The term “RSVP” is the abbreviation of the French phrase Réspondez s’il vous plait. It means “Please respond” – and it seems to be a dying habit. For years it was taken for granted that people would respond. Today, it’s a rarity to receive a response to an invitation. Non-responses are typical. Recently, I attended an event where the host had to track down invitees who had not responded. Why the rudeness? Not RSVPing shows a lack of etiquette and courtesy. It is good manners to respond within 24 hours of receiving the invite—even if just to say that you are not sure you are able to attend. After receiving the email invite regarding the recent event, I let the host know I might not be able to attend due to having a conflict with another event. The host was thrilled to receive the “maybe”. True professionals respond to their emails within 24 hours. One organization’s CEO has the firm rule that her staff members answer communications within 24 hours. It is a good rule for individuals and for businesses.

Affiliations offer companionship, respect, and safety which is why folks belong and groups grow. The negative side is when groups become one voice of yes people.

We all want relationships that bring a foundation. Beyond that, how do we retain our individuality with integrity and honesty yet keep the group strong? It is a question, I often ponder. Hopefully, groups will keep this issue on the forefront and avoid groupthink and shutting out different voices.

Today, more than ever in the professional and personal world:

1. Speak truth not fiction
2. Admit a mistake by saying “I was wrong” and giving an apology
3. Only say nice things or avoid saying anything
4. Be on time for meetings or conference calls
5. Answer emails within 24 hours

A loss, whether the death of a family member or loss of a job, is difficult for everyone involved. Most desire to give comfort. That could mean not saying anything but instead giving a hug (if you are close). Other words are I am sorry for your loss or for this difficult time. Never give the impression you understand what they are going through because you are not them. Offer your comfort simply and with empathy.

It is not acceptable to hold hands in a professional setting. Touching is allowed if you have permission to help someone up and down stairs by using your hand to support an elbow. Patting someone on their shoulder or arms is not acceptable. Hugging only works with peers when there is a long-term relationship and permission has been asked and granted.

In today’s divisive political climate, changing the subject is a good way to give everyone a message that we need to agree by disagreeing and stop discussing a topic that only leads down the rabbit hole.

Once, at a dinner party, a hot and very difficult political subject arose. Words were exchanged between two folks that I thought would be tough to take back. I immediately asked: Does everyone like blueberries with their dessert? That worked, and immediately changed the subject.

Good conversations while dining with a client are important in forging relationships. The main folks to focus on are the individuals to the right and left of you. If the noise level is low, include both parties in the discussion.

Refrain from conversing to someone directly across the table especially if the table sits ten. The rule is to never discuss religion, politics or intimate personal issues. If asked about any of these subjects, it is best to deflect and begin a new topic and always err on the inclusive side.

Always be aware of others in dining situations and eat at a pace the same as most of the diners. As a host, set a good example. Be the last to order and first to make suggestions.

At a recent event, some folks finished early and the waiter was sensitive enough not to take their dishes away. It is up to the person at the table to manage the flow of plates. If everyone is finished and you are not, instruct the waiter to take your plate away. Understanding these nuances will make more time for meaningful conversations.

Recently, I was with a group of professional men and women. One of the women turned to me and asked how I knew so much about sports, the stock market, etc. Being fortunate enough to have clients in several sectors, including the automobile industry, I found that small talk is critical to forging relationships.

Talking about diets, weight gain, or the latest color unless it is for a uniform project, would not be of interest. Not now or ever, in fact, due to the volatile political climate, is politics considered small talk.

The personal space standard, when standing with a person or groups in conversation, is one arm’s length. Business today continues to be gender neutral with sensitivity whether in formal or casual settings. The only touch would be a handshake depending the culture of the individuals involved. This guideline is even more important today to prevent any misunderstandings.