What does staying the course mean? It means deciding what you want to achieve and even when it looks like many obstacles exist, moving toward that achievement.  A client (Sam) wanted to become  president of an organization where he had been a member for more than 20 years. In this organization he served often served as chairman, producing the desired results for each assigned committee task.

I was interviewed to work with Sam but he chose to go with another coach / advisor to run for the position of president. He lost the first year. This made him recognize the many skills and strategies he needed to put in place. I felt strongly about working on these while the other coach did not. I was asked to become involved halfway through the second run which he lost by a few votes.

Sam then ran with three other candidates, all of whom were older. He lost in run off. Anyone else would just settle for another role. Sam finally won against three other candidates proving that he had what it took to stay the course by viewing obstacles as opportunities and always moving toward his goal no matter what, to eventually secure a win.

Lately, we have been hit by the media that political correctness doesn’t matter…that saying what you think is the best approach. I agree with ignoring rudeness from rude folks because taking the high road not to engage seems to be the right thing to do at times. I often wonder, though, if with that approach, we send the message that we are tacitly agreeable. Perhaps, a facial expression showing distaste may send the most appropriate message that we disagree with rudeness, arrogance and untruths.

The New Year is approaching and professional and personal growth occurs when we select a new experience. The challenge is what do you want to accomplish, how will it benefit you and how will you do it?

In my classes, I ask participants to write down a skill they would like to strengthen and ask them to partner with someone in the class. They establish a timetable with this partner and periodically check on the status of progress toward the goal with him / her.

In my experience, having a partner or coach holding you accountable helps move the process along. I have personal trainer I meet twice a week. He is very good at making sure the exercises are done properly. He also holds me accountable to workout. If he did not, I probably would not exercise because business and personal needs always seem to intrude!

Asking someone to hold me accountable keeps me on track which is good for my physical and mental well-being. Would I exercise on my own?  Probably not. As I go into year two, I found that having a coach is critical to achieve my goal of staying healthy.

Holiday parties can be landmines for careers sometimes even resulting in party situations being taken to senior leaders. On the other hand, holiday work gatherings can enhance your employment capital by giving others an opportunity to know you even if it is only to say hello and introduce yourself.

Definitely stay away from controversial subjects like politics, money and religion. Many relationships rupture because of differences in these areas.  Holiday parties can also be events where you can begin to mend some broken fences.

At a recent family event, several members sported political badges of the two opposing party nominees. It caused spirited conversations but many uncomfortable moments. This event was supposed to celebrate a milestone event bringing two families together!

A recent NYT article talks about folks going to therapists because of the presidential campaign. Folks are worried and anxious about this election. While I understand we all have the right to express our viewpoints, it would be nice to attend a joyous occasion and leave the politics at home. Remember the long standing etiquette rule: Never discuss politics or religion at an event!

I have been having issues with my Mac Air since updating the operating system. At a recent session, while I tried to determine why my logins were not working, the Apple associate helping me was new. He tried several options and they did not work. Instead of trying more options he went to his boss and they thought I should go back to the technical person I use.

He could tell this bothered me so he went to another associate and asked him to lend a hand. Sure enough, this other associate solved the problem for me! What I found amazing is that this young associate was willing to go the extra mile to help me out. He did not just quit. He also learned from the more seasoned person how to fix my problem. A win-win if there ever was one!

An apology for a transgression in a business situation can be a complicated thing, and it is so organically linked to the context that generalized protocols can be treacherous. Let’s start with this one: you aren’t ready to make an apology until you really mean it. The person to whom you are apologizing will have an acute ability to sense whether you are just going through the motions or are sincere. That person will also know if your transgression is a one-off, or whether it fits a pattern. If the latter, you will have much more work to do. And people can always tell whether you are apologizing for your deed, or only for having been caught. Many missteps are possible when making an apology. On the other hand, if you do it thoughtfully and meaningfully, you may do more than repair the damage – you may strengthen an important collegial bond.

Good people get worn away when working for a bad company as in the story below.

As a business owner, I know that having good credit is very important for many reasons. For example, using automatic payment ensures I am never late for a payment. A company I did business with changed credit card companies making it necessary to call all the vendors to replace the card. This firm experiences many problems with their systems. They are trying to mitigate that by hiring good customer service people. However, no matter how good or how new, a customer service staff can only stay positive when dealing with legitimate complaints. Not ones stemming from receiving a call from a company saying a payment was rejected because they did not have the credit card.

I spoke four times to different representatives about this very situation. They apologize because they have the new card in the system but are uncertain of the problem. You can hear their frustration (forget about mine!).  How can a company keep good people when the system works against them? How can the reps  keep a cheery voice and attitude when the problem keeps recurring? That’s what wears them out, I suspect.

Some folks possess a blind spot. They feel that no one else can do their job so they walk around entitled. Everyone is replaceable. They key is to ensure that your replacement helps you move to the next level of your career. At a recent networking event, the person next to me lamented that she was not advancing in her career. She claimed the reason was that only she could do her job. In continuing the conversation, it came up that she had not thought about getting others involved in learning her responsibilities to groom a possible successor.

This caused me to remember a conversation with a YMCA board member. I chaired a fundraiser that was the most successful in raising money. The first thing I did was bring in a successor to chair it the next year. I pass this advice along to all my executives: Real success is finding your replacement because it frees you up for consideration for the next leadership role.

In the US, the presidential elections have thrown conversations and accusations down the rabbit hole where actual issues get more personal than policy driven. It seems that in our politics today, honesty is clouded. Name calling then becomes the narrative.

In the workplace, sometimes actual issues are skirted around to avoid offending others. The worst thing that can occur is when real issues never get resolved. The elephant in the room gets larger and looms over not what is said, but what is inferred. It is important to dialog honestly without resorting to gutter-speak.

This lesson can be applied to my role. When coaching clients who have not been told or have not truly heard the critical issues holding them back, it is important to get to the heart of the subject. My job is to ask questions that help the client realize what it takes to be successful. For that to occur, they must be honest with themselves. That allows for graceful conversations.