Lesa Frances Kennedy, CEO of the International Speedway Corporation and Vice Chairwoman of NASCAR, answered the question: How do you hire?

“First impressions are so important in terms of fitting in on the team. The moment you walk in the door; you’re being observed. You may not know that, and it’s not anything formal, but I’ll get feedback. You read the body language of some of the people they’ve met, like a receptionist, and you can pick up very subtle cues about how they felt about that person. Was the person respectful?”

As you read this quote from the NYT Corner Office, Sunday, October 25th, consider the first impressions you create no matter who you meet. Does your first impression project confidence and approachability? Are you someone they want work with in the best of times as well as when problems arise?

It has been proven time and time again that a team needs to consist of people with different communication styles all pursuing the same goal. When a team has communication styles that are too similar, diversity in thought seldom occurs, which limits other points of view.

Recently, a team I was working with had no issues with problem solving because they had both people and task orientated members. The people orientated ones understood how their message could play out if the emotional piece of the communication didn’t factor into the conversation. The task oriented folks understood the timelines critical to the success of the product launch. It’s no wonder that team has been rated as the most effective team in the organization!

I encouraged a client to go on a high profile interview because the more he received exposure to leaders, the better the opportunities might be for him in the future. (The old saying who you know has been long been replaced by who knows you!) Often, folks miss opportunities because they lack confidence or are afraid of interviewing. Practice is good, however exposure and practice is much more effective in building confidence so that when the opportunity arises, you’re ready!

We live in such a fast paced environment that we quickly try to get the heart of an issue. Unfortunately, we sometimes do this by jumping ahead and thinking about what to say instead of focusing on what is being said. If we all listen to the intent of what is being said, we will have a better understanding on how to develop solutions to problems. Seek to understand, then to be understood.

Recently, I had a service person come in (happened to be the owner) who began to tell me what I had done wrong instead of saying there may be a problem but we will do our best to fix it. Can you imagine a consultant or coach like myself right off the bat, telling a client that s/he has tremendous problems? Or you, as a new team leader or team member telling the group: We have problems we cannot begin to solve?

I am not saying that we need to be a Pollyanna but can’t anything somehow be made better? I understand the owner might have been under tremendous pressure but if he doesn’t work for repeat customers, that pressure may just get a lot bigger and lead to more serious problems.

Ben Wechsler writes a newsletter on success and has developed The Wechsler Leadership Program, Creative Problem Solving, and Strategy & Innovation. I recently interviewed him on what experiences led him to develop his coaching and leadership tenets.
Besides Ben being certified in all the above areas, he used his thirty years of technology and life experiences to craft the programs.

What I found refreshing, because, often we don’t appreciate our own steps towards achievement, is that he feels completing one goal can be a significant success. Sometimes, we expect to be the next Steve Jobs or the Oprah’s of the world which can be so defeating. He firmly believes success is when you achieve any measureable goal. Benhttp://benwechsler.com/success-network-how-aware-are-you-of-your-own-success.

Amy Wilkinson is a lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the author of The Creator’s Code. Amy’s two years of research can be found in the book. It turns out that leadership has nothing to do with age and more to do with mindset, skills and psychographics.

Successful leaders share the ability to:

1. Spot gaps in the market place
2. Maintain a long term vision
3. Iterate quickly
4. Fail smartly
5. Collaborate
6. Be generous

Folks with these skills tend to be revolutionary and attract people to work with them. They have the ability to cultivate, encourage and harness conflict. These leaders are not afraid of the unknown and constantly find solutions. They keep asking questions and probe until the best way to move forward is discovered.

I recently attended a showcase where professionals shared their crafts and secrets to help their peers and colleagues grow in corporate careers and expand their learning. However, it was easy to spot the presenters who were only there to hawk their services. They provided surface content only. I firmly believe the folks who were truly sharing were passionate about their craft and wanted others to benefit. These folks are in my book and are leaders in their industry. What they give to others will result in them receiving it back 100+ percent along with heartfelt appreciation and respect.

Among recent news was commentary about a very successful company that surpassed Walmart as the biggest in sales and earnings. However, it came out in the news how that firm nurtured combative and take-no-prisoner behavior. The high producers get rewarded and deliver at all costs, often sacrificing health and family. Teamwork and relationship building counts for nothing.

These folks are sharks. Sharks win at all costs and get away with it. Don’t swim with them unless you are sure you can win no matter the cost to someone else. You have to embrace the win/lose mentality. You are the winner and they are the losers.

I was once in sales and a top producer for 10 plus years. I learned from the toughest sales people and attracted sharks as friends. One day I realized that this was not me. The sharkiness came out of me as a matter of self-preservation. Today, I stay away from sharks and if I have to work with them, I don’t fight them. I just stay out of their way.

Asking intrusive ones are definitely a relationship destroyer. Recently, a colleague lost his position through a major reorganization of his firm. He had been with the company for 30 plus years. It really was his whole life and, in fact, defined him.

Instead of peers helping him manage through this life-altering loss, all they could do was ask questions like, do you have enough funds to live on, what could you have done to prevent this and have you begun to think about the future?

However, the best question would have been, how can I help? He was basically in an unwanted divorce. The next time you have a friend going through a major change, don’t add to the pain by asking intrusive questions; instead, be a comfort.