

You may have heard the saying: It’s not what you know, it is who knows you. I believe the new mantra is just who knows you.

Often, when a job opening is posted the hiring powers may already have someone in mind. This person is the one they know about including what they stand for, their personal brand and work history of success.

So, I ask— Who knows you and how do you network to increase the number of people that do?

There are at least five vehicles of networking:

• Formal events once or twice a month

• Informal, meaning casual by chance, in the hallway, parking lot, the elevator, etc.

• Social Media such as LinkedIn, Facebook and Spoke to name a few

• Being published

• Having a leadership role in an industry or work-based organization

You must have your personal introduction and interesting areas of conversation to share at a formal networking event and be involved in three of the above five networking vehicles. Otherwise, no will know who you are.

I am always pleasantly surprised by great customer service. Great customer service is when you as the consumer are respected and the issue is solved immediately and with ease. Recently, I ordered a product from Amazon and it was missing some parts.

I went to the issues and returns section of Amazon’s website and chose to have a chat about it. I confess I was thinking they would give me a problem.The customer service person gave his name and handled the problem immediately with no indication that he felt I was not being truthful. Amazon also sent a script of the discussion for my records!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if a key element of everyone’s professionalism was that we treat everyone as a number our one customer and client?We listen to the issue and refrain from being critical or defensive while solving the problem to the customer’s satisfaction, just like the folks at Amazon, Costco or Nordstrom. If we all did this, each of us would truly be considered a five star professional.

Holiday parties are the time to celebrate relationships and a good time to take the stress out of this busy time of the year.

To ensure you have fun:

• RSVP at least a week in advance unless otherwise specified in the invite.

• Let the hostess know if you have any food or animal allergies.

• Make sure that a hostess gift does not get too close to food that needs to be served or too near flowers on the table.

• Arrive no later than ten minutes after the start time.

• Mingle and introduce yourself to new folks.

Some folks have a natural smile and it comes easily. Then, there are folks like yours truly who needs to be made aware of smiling. You can pretty much tell by my eye and head movements that I am engaged. But for many, it’s the facial expressions that reveal all.

Today, we had a situation where one person kept pushing on a subject and other person responded that the topic was not negotiable. At first, the dialog was conversational. It turned when senior person’s dead pan facial expression and stiffness in the body language became visible.

The other person kept the subject alive until the senior person said, “Note my facial expression and body language. You should be aware that you are not reading my message.”

The other facial expression is the poker face. Most folks perceive this means that the person does not want to be engaged and/or is bored.

The key to successful engagement is based on what your eyes and facial expressions say.