In a recent primary election, the winner did not push her competitor to concede because she had lost badly eight years ago and understood the pain. This reminded me of a loss I experienced some years ago that I did not handle well. It took the care of a few close colleagues to help me realize the bigger picture and apologize to the winner. Years later, I went on to be the president of the group. The point is that we will experience many wins and losses in our lives. Remember to be graceful for both occasions. It’s especially wise if you want to maintain many working relationships as you move forward.

Improv is about making the person next to you look good. I took a year of Improv at Second City in Chicago to help me be a better speaker. It also helped me design some experiential programs for speaking to audiences about personal branding and interpersonal skills. Improv helps in networking where thinking on your feet is useful because it encourages you to begin a conversation that is inclusive and not intrusive. Improv recently was featured in the New York Times business section on how team Improv can build creativity in thinking.

Recently, in the Chicago Tribune business section, they highlighted the best companies to work for. Being open to discussion, listening to issues and ensuring they are noted and providing a safe place for personal situations are three areas that make companies good to work for. Teams that are successful are led by CEOs who act as thought partners. As a leader, you empower your team to succeed with timelines and accountability along with listening to any issues that arise. How that is done will always be important in meeting employee goals and exceeding expectations.

“Figure Out the Things You Don’t Know” came out of a recent interview with Drew Houston, the CEO of Dropbox. That resonated with me because I am in the process of completing a course that teaches a coaching approach that ensures the client will always walk away with a solution to an issue.

The course is a six-month program for 2.5 hours a week. The main purpose for me was to start working toward a master certification with ICF (International Coaching Federation). Going in, I thought if I also learned something new, that would be terrific. However, since I have been coaching clients for more than 20 years, my expectations were low.

How wrong I was! The new learnings have been instrumental in helping me help my clients succeed. I had been so busy with work I fell behind in taking new courses which I used to take at the rate of at least six programs a year. This was an eye opening experience. My recommendation is take a course or program to further your professional or personal life. It just might enrich you!

Often, after a program, an audience member will come up to ask for my card because they would like to know more about how I can help them or their organization.  I follow up with an e-mail or a call but often do not get a response even after a few tries. Maybe they are traveling or been hit by a car? The reality is that sometimes people are not really serious or life gets in their way.

My rule of thumb is to follow up immediately for a month then I do it monthly for a few months. I eventually call or email, letting them know they can contact me if they would like to meet or talk about personal or organizational needs. Then, I put their information into a file for future business. Even if those comments are just a polite gesture and not a serious request, you always want to follow-up because it is a good business practice.

I remember how important it is, in the heat of the moment, to be seen as the smartest one in the room. It is a feeling you have when there is a goal that needs to be accomplished, you know the answer but everyone does not agree with it. You accomplish the goal while leaving some dead bodies in the process. In my experience, those dead bodies become your road blocks to moving up. Often, when coaching, the most difficult issue is getting clients to become aware of how being the smartest guy in the room can derail their careers. Even the CEO cannot be the smartest guy in the room all the time.

There have been many books and articles about what makes a great speaker. Politicians, especially during an election year, are great examples of passion versus script. The folks that get up in front of you who truly believe in what they are speaking about, bring us into their world. We feel their commitment and beliefs. The folks who are scripted never really hook us into their ideas. They may have more substance and experience but unfortunately, they may struggle to attract followers or win elections by relying solely on script instead of passion.

In a recent Steven Covey webinar featuring Diana Thomas, Executive Coach and CEO Advisor (and a friend and colleague), she talked about the qualities of A and C players using her past experience as a Vice President at McDonald’s.

Consider the following qualities to ensure you stay on top of your game and do not slide into the C group.

“A” Players:
– Embrace vision (the bigger picture or your goal) and bring it to life
– Tend to be creative, adaptable, resourceful
– Are willing to do what it takes to achieve results
– Attract other A Players

“C” Players:
– Resist change and make excuses
– Frustrate other team players (even those who might help)
– Drain the energy of others
– Can be distracting to the productive time of others

In the movie, Joy Luck Club, one of the Asian daughters loses her identity because she tries to assimilate herself into her new husband’s family and lifestyle. In doing so, she loses her own identity. I use this story with clients who might be in difficult business relationships with company stakeholders. They try to reach the finish line with work but the line keeps moving. These individuals take pride in their ability to deliver expectations but continually find themselves in situations where they cannot. They keep doing more but more gets piled on them because the finish line keeps changing. The folks who survive by pushing back in an intrusive environment are ones who know their own worth. So, when you can put a stake in the ground by letting people know what you are worth, you not only get yourself back but you receive the respect of others.

How many times have you been in meeting and notice that the person you are speaking with completely changes facial expression and body language? This signals that the person is not on the same page with you. What should you do if this happens?

Asking a question to reengage the person is critical. The question must have elements that will bring the person back to the conversation. Never intrusive always inclusive, and if appropriate, a why, how or what question. Pay attention to their facial expression and body language to make sure you are getting their attention. Wait for the answer.