Joe Lacob, the majority owner of the Golden State Warriors, has worked in venture capital for three decades. This season, Lacob’s sixth as majority owner, the Warriors are on pace to break the league record of 72 wins in a season (which is just 82 games long). I’m a professional listener,” he told me. “There are a lot of smart people in the world, you know. I’m not the smartest. I’m just an integrator.” We can all learn from Joe Lacob.

How many times have you not been introduced when in a group? To overcome that and become visible is to introduce yourself. This helps the person who might have forgotten a name or two while simultaneously getting make you noticed. This is also how you become visible in a networking situation when meeting with new folks. Remember to add a smile before you even open your mouth, especially when riding on an elevator!

Recently in a class, the instructor said: I don’t mean to be so direct and abrupt in giving feedback but it is because I want to catch the moment when the correction is made. Well, as good as that sounds, if you are a seasoned professional or just starting out as a coach, mentor or instructor you will go a long way if you using inclusivity in your feedback. Instead of saying something like “It is definitely the wrong approach”, you might say: “A different approach might work like this…”

When you are demeaned, it erects a wall of defense and emotional turmoil gets in the way of what might be a learning experience. Years ago, I learned from a top producer who was quite mean while training me. Did I get it, I sure did. But the scars remain and whenever someone reminds me of her, I run in the opposite direction!

Recently, I met with a senior leader who engaged me to work with a high potential member of the team he viewed as a potential successor. The problem is that this potential only shows up at important functions and meetings. Otherwise, he may be there somewhat physically but definitely not present at all mentally. My point is that every time you are in front of someone you must be in the moment. Often you are judged in everyday situations rather than the high visibility ones. How you engage everyday both visually and verbally are keys to building positive relationships which lead to success in every aspect of business and social intercourse.

Do you ask yourself what you want to accomplish when you walk into a room? What is it you want the world to know about you? What first impression are you creating?

Often, when I ask one of these questions to a client I receive a puzzled look. For myself, I seek approachability combined with an “I am in charge” presence. It projects with a confident walk, a smile on my face and contemporary and understated dress that connects me to the world.

How about you?

An interview occurs every time you are in front of someone and not just formally. In fact, most of the time interviews are informal which can be just as important. You should think of them as practice so that when you have a real interview the practice ends up paying off. Think this way so that when you are in the real deal, you will be natural and bring your best self to the table.

Probably close to 100% of the time, when you get the chance to interview, the interviewer has an idea about your background because someone already vetted you. Your role is to engage the interviewer so h/she can see you as a leader and a member of their team. In the interview process, your message is to share your experiences and say what you will bring to the table. Most of the time, when someone fails the interview, it’s because a relationship did not materialize or that the wrong kind of bonding occurred. Listening also plays a key part in making all interviews successful interactions.

A critical component of an insightful leader is coaching. Motivating and inspiring those on your team to make decisions that help make a difference is a wonderful gift.

It’s valuable to gather team members or peers to see the bigger picture so they are working together to understand multiple viewpoints. Asking appropriate questions that answer who, what, when and where is the first thing. The next coaching skill is critically listening to words and intent. It’s rewarding to observe and help people think a situation through and gently guide them to a decision they can own.

Recently, I was asked why communication skills matter when you only have five minutes to meet with senior leaders to discuss a project. Quite frankly, when I was asked, I was taken aback. Five minutes is a long time— a lifetime in some arenas!

You want to make an impression that says I am the person you want  in your world. To do that, how you sound, look and speak is critical. Given that you look, dress and act the part, the next step is to determine what point you want to get across in your five minutes of exposure.

Consider something like this: “This project meets the needs of this research or… this project tells us what we need to do to move forward.”  Bring your best self to the table. When you can do this – it shows you are a leader.

• Look the part
• Be confident
• Know what you are going to say in one complete sentence. Then wait for a response

Recently I had a program that could have gone a lot smoother. Though some of what happened was out of my control, following is what I learned from the experience in the form of dos and don’ts:

Don’ts
– Commit to cutting a presentation to 45 minutes when it is originally set at 60 minutes (requested because the organizers ran out of time)
– Shoehorn 65 people in a room built to hold 50
– Allow the room temperature to get so hot you can see participants sweating

Dos
– Always have easy access to your laptop or make sure an audio technician can help by sitting next to the projection equipment and / or computer
– Leave the plug in cords in an open space so you can remove items quickly
– Give the folks a chance to remove their jackets (and try to get an engineer to lower the temperature!)

It is easy to get caught up in issues not related to team objectives. Often, in teams, we get caught up in differences of opinions between members. People then begin to separate because folks are taking sides. As the leader, you must stay out of the drama and let the parties involved resolve their differences. It is natural for team members to expect you to solve the problem, instead, insist they resolve it themselves. They may or may not come to a resolution but if they don’t, they may just agree to disagree which is fine.