These are my key elements to help transition from difficult to better times:

• Learn from the situation, no matter how difficult
• Never dwell on the past
• Put a plan in place to move forward
• Take responsibility for the situation
• Get support from family and peers

Recently, I read a Chicago Tribune Business Section article about what makes a boss bad. Here are some of key findings:

• They do not recognize your achievements.
• They verbally abuse you in public.
• They pit you against your peers.
• They offer no support or tools to help you achieve results.
• They have no interest in you as a person only as a tool to achieve their goals.

How do you survive with a bad boss (And, I had more than one before starting out on my own!) The best way is to treat their unfortunate appearance as a learning experience. Also, keep in mind that these bad bosses treat everyone the same way so it is not personal.

Working through bad boss experiences helped me work with clients to make them better leaders.

Often, I observe technically competent folks with reasonable communications skills rise up the ladder pretty quickly and then hit a wall. The C-Suite does not see them as the face of the organization. This usually is first impressions garnered on connecting with an audience. It is the way they carry themselves meaning posture, pace and how they look any audience in its collective eye.

Also, it’s putting together clothing choices, grooming and the key ingredient of style and confidently navigating situations. They can be cut some slack if it is noticed that confidence and communication skills promote steadiness. Can some develop the critical factor of presence to move into the C suite?  Yes, with the right coach, mentors and champions, the C-Suite is a possibility!

Successful leaders are always inclusive in their interactions whether is it just acknowledging with a hello in a casual encounter or making introductions in a meeting. They are inclusive in providing feedback. Even in difficult situations, any intrusive or destructive behavior is avoided.

This reminds me of an incident on a major project for more than 1,000 retail service centers. The vendor of choice missed the deadline for delivering the products. The CEO called a meeting with the leaders of the vendor organization. He stated in quiet voice how much he valued their relationship…however if the product was not delivered within 30 days he would cancel the order and go with a new vendor.

He did not yell, question their professionalism or go thru the cost of damages. Nor was he in their face on how bad the situation was. Instead he was all about moving forward.

The successful leaders I have been blessed to work with consistently do the following:

• Recognize good work
• Provide support for colleagues and staff
• Stand for the success of staff
• Build strong work and social relationships
• Support philanthropy with money and action
• Never shift blame
• Take responsibility for mistakes

What is the trigger or triggers that confirm you are in the much fabled zone of doing nothing wrong? Do you sense the zone from the calmness of your breathing, steadiness in your hands or acute awareness of the positive things surrounding you?

This reminds me of playing in golf tournaments when my swing is in the groove. That is when the golf ball goes straight and the putts go in on the first stroke. The zone is also the time to push yourself a bit more whether on the links, presenting to a small group or speaking to thousands!

A recent Chicago Tribune business section piece discussed mental muscle. I turned it into a checklist on things successful people do:

1.They refuse to dwell on mistakes.
2.They control their emotions
3.They are good at change
4.They focus only on things they can change
5.They please only themselves – not everyone else
6.They take calculated risks
7.They learn from their mistakes
8.They enjoy the success of others
9.They never give up after a mistake
10.They have the patience for long term results

I like this list because it supports my full potential for success.

I love the program Yes, for the Dress. I love Randy and the stylists that are featured. I also find the family dynamics around the bride to be very interesting. Kleinfeld consultants are there to sell a wedding dress but most importantly, the bride must be happy with the purchase. If the bride is not happy, the consultants empathize and let them think overnight about which dress works best.

What I find amazing is that after trying on 50 or more dresses whether at Kleinfeld or another shop, some brides still struggle to decide! I believe that means the decision is not just about the dress anymore but more about the marriage. If you cannot flip the switch to buy a dress, can you probe for the real issues? I use these brides as case studies for clients who seem to have the same behaviors.

Many leaders that are afraid of failing, end up failing by not taking risks. They play it safe by choosing the path of least resistance for success. The leaders willing to be creative and explore options not guaranteed to win end up winning. They know that failure is a learned event on the path to more successful wins.

Recently the news has featured constant dialog about the phrase alternative truth / facts. In my work, I have noticed that some clients struggle to face hard facts like not missing deadlines, poor work performance and grasping real truths. I think these people are headed for career growth disappointment. Until they can truly be honest with themselves by letting go of the spin, they will lack the credibility and respect of their peers and peers are who senior leaders look to for validating promotions. Unfortunately, fact deniers may end up without a role in any organization.