These are words that are useless but commonly used. You can identify a filler word if it’s heard but rarely seen written out. These words include um, ah, er, ok, etc., and they dilute the impact of your point.

Being aware of using these words is the first step to eliminating them. Start with counting how many you use in a day and begin to reduce them. Speaking slower while allowing your thoughts to catch up will decrease the use of these words. So will taking the time to pause and take a breath.

In my lifetime, there are two or three things I recall saying that I really regret. You cannot take those comments back but here’s what you can do:

1. Don’t make the same mistake twice

2. Apologize immediately – verbally and in writing

3. Breathe when you feel anger coming on – take a deep breath in and exhale slowly

4. Stop the dialog and suggest to talk about it another time, if possible

5. If it has to be resolved, come up with a solution quickly

Sometimes it is hard to stay focused in meetings when you are not an active participant or the meetings are back-to-back. Keep eye contact with those around you. Take notes and ask questions when in meetings. Give yourself a quiz afterwards to remember what occurred.

Managers often tell me how they judge those in meetings by how engaged and attentive they are. Having a poker face can be another career killer in a meeting. You give the perception the meeting does not matter. However, in reality they may matter more than you realize.

You can only be heard in a meeting if you speak up. Here are some ways to practice speaking up before you go to a meeting. They will also prepare you to talk if you are called upon when you least expect it (especially in a group setting).

• When you are alone, talk out loud. For example, read the road signs when you’re driving or do a monologue about what you see around you.

• Call your cell phone once a day and leave your opinion on a business situation.

• Be sure to have coffee or lunch once or twice a week with a colleague to stretch your speaking muscles. (This is also good networking).

• Before you go into a meeting warm up with voice exercises.

• Join a Toastmasters Club.

Doing good work and making a positive impact to an organizational success is only recognized if you are heard.

How many times has a comment stemming from a sense of humor provided a pause in a serious discussion or at least eased the tension in a room? The key thing is being smart about using humor by relating it to the situation. We see where a sense of humor has often been used to break the tension in today’s heated political environment. “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” William James

Two television shows focus on small business. The program on MSNBC focuses on helping a selected small business. The other show is ABCs Shark Tank. This show refers to the “pitch” which is a few crisp words on what the business owner is all about and why his/her business is worth investing in.

It is has been proven over and over again that if you have a good pitch you can sell almost anything. In fact, a perfect personal introduction should be treated like a pitch. The key to good personal pitch is building in enough flexibility so that it can be tailored to any audience to obtain the impact and results desired.

In a recent Shark Tank episode some folks were not successful in making a deal with the team of investors. I was amazed at the naivety of some of the individuals who needed funding and how unprepared they seemed to be to obtain what they needed financially. I think that unless you are a seasoned business person or have the fortitude to know how to swim with the sharks – don’t get in the water. You might not be able to walk away whole.

There were interviews after the recent US Ryder Cup defeat where the players were asked questions about their mistakes. In some cases, it appeared to be overkill.

When we make mistakes it is important to review why they happened to hopefully prevent the same errors from occurring again. However, it should not be a blood sport. Being civil is important. Being intrusive and rude will not change the past. It only makes it harder to move on. Losing is not as important as learning from it and then moving forward. Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. – Oscar Wilde

A number of years ago I had a meeting with a Senior Vice-President of a large company. He arranged for me to meet his VP who I would be coaching. The VP was a Guatemalan. In his culture, personal space is nose to nose unlike in the US where one arm’s length is the accepted norm. I did not step back from him because I knew this. The fact that I understood his background was important to him and I ended up working for his group over a period of ten years before he retired.

Here are some tips about personal space:

• In the US, one arm’s length is the norm and the only time you touch someone is during the handshake.

• In Spain, people tend to stand much closer together. They also touch each other more frequently than do their US counterparts. Trying to create personal space is viewed as shyness or rudeness.

• On the other hand, Australians require extra personal space—at minimum of an arm’s length or more is typical.

How you sound is as important as the words you chose, especially in different venues.

Your voice sound and pitch needs to be different when you are:

*In front of a live audience with a microphone

*In front of a live audience without a microphone

*Presenting a webinar using a headset

If you can, record yourself. Then assess what you hear when listening to the tapes. I have a Sony audio recorder that I use to help me ensure my voice and pitch engages the audience and conveys passion in the topic.