Affiliations offer companionship, respect, and safety which is why folks belong and groups grow. The negative side is when groups become one voice of yes people.

We all want relationships that bring a foundation. Beyond that, how do we retain our individuality with integrity and honesty yet keep the group strong? It is a question, I often ponder. Hopefully, groups will keep this issue on the forefront and avoid groupthink and shutting out different voices.

How many times have we tried to reach a customer service person on the phone but instead of getting a person, an automatic system responds with a long list of numbers to call? In appreciation to all the companies that offer this, we like the ones that make it simple after you hit the correct number! The companies that do well with the first customer service contact, usually put an efficient, inclusive agent on the phone that wants to help get the problem resolved.

When working with clients or others to solve a problem, resolve the issue so that everyone leaves with a sense of closure. This burnishes a reputation of inclusiveness and competence.

In a recent Tribune article, a world traveler was asked how he engaged folks in foreign countries not speaking the language. He indicated that a smile and direct eye contact cuts through language barriers all across the world!

This is true whenever we meet folks we don’t know. Prior to even introducing yourself, the direct eye contact and a smile initiates the engagement. This goes for all situations including intense ones. The first contact propels the next step of engagement.

There is always someone on a team or in the audience that makes the situation or subject about them, good or bad. Either way, it steers the objective away from the core issue. The best way to bring the conversation back to the point is to not spare them, but to say, “let’s circle back, or we were talking about this.”

Often, we must work with a person who takes up all the air in the room. With a larger than life personality this person can also be very fun to be with. If this individual is a group leader, sometimes, details and tasks never get addressed or completed.

Allow this person their moment and when there is a break in conversation, rejoin the discussion with the task in mind. Avoid trying to control this person but instead manage them. This happened at Thanksgiving with my larger than life youngest sister. Instead of trying to rein her in, I asked her to make the gravy and everything went back on track!

The moment one walks in the door, before any words are spoken, folks will have decided unconsciously to remember or not remember you. Working with executives, they want to know: Do you represent the professional, personal, and the organizational brand well? Can you be a face of the organization?

To burnish your brand, Here are some items to keep in mind:
• Projecting confidence is number one. This includes the walk, posture, facial expression (smile), and a sense of where you are going.
• Clothing choices will connect you the audience through a choice of familiarity or for a shock effect.
• Elegance is a critical component.

Also, assume the audience will know nothing about you.

Build confidence by doing it. Practice bolsters confidence even when there is failure. In the early stages of my work, whether speaking to a group of 20 or to one thousand, it took constant practice to fortify my confidence.

Go to different events to study the styles of those who are really the best. Watch Oprah or Zig Ziglar and note their speech patterns and talking points. Receiving feedback, good and bad, will always help you improve as it did for me.

Truth will always matter. Once, during a television makeover show twenty years ago, the host asked me what I would never do. I replied that I would never lie to a client or audience. Truth can be told in a way that is not hurtful. For example, instead of saying that the suit looks awful, one might say it does not do the person justice.

In the second season of the television series, “The Sinner”, a young boy decides not to run away. He chose to face the consequences because lies eat away at integrity. And a very good friend and outstanding psychologist said, once integrity is gone, there is nothing left. Being truthful is not always easy but it is the right thing to do.

In today’s work and personal environments, to accomplish all that is needed, we can easily become overwhelmed. This sometimes lead to anxiety. Harnessing the anxiety to shift it into motivation, is the best way change the emotion needed to move toward accomplishment. Taking note of the anxiety triggers will help turn the it into motivation to achieve the goal.

The cooking competition show is about more than just the food. It provides a visual of ways contestants and judges work under pressure to deliver successful products and give constructive feedback. The show that continues to give feedback gems is the Kid’s Championship Baking Show.

Duff and Valerie are the judges and it is the way they use the three to one rule that clicks. They look for the three positives and one not-so-positive area to help the contestants achieve success as a baker. The judges balance the fine line on these impressionable young minds. We understand they were chosen for their baking skills, personality, and how they receive feedback.
All us of revert to the child in ourselves when under review and feeling pressured. (Even when we try to toughen up!)