In a recent “The Good Wife” episode, Alicia Florrick was being coached by Eli Gold (Peter’s campaign manager), for an interview about her husband’s indiscretions.

He suggested that people do not always listen to words. They watch your facial expressions and body language. They want to know if you show confidence and look comfortable and sincere.

So, when you are being interviewed face to face, remember, it is more about body movement, facial expressions and a projection of sincerity. If you can convey this, your audience and interviewer will be engaged and connected to you.

Often, we do not have the opportunity for face to face meetings. Because of that, it is critical that your phone voice build a relationship with the person or persons on the other end.

Today I witnessed a client ace a phone interview which resulted in a job offer sixty minutes after the interview! Yes, the client had the technical knowledge and experience. However, as we know, jobs and the opportunity to interview are scarce these days. Now more than ever, it is the person who can create a relationship with trust who will land the job.

In this case, following are six elements my client used to engage the interviewer:

1. He opened with a thank you and closed with a thanks for the opportunity to be interviewed.
2. He repeated key questions to give time to think thoroughly before answering.
3. The interviewer was never interrupted.
4. He spoke with energy and passion about his leadership skills.
5. He spoke about what he would bring to the position and used key stories to paint the picture.
6. He commented on the interviewer’s key points by stating “I understand what you mean.”

Remember these six key elements and you will always engage the interviewer. And most likely, you will put yourself in prime position to get the job.

Change, as we all know, is difficult. It takes time and patience. Keeping a daily log on a particular habit you want to change is a way to ensure that you stay on track.

Start by writing the habit you want to stop on a piece of paper. For example, let’s say that you have a habit of filling dead space when you speak with “ahs”. You would like to remove the “ahs” out of your speech. So, each day, log how many times you say it. The goal the next day is to reduce the number. (Note: A tip to replace the “ahs” is to pause when you know one will come out.)

Keep this log for a month. Check it each week and note your progress. This is a sure way to feel a sense of accomplishment by making a change one step at a time.

Gossip causes more unnecessary damage to both personal and professional relationships than just about anything else. A study done at the University of Michigan indicated the person who did the most damage regarding the gossip was not the one who starts it, but the person who hears it. That’s because the person who hears it can either pass it on or stop it.

So, remember that when someone starts to talk about another, you have the power of preventing that piece of gossip from going any further.

We often forget we are our own reality show. If you are on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Spoke, etc. this is your show. Who is your target market? What is your message and do you convey it consistently?

The book 20 20 Workplace by Jeanne Meister, discusses the importance of social media. It’s basically all about interaction—how you reach beyond your backyard to become global.

My question is how do you ensure a consistent and universal message to your audience? This is why it is important to have a consistent story line. You want your reality show to become a hit with your readers, not a nightmare.

Begin to put yourself in the shoes of your readers. What is it you are trying to accomplish? Does it impact and add value to their lives? Or is it just a story of your life? If you can begin to answer some of these questions, your reality show will be a hit in your business life.

It has been suggested in many body language books that the arms crossed around the chest indicates a close-minded person. In many cases, this may be true of a person who might be closed to a conversation s/he is currently in.

However, I believe some folks cross their arms because they may be cold, or they may be long in the torso so crossing their arms helps their back.

The main thing is, that if you like to cross your arms, I recommend you cross your arms gently and hold your body not too stiff and tight. This will enable you to cross your arms and still look approachable.

In the New York Times Sunday Business Section on February 13th, the president and CEO of Olympus Corporation, F. Mark Gumz, shared these critical tips for success:

• Don’t make promises you cannot keep.
• Keep every promise you make.
• If you do not know the answer, say so and get back with the answer.

This is a critical component of building your respect capital. These three tips sound easy but in today’s business world we tend to say yes too often. If you can consistently under-promise and over-deliver, your respect capital will be worth its weight in gold in the business world.

What does tilting your head say to someone? Is it saying I am agreeing with you? Or is it saying I am only pacifying you?

Tilting the head sideways can be a sign of interest in what is said or what is happening. It can also be a flirting signal suggesting, “I am interested in you!”

Tilting can indicate curiosity, uncertainty or a question, particularly if the head is thrust forward. It’s as if the person was trying to look at the subject in a different way in the hope of discovering something new.

A tilted head that is pulled back tends to indicate suspicion because the uncertainty of the tilt is combined with the defensive pulling back motion.

Understand what tilting your head can mean. (Maybe the safe thing to do is to always keep your head straight!)

The poker face sends a message that says “I don’t trust you.” I just sat in a meeting with a such an individual and tried hard to read this person’s face, body language while listening to their words.

I understand the person with the poker face is being guarded, but s/he needs to know that others are listening.

For instance, I found myself thinking, “I don’t know what this person is really trying to say.” Is that the message a poker-faced individual really wants to convey?

Here are some tips to ensure you are not the poker face:

• Look at the person you are speaking to and not thru them – engage their eyes
• Nod your head when you agree with the person
• Ask questions
• Listen intently

If you engage by using these tips, folks will walk away realizing that you want to have a relationship with them. Then, they will begin to trust you.

It is hard to say no when we think we will disappoint folks if we don’t live up to their expectations. But it is a trust breaker when you don’t deliver what you agree too.

Of course, you can continue to say yes and hope most of the time you will be able to deliver what you promise. However, think about the times you did not deliver. A person’s word is golden.

Here are some words to use to help you say no in an inclusive manner:

• Yes, I can and by (blank date) it will happen.
• Yes, I can but I will have to postpone the other assignment if I do. Which would you prefer?
• Yes, I can and it will take me to (blank date) to complete it. Are you good with that?

You can say no by saying yes cementing the conditions that will ensure you will be able to deliver what you agree to. That way your word will always be golden.