The 2016 presidential election campaign is like none we have seen before, and the challenges associated with avoiding conversations which can alienate colleagues, bosses, and customers are greater than ever. Innocent ice-breakers under the most informal of circumstances can turn passionate. Given the state of polarized feelings on political topics, it might be best to plan in advance just how far you are willing to go in stating your preferences, and how, exactly, you should express them. Restraint might be your best default. Conveying an attitude of open-mindedness can temper the decibel level.

Often, after a program, an audience member will come up to ask for my card because they would like to know more about how I can help them or their organization.  I follow up with an e-mail or a call but often do not get a response even after a few tries. Maybe they are traveling or been hit by a car? The reality is that sometimes people are not really serious or life gets in their way.

My rule of thumb is to follow up immediately for a month then I do it monthly for a few months. I eventually call or email, letting them know they can contact me if they would like to meet or talk about personal or organizational needs. Then, I put their information into a file for future business. Even if those comments are just a polite gesture and not a serious request, you always want to follow-up because it is a good business practice.

It would be great if everyone you met liked you. Our hope is that we are engaging enough that folks want to have a cup of coffee with us. The truth though, is that not everyone will be warm and friendly. Maybe they don’t really like you or could it be they don’t like anyone?

I remember many years ago I would be in situations with a group of people who had powerful positions in the business community who would never say hello or even start a casual conversation with me. I was always feeling dejected whenever in their company. Later, I found myself with well-known, successful business people at a social event and saw these folks act the same way with them! It then hit me like a light bulb that they may not like anyone. Now, I know not everyone will like me but they may not really like anyone. They are just not people oriented.

Many companies go through changes which may mean laid off co-workers or staff with changed assignments which can leave long-term team members anxious. The best thing to do is to wish them well. Let them know how much you have enjoyed working together and if you are close to the person, give contact permission. Always maintain a positive dialog. Someday, it could be you who is affected by company changes.

It can be challenging when you are on the phone with someone who struggle to get to the point. It is important to let the person finish before you ask any questions.  However, if you sense the person is rambling, give them at least a minute and a half to finish or when there is a pause, step in with a specific question. Take notes when they are talking and really listen. Ask a question that will hopefully steer the conversation toward the point. It is ultimately up to you to help ramblers be more succinct by using their words to ask specific questions.

We live in such a fast paced environment that we quickly try to get the heart of an issue. Unfortunately, we sometimes do this by jumping ahead and thinking about what to say instead of focusing on what is being said. If we all listen to the intent of what is being said, we will have a better understanding on how to develop solutions to problems. Seek to understand, then to be understood.

Recently, I had a service person come in (happened to be the owner) who began to tell me what I had done wrong instead of saying there may be a problem but we will do our best to fix it. Can you imagine a consultant or coach like myself right off the bat, telling a client that s/he has tremendous problems? Or you, as a new team leader or team member telling the group: We have problems we cannot begin to solve?

I am not saying that we need to be a Pollyanna but can’t anything somehow be made better? I understand the owner might have been under tremendous pressure but if he doesn’t work for repeat customers, that pressure may just get a lot bigger and lead to more serious problems.

Among recent news was commentary about a very successful company that surpassed Walmart as the biggest in sales and earnings. However, it came out in the news how that firm nurtured combative and take-no-prisoner behavior. The high producers get rewarded and deliver at all costs, often sacrificing health and family. Teamwork and relationship building counts for nothing.

These folks are sharks. Sharks win at all costs and get away with it. Don’t swim with them unless you are sure you can win no matter the cost to someone else. You have to embrace the win/lose mentality. You are the winner and they are the losers.

I was once in sales and a top producer for 10 plus years. I learned from the toughest sales people and attracted sharks as friends. One day I realized that this was not me. The sharkiness came out of me as a matter of self-preservation. Today, I stay away from sharks and if I have to work with them, I don’t fight them. I just stay out of their way.

Asking intrusive ones are definitely a relationship destroyer. Recently, a colleague lost his position through a major reorganization of his firm. He had been with the company for 30 plus years. It really was his whole life and, in fact, defined him.

Instead of peers helping him manage through this life-altering loss, all they could do was ask questions like, do you have enough funds to live on, what could you have done to prevent this and have you begun to think about the future?

However, the best question would have been, how can I help? He was basically in an unwanted divorce. The next time you have a friend going through a major change, don’t add to the pain by asking intrusive questions; instead, be a comfort.

You may have heard the expression “musical chairs”… well, I have a new one “musical times”. This refers to individuals who continually move times and days for appointments because their schedules constantly change. In addition, folks who do this, never seem to arrive at the designated appointment times anyway.

This is the number one career killer in my mind. Being on time is being respectful and professional. Years ago, I was coaching with a number of account managers. While waiting in the executive dining room for the client, the hostess said while the clients were always on time, it was the managers who were always late.

When you are late, it sends a message your time is more important than the person you are meeting. Recently, I worked with coaching client who was always on time for scheduled appointments. I let her know how impressive it was and that it showed true leadership skills. The client told me that her staff and boss complimented her on it also.

Being on time sends a message you are managing your time effectively which is a the sign of a true professional.