In today’s divisive political climate, changing the subject is a good way to give everyone a message that we need to agree by disagreeing and stop discussing a topic that only leads down the rabbit hole.

Once, at a dinner party, a hot and very difficult political subject arose. Words were exchanged between two folks that I thought would be tough to take back. I immediately asked: Does everyone like blueberries with their dessert? That worked, and immediately changed the subject.

Walking into a room feeling good sets the tone for the rest of not only the event, but the remainder of the day. Remember, the first  impression of the day is the one you set for yourself. As author, Malcom Gladwell, suggested, “The first impression is a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

If you feel confident, those around you will too. Good fit and the right color of clothing choices are critical to feeling good about yourself. The correct clothing formula strengthens your comfort, well-being, and self-confidence to own the room you walk into!

Project management means coordinating the time, people and materials needed to accomplish the end goal in the required timeframe. Often, problems arise. It is important to ask the question, what solution can be completed with the least amount of time and effort?

Recently, in a remodeling project, the new Hunter Douglas cordless solar shade was too wide to accommodate the panels for a cabinet. The shade could not be returned. The issue was a misjudgment by all parties involved. I took a step back and a deep breath without calling anyone names or assigning blame. New shades had to be ordered with a 20% discount. The key was to get the project that everyone could be proud of completed.

Recently, my partner needed to replace his iPhone due to the screen coming apart. Apple in Oakbrook opens on Sunday at 11 am. We arrived fifteen minutes early during a pouring rain. Outside, an employee took names for reservations for a technical person to help Bill with his phone. Apple management thought this would prevent folks from rushing in and help the customer and the staff manage the flow.

By the time 11 am came around, at least 20 folks waited to get in. How many times have you stood in front of a store waiting to get in amid confusion followed by a mad stampede! Apple deserves five stars for customer service. We were also waited on and taken care quickly with a new replacement phone in just 35 minutes.

In everyday communications, when there is no conflict, leading by example is easy. It is when conflicts arise and extreme differences of opinion emerge, that a true leader takes charge by example while taking the high road:

The No’s
No name calling
No assigning blames
No screaming or shouting
No using social media to air out differences

The Do’s
Do stay calm
Do take a breath and think before speaking
Do listen before speaking
Do ask about solutions
Do bring in support for both sides of the discussion

Recently, I was in a retail store purchasing a large ticket item. The order taker gave the impression she was being put upon (unlike Nordstrom in Oakbrook or Kohl’s in Elmhurst). The order was taken. However, it took 20 minutes to fill and no other customer was in the store.

The color ended up wrong, the original service person was not available, and the one that was there said she could not wait on me. The store manager walked by when I was waiting and did not pause or even cast a glance my way. I realized that this was the reason for the unfriendly service people.

It all starts at the top. An excellent product will sell regardless how difficult it is to purchase but when the service people are unhelpful, any product can lose market share at least in that store. Most products can be purchased at multiple places.

Volunteering is wonderful because it provides so many benefits to the volunteer and the organization.

For the volunteer, socialization, networking, teamwork, and in many cases, leadership development opportunities exist. The organization gets extra set of hands, another point of view, and awareness to others outside the organization.

I have benefited tremendously with my involvement with Toastmasters, AICI, the Chicago Minority Development Council, DuPage College, and the Graham Association for People with Disabilities. All help me in my work with corporations.

Asking the right question without putting words in one’s mouth is critical. Choosing to steer a discussion takes practice and critical listening skills. Ask a question by using phrases like: what is on your mind, what are you thinking or what is the first thing that comes to mind. This helps spur serious, insightful and meaningful discussion.

How many times do you have to deal with unreasonable demands? The real question is knowing ways to navigate these requests to meet them in a reasonable time frame without sacrificing  current activities.

The key is to agree and disagree at the same time by asking the questions: What can be delayed? How important is this request? What is the real time frame for this project? Instead of panicking and / or causing stress between all parties, stay calm and strategize the timelines.

Handling difficult feedback is important to overall success. Recently, I worked with a client who choose not to deal with this type of feedback. In fact, he never got upset but instead deflected the critical comments.

By disregarding the feedback, he displayed a blind spot large enough to hold him back in his career. Always listen to difficult feedback by focusing on the valid points and using it as a helpful tool in securing career success and encouraging personal development.